


one is silver (the other, gold)

by Mai_Blade



Category: Overlord - Maruyama Kugane & Related Fandoms, The Wandering Inn - pirateaba
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst and Feels, Canon-Typical Violence, Crossover, Family Drama, Family Fluff, Gen, Reader Has A Name, Reader is Reincarnated, Reader is Suzuki Satoru's Twin Sister, Reader was Momocha, Reader-Insert, Slight Yandere, Sorry Not Sorry, Spoilers, another Overlord/The Wandering Inn crossover
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-07-29 04:56:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 63,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16257107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mai_Blade/pseuds/Mai_Blade
Summary: Dying was thelast thingyou wanted to do to your brother.Having another twin feels like betrayal, so you never connect with the sister you once wish you'd had.You grow up in a new world that has magic and levels (andfood) but you'd trade it all in a heartbeat if it meant having him back....Right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The [words] in this chapter are bold because they're special, and also because I don't think AO3 allows colored text. Even if it did, I don't know how to do it, so **bold** for special classes it is!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: I feel like I skipped too much, and I also had my timeline a little off, so I wrote more to fix that stuff. o 3o

**Death**

You are standing in the wrong place at the wrong time.

A speeding vehicle loses control and jumps the curb at the corner, plowing into a group of pedestrians. Some are missed, but, unfortunately, you’re not one of the lucky few who avoided death.

The pain isn’t made any less confusing when suddenly instead of grey smog, concrete and glass buildings in the view of your cracked gas mask goggles, there’s a clear night sky spangled with countless stars above you. ( _Yggdrasil?_ ) At first you think it’s heaven, that fabled place you read about and based your character avatar around, but no, the searing pain in your body quickly smashes that illusion.

The gas mask meant to protect you from the filthy air that permeates the world prevents the blood pooling in your mouth from escaping, so you find yourself choking and drowning in your own blood.

Loud, angry voices remain indistinct in your busted eardrums. The agony consuming your existence isn’t helped when strange creatures appear in your line of sight, making you flinch in fear. Lizard men and dog men surround you, some of them holding weapons and all of them glaring or staring suspiciously at your prone form.

It isn’t long before one of them bends down to haul you up by your suit and roughly yanks the gas mask from your face. When you spew blood, they drop you in clear disgust. Hitting the ground hard is the last straw, and the last bit of your life leeches from your body.

The last thought that crosses your mind before blackness and silence fall is the name of the only person left who loved you, half plea, and half apology.

_‘Suzuki’—_

( **YOU DON’T WANT TO DIE** )

( _what should have been one child suddenly becomes two_ )

* * *

**Birth**

Relc Grasstongue is young and unwed when a female Drake gives birth to his hatchlings. They are a pair of twin females. The eldest has bright red scales while the younger has dark grey scales. His partner, a [Major], gives him the honor of naming them, and he knows in an instant what he wants to call them.

“Embria,” he pronounces, smiling at the red-scaled female in one arm.

“Ashe,” he declares, turning an equally fond look at the dark grey-scaled female in his other arm.

Veryl snorts. “They’re gonna resent that, you know.”

“Never!” He laughs, completely certain that she’s wrong.

( _in the end, he’s only half-right_ )

* * *

**Class**

**[Reincarnate Class Obtained!]**

**[Reincarnate Level 1!]**

[Skill – Prefect Recall obtained!]

[Skill –Deception obtained!]

_What. The. **Hell?**_

You were level 100! Your and Suzuki’s work couldn’t have just gone to waste like that!

What was going on?!

* * *

**Love**

Ashe is frighteningly quiet.

At first he and Veryl kept the girls in the same crib (a wooden box, really), but Embria was like any other Drake hatchling—energetic, loud, and squirmy—but Ashe… Ashe was just so… _still_. If they didn’t watch constantly, Embria might accidentally smother her younger sister, so they had been separated. As a [Major], Veryl had her own tent, so that’s where they kept the females, but despite their frequent drop-ins and attempted feedings, Ashe was wasting away.

His little female hatchling was dying by inches right before his eyes and if nothing was done then it was unlikely that little Ashe would live to the end of the week.

It’s not the Veryl doesn’t care, but she is of the firm belief that if a Drake doesn’t have the will to live then attempts to help from an outside party is only wasted effort.

Relc can’t bring himself to believe that, not when the Drake in question is his daughter, barely a few days old. He refuses to passively accept that there’s nothing that can be done for Ashe, so he spends every moment he can spare in Veryl’s tent trying to get Ashe to respond. The healers say she’s perfectly healthy, but no one can explain to him why she refuses to eat or otherwise behave like a normal hatchling.

Even now, with Ashe in one arm and a bottle of hatchling drink in the other claw, the little female is still, yellow eyes distant and staring right through him. He talks to her, gently nudging the bottle into her mouth, but the hatchling doesn’t suckle.

It’s as though she’s made up her mind to die.

The tears are rolling down his face before he even realizes it. He only notices when droplets splash down on Ashe’s small face.

( _he remembers the joy of their arrival, the honor of giving them their names—ember and ash, but by the dead gods, he never meant he wanted short lives for either of them_ )

“Oh. Bite me. Are those mine?” 

His chuckle is wet and trails off. Something is writhing in his chest, constricting around his lungs and making it hard to breathe.

( _if they burned her instead of burying her, she’d become her namesake and he_ didn’t mean to wish that on her)

“Ashe. Hatchling. Little one.”

The tiny, grey-scaled female in his arm finally shows a reaction, a shift of her eyes from nothing to his face. She slowly blinks but doesn’t make any other movement or any noise.

“Why won’t you eat? If you don’t, then soon… soon you’ll…”

His voice is hoarse and he trails off, unable to say the terrible truth aloud.

( _he didn’t_ plan _on being a father, especially not this young, but it happened and now here he is, on the cusp of losing one of two before she could even crawl_ )

A pained gasp escapes his mouth as he carefully pulls her tiny form closer, hunching over her and using both arms to hold her, as though he could prevent her life from escaping his grasp. He rocks her in silence, Embria sleeping in a box nearby while Veryl was out.

“Ashe. My little Ashe. Are you punishing me? Am I too young? Am I unworthy of you? Is that why you’re trying so hard to leave so soon?”

He wasn’t even twenty, and yet here he was with a hatchling slipping away from him. He hadn’t wed Veryl, and yet they’d had hatchlings. They were Liscorian soldiers, and even now, they were fighting someone else’s battle. If Ashe died, they’d either bury or burn her body, and then life would go on as though she’d never been there in the first place. 

Embria was too small to remember her twin. Veryl would probably never speak of Ashe again unless pressed and maybe not even then.

As for himself… Ashe would be a painful memory. Would he ever speak her name again if she died here? Or would it hurt too much for her name to ever see the light of day again?

He looked back down at her and blinked his vision clear. Her gaze was distant again

“Ashe. Ashe. You know there’s a whole world outside this tent? There’s a whole life of things waiting for you. Food. Fun. Playing. Calling your old man names and complaining about him to your friends.”

He laughs a little, though his heart isn’t in it. His claws twitch against her loose wrappings, but she doesn’t react. He can picture the last of the light leaving her eyes, and he knows that moment is coming soon, and at that thought, something in him _breaks_.

( _she’s warm and alive, but she isn’t_ living _, and soon she’ll dead_ )

Tears pour hot and fast down his face as he acknowledges bitter defeat. This isn’t something he can vanquish with his spear, nor is it something he can order to go away. His little hatchling will be cold in the ground or ash in the wind, and that knowledge _hurts_.

He keeps his voice quiet, but his body shakes with the effort. He knew he wasn’t ready to be a father, but he never imagined that he would fail at it this badly. He never thought, not for one moment, that any hatchling of his would die this way. What was it that he and Veryl lacked that their own offspring would slip away like this? Why—

“—aah.”

That wasn’t Veryl, and it didn’t sound like Embria.

Relc’s eyes snap open. The first thing he sees is the only thing he has eyes for: Ashe.

Ashe whose eyes are focused, who is moving her tiny claws, reaching towards his wretched face.

Heart pounding, without taking his eyes away from her face, Relc picks up the bottle and brings it back to her lips.

The sight of her suckling is the most wondrous thing he’s seen since the day she was born, and he can’t help but laugh, if only quietly, so as to not shatter this hopeful moment.

“You’re a bully already, Ashe, making your old man cry before you can even crawl. That’s gotta be a record of some kind. Not that I’ll ever admit to it…”

* * *

**Accepted**

Suzuki is out of your reach. You know this, and this truth is the reason you feel hollowed out inside. The shock of your death and inexplicable rebirth had temporarily distracted you from realizing that, but they couldn’t distract you for long. No, you put the clues together fairly quickly during your first day of this new life, and that was the point when you refused to drink whatever it was your new parents were trying to give to you.

Your brother wasn’t here. Your twin wasn’t here.

Suzuki. Kind Suzuki. Tender Suzuki. Caring Suzuki.

Your brother. Your twin.

_Gone._

( _left alone to wander those empty halls, to trudge alone through a grey life, painfully optimistic that they’ll come back, that things can go back to what they were if only he’ll wait long enough_ )

The yawning pit inside you echoes with the horrible knowledge that Suzuki has been left alone.

_You abandoned him._

( _that sad smile on his face, the loneliness in his voice coming through his avatar—his personal hell has become even crueler because now even you are gone from him_ )

You didn’t mean to. You hadn’t _wanted_ to.

That damned vehicle! Why didn’t you hurry faster that day so you could have crossed before the light turned and you had to wait on that forsaken curb? Why did you suddenly end up in this world just before you died? Did Suzuki know what happened to you?

_Did he think you left him without a word?_

The knowledge that you won’t be able to find him again is too painful. The guilt that he might think you intentionally abandoned him is too heavy.

If you die, maybe you’ll go back to your own world. Maybe you’ll remember, and maybe you can find him again.

( _the one who was always by your side, the one who pulled you into a new world so he could share something that made him happy_ )

You meant to die. This new body was surely too weak to sustain itself very long if you didn’t eat.

But your new father… he _cried_. These past days since you made your choice, he was the one who tried to most, the longest, to try to get you to eat. He spoke, and though you understood him, you turned a deaf ear to him. You didn’t want to know him or acknowledge him. He wasn’t the one you wanted.

…But he cried.

( _did Suzuki cry too? was he crying somewhere for you?_ )

He cried over you, his warm tears sprinkling your face. You don’t remember what he was had just finished speaking of, nor are you even sure you know his name—but you know that this one is your father. He is half the reason this body exists.

His tears tell you everything you don’t want to hear, words that sear themselves past your silent despair— _‘I love you. Don’t go. Please stay.’_

He breaks your heart—and your silence.

“Aaah.”

Deep down, you know you can’t go back to Suzuki. Your time with him has past. You can’t get that back. Even if you died, what guarantee was there that you would go back to your world?

Suzuki was gone, beyond your reach to get back.

But your new father, this lizard man who was crying for you—

For him, to stop his tears, to stop his sadness, you could at least not kill this body that was supposed to be his child.

Yes. You could do at least that much.

* * *

**Reflecting**

You are _helpless._

You don’t know how it happened, but you have somehow been reborn to a pair of the lizard men. It was difficult to reconcile yourself with that fact, and you nearly died due to depriving your new body of nourishment, but you pulled through, mostly thanks to your new father’s efforts. 

Thankfully, at least baby lizard men are not as weak and helpless as human babies are. Still, being so small means that you are neither strong nor fast, and you have to play catchup due to your starvation stint. You are literally at the mercy of anyone or anything that decides to hurt and/or take a bite of your small, scaley hide.

You also have a twin, a tiny lizard man with red scales known as Embria. Actually, you should probably stop calling them and yourself ‘lizard man/men’ as your mother and father refer to each other and you both as ‘Drakes’. So, you are a Drake and you have a Drake twin—a sister—and you are female. It was lucky they told you, because you wouldn’t have been able to be certain based on your own negligible knowledge of lizards and/or dragons.

…Actually, sometimes you had trouble telling apart Japanese people from male and female…

Anyway, yeah; new life, new body, new family…

Did absolutely nothing to replace Suzuki in your heart, truth be told. With [Perfect Recall], you could exactly recall your elder brother’s face ( _the smiles, the sadness, the thinness of his features_ ). He was your twin and the only one you counted for all Embria was also your twin.

Who, at that moment, shoved you over and started wrestling with you.

Screeching—an embarrassing but automatic reaction—you tried to fend her off but only ended up encouraging her. Your parents, Veryl and Relc, had left you both alone in a tent while very concerning noise drifted over from (thankfully) far away. Even you could tell that that was the sound of battle, and you could only hope that you and Embria would be safe where you were.

Usually Veryl and Relc would alternate which of them returned to the tent to feed or otherwise check up on the two of you, but other times it was a series of strangers, some of them scary enough to send you scurrying away to hide. Embria, on the other hand (claw?), seemed fearless. Your twin, small as she was, would step between you and the stranger during those times, tiny claws and fangs bared in challenge. Her courage earned her laughter and mock surrenders, and when she became familiar with their faces, she stopped ‘protecting’ you.

( _you would always remember her tiny back_ )

“How are my little females?!”

You squeak, startled by Relc’s sudden appearance at the tent entrance, flaps thrown open when he bellowed his greeting. He laughed as Embria scrambled over you to rush at him. You had just pushed yourself up when you found yourself grabbed and hauled upwards by a massive hand. You squeaked again and clung to Relc as he made his way over to a wooden chair.

Soon you and Embria were sitting on his knees. Your twin made happy noises up at him while you sat quietly.

“Ashe?”

Your new name. He’s addressing you.

Reluctantly, you look up at him. He’s smiling down at you, and you have to look away.

Embria is Veryl’s favorite, of that you have no doubt. However, of equal confidence, yo— _Ashe_ is Relc’s favorite.

You’re not Ashe, not really, so it’s always hard to meet his eyes. What would he do if he learned the truth of what you were? You’re pretty sure you don’t want to know, so you’ll just keep pretending to be Ashe.

Besides, it’s not as though you have anything else to do, or anywhere else to be.

* * *

**Different**

As far as you could figure, your parents were soldiers of differing ranks, and you and Embria had been born among an army of some kind, travelling from battle to battle. From what you could gather from Veryl and Relc’s talks, the army was the ‘Liscorian Army’, and they took on jobs to fight. At your age and small size, the world was generally restricted to Veryl or Relc’s tents, and Embria, being your elder twin sister, was your most common companion.

It was a strange life, at least compared to what you thought of as ‘normal’. ‘Normal’ meant being Japanese and living in Japan with poisonous smog and grey skies. ‘Normal’ meant being (Name) Satoru and talking and/or seeing Suzuki every day. ‘Normal’ meant living under the rule of the massive companies that had all the true power in the world. ‘Normal’ meant oppression, mundane, struggle…

However, here, there was a blue sky. A _blue sky_! Relc laughed the first time he carried you outside the tent, for your eyes must have surely widened on your baby face. Aside from the smell of the beings and few animals in the camp, the air was fresh and clean. Beyond the encampment, there was green grass and various floras. This world was nothing like the one you’d left behind.

Here, your mother wasn’t wasting away from a lack of food combined with fatigue. Your twin was as well-fed as you were, and she had so much energy, and a future to look forward to. Your father made an effort to be a part of your life, and he didn’t walk out on Veryl.

You had a class, [Reincarnate], and both your parents spoke of their own classes. They also talked of others’ classes and levels, of magic and leveling. This world was new, fresh, and operated similar to a game.

If only Suzuki was with you. This new life could have been almost perfect.

* * *

**Snow**

You weren’t even a year old when you experienced your first winter. It was a strange phenomenon, considering that the snow came all at once. One day you and Embria were inside Veryl’s tent at a new location while your parents were off at some battle, and things were normal until a sudden cold descended around the tent.

Embria paused in trying to drag you out from under Veryl’s cot where you’d hidden from her in protest against wrestling, and her breath was white as you shivered on the suddenly cold ground. She chirped at you to come out, and you did, because something had happened. You both clambered into Embria’s box and huddled together under her blanket.

When Relc came at last, he was cursing. It took him a few moments to go to you two, and when you both looked up at him, his scowling face was framed by the box’s sides. He huffed and lifted you both up at the same time.

“Well, females,” he sighed heavily, “Winter’s here.” He paused before grinning. “This is your first winter, isn’t it? Well, let’s take a look outside, shall we?”

When your eyes adjusted to the sudden light of outside, you felt your jaw drop as you surveyed the camp. There was snow _everywhere_. Pure, white snow! And not just a light dusting, but inches of it covered everything as far as your eyes could see.

Relc gave the sky a suspicious look around, but he seemed satisfied that… something or other was gone, or at least not going to happen again right away.

“Winter comes all at once,” he explained, nodding at the camp where other Drakes and Gnolls were clearing snow off surfaces. “You’ll want to avoid the blue lights. Buggers will freeze you, and that would be bad for your small bodies.”

With that, he took you both back inside, and when he set you down to do something else, you were still stunned.

That was the first time you had ever seen white snow, and the first time you had ever heard of winter arriving ‘all at once’. This world had so many things to learn about!

( _a part of you distantly wailed that the seasons didn’t work like that, but that part of you was increasingly ignored the longer you spent alive as Ashe_ )

* * *

**Second**

You were barely eight years old when someone burst into Veryl’s tent one day and yelled that the second Antinium war had just begun. Embria tended to take her cues from mother, so she was quick to develop prejudices and biases. On the other claw, you wanted to reserve judgement until after you met a species, though at this point you had to admit to yourself that if the Antinium killed either Veryl or Relc, you would hate them.

The army, which had been on its way home to Liscor, turned around and marched in a new direction. Relc complained about it, saying that you and Embria should see home at least once before you were ten, but Veryl said there was nothing to be done about it. They had their orders, and Relc agreed, though he grumbled darkly under his breath about it more than once.

It soon came to pass that the land became embroiled in a multi-sided war. The Drakes and Gnolls had started with fighting only the Antinium, but then came the Goblins, and the Necromancer; four sides, one war! This was less than ten years after the first war with the Antinium, and nearly everyone in the army was eager to kill the ‘blasted bugs’.

Nowadays, you and Embria would be hustled out of the tent when news came to Veryl or Relc, but no one really enforced the distance, so you and Embria often ended up listening just outside the tents. Your twin wanted to grow up to fight and join the army, but personally, you wanted to be able to run away from danger (not that you ever said so aloud to her or anyone).

One night, after overhearing some news about a particularly bad battle against the Antinium, you settled down into your bed near Embria’s and stared at your pillow. You remembered how once you refused a ridiculous Class, and wondered if that could work in reverse—could you will a Class into being? If so, you knew which once you wanted.

_‘I want to be able to run.’_

That thought came to you in various forms, and as your eyes drifted closed, you knew that that was what you truly wanted. Then, as you fell asleep—

[Runner Class Obtained!]

[Runner Level 1!]

[Skill – Runner’s Form Obtained!]

[Skill – Lesser Stamina Obtained!]

You sat bolt upright.

“I’m a [Runner]!”

Embria woke up confused. Relc, whose turn it was to host you two, was confused too, but he hadn’t been sleeping and took your new Class as an excuse to drag both of you out to a fire so he could sit around and boast about his amazing kid.

Embria was jealous, but she did admit that she didn’t want to be a [Runner], so in the end she grudgingly admitted that it was impressive that you had a Class.

Relc and Veryl took your new Class as an excuse to start you running errands and less important messages around their respective wings, but you didn’t mind it too much.

By the time the Second Antinium War ended, you were ten years old and a level 4 [Runner].

* * *

**Life**

Since your death and rebirth, time had seemed to fly. 

You had learned a lot, including that you could refuse classes, so, in keeping with Suzuki’s advice to carefully consider your ‘character build’, you stuck with your two Classes [Reincarnate] and [Runner]. In the time you’d been alive, you had listened to people talking about their Classes and levels, and there was something you had noticed: people with many Classes tended to be weaker than those with fewer, and they also took longer to level up. If this world worked differently from Yggdrasil, then rather than spreading your levels in a multi-class/job build, you should stick with as few as possible and concentrate on the main Class you wanted to level in, which in this case was [Runner].

In keeping constant with your old life, aside from when you were running errands for mother and/or father, you generally let your older twin decide on what the two of you were going to do, and so you ended up being Embria’s shadow for the most part.

However, after one of Embria’s impassioned declarations on her future plans, it occurred to you that literally being born into an army might meant you were obligated to join them. That thought, of being drafted for wars you didn’t want to fight, made you curl up under a table until your father picked you up and managed to pry it out of you. Embria, who had been concerned and hovered nearby while he held you on his lap, snorted and harangued you for being scared of something so stupid.

Glancing fearfully up at Relc, you were surprised to see him looking… melancholic?

“Embria,” he said softly, getting her attention. Seeing that she was looking, he continued, “There’s more to life than war.”

Her tail thrashed behind her. “But there’s nothing more important than the army! You and mom are respected soldiers! I _know_ you’re strong, dad! Mom is too!”

Relc scratched the back of his head. “Well, yeah, we are, and yeah, we got strong by being in the army, but—“

Embria’s eyes blazed. “I’m going to be strong, too! When I grow up, I’m going to join the army!”

He stared at her for a long moment before turning his gaze on you. “And you, Ashe? What are you going to do when you grow up?”

You hesitated because he was in the army, and Embria was right there and _she_ wanted to join the army. Tears welled up in your eyes and you shook your head, lowering it so that you wouldn’t have to look at either of them.

( _you’re not a child, you shouldn’t be sitting on his lap acting like one, but you truly don’t want to fight in endless wars_ )

Embria spoke for you. “Ashe is going to join the army with me, aren’t you, Ashe?”

Timidly, you shook your head again. Even though this world had levels and magic, this wasn’t a game. You ate, and slept, and _felt_. This was life, and there was death, and—

“I don’t wanna.”

“Ashe!”

“ _Embria._ ”

You huddled against Relc who seemed to be your ally against Embria’s mad desire to join the army. When you refused to look at her, she snarled.

“Coward!”

“Embria!”

You glanced up in time to see the tent flaps closing, presumably behind your twin who wasn’t present anymore. Mournfully, you looked up at your father.

“I’m sorry.”

He sighed, shaking his head, “Nah. There’s nothing you gotta be sorry about, kid. War’s not for everyone.” He met your eyes and lowered his voice secretively. “Wanna know a secret?”

You stared back at him and slowly nodded your head.

He grinned ruefully. “I wanna grow old.” At your confused look, he swept out an arm. “Behold, the glorious Liscorian Army. Mercenaries for hire, basically. We’ll fight for anyone who hires us.” He lowered his arm. “I’ve gotten strong, but I’ve also lost good friends on those battlefields. If I keep going like this, like Veryl wants to, then I’ll die before I’m old.” He grinned again, though it seemed forced. “I’ll die before I can see _your_ kids, kid.”

“Dad!” You shoved at him, smiling for the first time since that terrifying thought first crossed your mind.

He chuckled, but soon the humor left the tent and silence reigned for several long moments.

“I’m gonna leave the army.” He looked down at you. “Kid—“

“Take me with you.” Your tail swished behind you, brushing against his armor as you pleaded. “Please take me with you.”

It took him the end of the war and two more years to decide to leave, but when the time came, he did.

He took you with him.

* * *

**Travel**

Veryl was blasé when Relc announced that he was leaving and taking you with him. Apparently Embria had already spoken to her because all Veryl had to say was, “I get one kid, you get one kid… Works fine for me.”

Embria… Embria was angry, and she didn’t come to see either you or Relc when the time came to leave. No matter how long you stared from over Relc’s shoulder as he carried you away from the army, you never saw your sister’s bright red scales, at least, not since the evening before when your parents made you both sit down at the same table for one last shared meal. You weren’t nearly as attached to her as you had been with Suzuki, but her rejection still hurt.

Since the Liscorian Army was between jobs, Relc was quick to put as much distance as he could between the two of you and the army. He didn’t use his [Lightning Sprint] skill, but he did move quickly despite having to carry a pack on his back while you were slung over his massive shoulder, and you were an older child of almost thirteen. It was a bumpy journey and you were cross and tired by the time the final stop for the first night came.

“Stay close,” he warned, digging a fire pit while you stumbled around trying to get your legs back in order. He added, “You never know what kinda monsters are around. Without the Liscorian Army around us, we’re going to have to be vigilant.”

“Okay,” you replied obediently, plopping down to the ground. Even though Relc had done most of the traveling, you were tuckered out.

While your father cooked dinner, you lay down and stared up at the stars as they began appearing in the darkening sky above.

Despite the fact that you had grown up around almost endless battles, you knew that this world was _beautiful_. It was a shame how everyone seemed to take it for granted that the sky was blue and the air was clean; how they didn’t marvel at the greenery around them; how precious water sources truly were. Your new family thought you were strange for how you viewed the world, how you took time each day to just _bask_ in the sunlight or the rain or the cold snow.

( _but you would still trade it all to go back home to Suzuki, whom you left alone when no one deserved it less, whose face you literally could not forget due to [Perfect Recall]_ )

* * *

**Home**

Relc grew more excited the closer you got to Liscor, home of both himself and the Liscorian Army. He hadn’t been home since the Necromancer sieged the city ten years ago, and the army hadn’t gone home since the city allied with the Antinium after they saved helped defeat the Necromancer. The army just couldn’t accept that a Hive had been established in Liscor. 

You’d been so young and hidden deep in the army’s ranks, so neither you nor Embria really ever saw battle, not even during the height of the war when everything was crazy with the Antinium, the Goblins, and the Necromancer, all warring at the same time. You’d seen wounded and the dead, but never a battlefield. Since the army hadn’t been to Liscor in the time you’d been alive, neither you nor Embria had seen the city, so of the two, you would be the first.

“Just you wait, Ashe,” he chattered, holding your claw as you both walked across a grasslands. “Liscor is great. It’s protected by four walls and it’s got the best places. It’s mostly Drakes and Gnolls, thankfully, and there’ll be a bunch of kids for you to play with! We’ll get a place… and I guess I’ll find a job.”

He sounded less than enthused about that, making you hide a laugh from him.

You couldn’t remember your father from Before. Mom and Suzuki were the ones you’d grown up with, and then it had just been your elder twin brother who had been there for you. Feeling attachment or love for Veryl and Embria had always been difficult because it felt like you were betraying Mom and Suzuki, so it was easier with Relc.

( _he shed tears for Ashe, and you would always remember that_ )

Still, you were always afraid that he’d reject you if he found out about Before, so you never said anything about it to anyone. Even though they were family, you couldn’t trust them with that secret. The life you had had Before, the family you had had then—that was too close to your heart to share with even Relc, whom you had let in the most.

You’d probably keep it a secret for the rest of this life.

( _because you lived with guilt—had you taken someone else’s place? had you killed the real Ashe?_ )

“It’ll be right over that hill.”

Relc’s excited voice brought you back to the present, and he gently pulled at your arm, prompting you to hurry up. His voice practically vibrated with excitement.

“Come on, kid!”

Rushing as best you could, you held on to his claw as he strode up the hill. Being so much taller than you were, he saw it first. You could tell by the smile that spread across his face the exact moment he saw his home in the distance.

“There it is!”

You didn’t even look at the city at first, your eyes instead locked on his happy face. Your heart ached at the look he wore, and you felt jealously writhing in your chest.

Relc was almost home, but you… you would never be able to go back to yours.

( _it’s a person, not a place, but even then, your home is impossibly out of reach_ )

* * *

**People on Earth might be the lucky ones, blissfully aware of only one life at a time.**

**~R.E. Johnston, Two Moons: Memories from a World with One**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm. I really think I mighta screwed up the timeline, but we're gonna proceed anyway, okay?
> 
> EDIT: So it turns out I could't heed my own words, so I edited both the first chapter and this chapter. ^_^'

**Dash**

To banish your gloomy mood, you suggested running the last distance. Relc, overjoyed to see home at last, happily agreed even though he ended up half-dragging you along since your legs couldn’t keep up with his stride. Even with [Lesser Stamina], you were aching when the two of you finally arrived at the large city gates.

“I’m back, Liscor!”

Relc laughed, arms punching the air. The Gnoll guard ignored him and Relc returned the favor as he looked down at you by his side. He was grinning widely as he lowered his arms.

“This is your home, Ashe.” He gestured. “Great, isn’t it?”

“I’ve barely seen the entrance,” you panted, claws on your knees, as you were bent double trying to catch your breath.

“You’re gonna see a lot more. Come on,” he said excitedly, grabbing your claw and pulling you after him.

Heaving a sigh, you willed your jelly legs to not give out from under you. The last thing you wanted was to be carried over his shoulder while in the city that was going to be home—you didn’t want to make that kind of first impression, thank you very much.

* * *

**Possessiveness**

Relc did find a place, a cheap little apartment with two miniscule bedrooms. You might’ve complained if you’d been any other species, but being a Drake as you had been for over a decade, you knew full well how _possessive_ Drakes could be, so some separation of living space and/or territory was necessary, even with one as young as yourself. The smaller of the already small bedrooms was yours, but you accepted it gratefully and set about making it livable with the few things you had.

“I’m gonna head out, Ashe! If you go outside, remember where we live now!”

Before you could even leave your room, Relc had closed the apartment door and disappeared. This… was the first time you’d ever been alone since you were born in this life. Normally Embria was with you, and even when she wasn’t, you were never truly alone because the army was just outside whichever tent you were in. You didn’t know all the soldiers, being familiar with only a few, but you’d been certain in the protection they had provided.

Now, however, you were alone and just outside were countless strangers you’d never seen before.

“But at least there’s no war outside,” you comforted yourself, finding the positive aspect in your new situation. You’d been over thirty when you died, and you had had your own apartment, so this wasn’t completely new. It had been the constant battles that made you afraid, but now you were in a city with walls for protection, so you felt far more at ease here than you would have otherwise.

Still, you were going to put off exploring for now, in (undesired) favor of cleaning up the apartment. It wasn’t terrible, but it could use a dusting, some fresh air, and good mopping. Dad— _Relc_ was a grown Drake and he could clean his own room, so you were going to leave his room alone. You did clean the rest of the apartment, though, using the few rags you’d had with you.

When you were done, the apartment much cleaner and less stale-aired, Relc still wasn’t home, and you were hungry. As the sky darkened and it seemed as though he wouldn’t be back for some time yet, you gathered the courage to leave the apartment in search of him. Or rather, in search of the coin you knew he had, so that you could buy something to eat.

Asking around eventually led you to a bar or tavern of some sort, and you saw your father sitting at a table surrounded by Drakes. Friends, maybe. You stood there until his noticed you and when he met your eyes, you glowered and crossed your arms, tail thrashing.

His smile slipped slightly. “Ashe, you shouldn’t be in here—“

You angrily jabbed a claw in his direction. “Then you should have left me _food!_ ”

He stared for a moment before throwing his head back and roaring with laughter. “Food! I mighta known!” He looked over to one side and waved a claw at you. “My kid, Ashe. Loves food.”

You blushed as the Drakes laughed, but since it was true, you didn’t leave in a huff. You didn’t have real food back in your previous life, not when it was so expensive. Disgusting paste had been all that stood between you and starvation, and some days the only thing that kept you going was Suzuki. In this life, there was fresh bread, fruit, delicious meats, and pure water. You _loved_ food.

( _but you’d trade it to see Suzuki again, to soothe the loneliness you know that hangs on him like heavy chains, to wipe at the tears that rarely fall and are all the more heartbreaking for it_ )

Angrily, you stomped over and leaned across the table, “Dad! Feed me!”

And so it was that your first meal in Liscor was in a bar while surrounded by increasingly drunk, fully-grown Drakes.

* * *

**Readjustment**

The next day, Relc slept well-past dawn and woke up with a hangover. Rolling your eyes at his dramatic arrival at the small kitchen table, you obliged his mumbled request to give him a cup of water.

“You should try drinking some water _while_ you’re out drinking,” you suggested, despite knowing full well that it was unlikely he’d take your advice. “Maybe if you did, you wouldn’t feel so sick the day after.”

“You keep saying that,” he grumbled, lifting the cup to his mouth. He drank greedily and gasped as he finished, slamming the cup down. You filled it again from a pitcher as he leaned his face against the side of his hand. “Is that your plan for whenever you start drinking?”

You made a face. “I don’t wanna drink.”

Relc mock-held a claw to his chest as though you’d just wounded him, and then he began extolling the virtues of alcohol. You half-listened from your chair at the table, mind wandering as you wondered how long it would be before he found a job. You didn’t fancy starving, thank you very much.

As if on cue, Relc’s stomach grumbled and his words cut off. He held a claw to his stomach and looked around. “We got any food?”

You shook your head. “Nope.”

He stood up. “Well, let’s go find something to eat and see what the day has in store for us.”

You followed him as he headed for the door. “Dad, we can’t eat out _all_ the time.”

He blinked over at you, surprised, “Why not?”

You frowned. “It’s expensive.”

He laughed and clapped a hand on your shoulder, careful not to use too much strength, but it still smarted. “Don’t you worry, Ashe! Your old man won’t let a single day pass where you don’t eat something. Now come on, there’s plates of food out there with our names on it.”

“Separate plates, I hope,” you drawled, stepping outside as he closed and locked the door.

He snorted. “I know that much, at least. Trying to get you to share food is like trying to pry your mother’s sword from her hand. If I want it, I’d better be prepared to bleed for it.”

You laughed and grabbed his claw as you walked out into the street.

After a while, as you neared what smelled like a restaurant or tavern—some place with food, anyway—Relc mused aloud.

“You’re getting too old to hold my claw, Ashe. Today’s the last day, okay? You’re a big Drake now. You can walk on your own.”

You hid the hurt behind a joke. 

“Okay, but if I trip and fall when I’m near you, I’m gonna blame you for it.”

He grinned. “Don’t blame me for your clumsy feet.”

You swatted at him. “I probably _got_ them from you!”

“This [Lightning Sprint] Drake? Nah. Your clumsiness is your own thing.”

“Old man.”

“Hey, I’m not old!”

* * *

**Thinking**

After eating, Relc gave you a key to the apartment and basically told you that you were on your own for the day. He was going to go look for—shudder—a _job_.

As you waved goodbye to him and he disappeared into the crowd in the street, you mused that he wasn’t really that bad of a dad. A little irresponsible, but he was right in that he never let a day pass without feeding you, and he’d kept you safe all this time, hadn’t he? There had been monsters on the way here, but he’d dealt with them all. Heck, he’d even crossed the land without a map to guide him, trusting in his memory to lead him home. Veryl kept saying that Relc wasn’t a good-looking Drake (you didn’t really see it one way or another), but you deemed him reliable enough.

Left alone, you stood on the spot for another moment before doing a one-eighty and walking down the street in the opposite direction Relc had gone. What did Drake children do? There had been precious few children of either Drake or Gnoll species in the army, and you and Embria had been the only ones in Relc’s wing. You had heard of a couple Gnolls, but Gnoll children were usually quickly sent away to grow up away from the constant conflict.

Actually, where would you even find kids in Liscor? You’ve seen a few, but usually with parents. Did you even want to find them? Physically, you were almost thirteen, and besides which, mentally speaking, you were over forty years old.

Erg. _Forty._

( _over a decade since you’d last seen him, talked with him, played with him—was he okay? did he ever find out what happened to you?_ )

You shook your head. Even if you were mentally an adult, you now had the body of a child. You were full of energy, and your body could actually keep up! With good food to fuel you, shouldn’t you take advantage of the opportunity given to you?

Once this world tried to offer you a ridiculous [Sandwich Maker] class. Earlier on that day, you and Embria had been forgotten due to an on-going battle, and you’d gotten hungry. Remembering where the food was outside, you and Embria had gone to get some but were only given uncut bread, a couple slices of cold meat, and a little bit of cheese. You had convinced Embria to let you make sandwiches (“ _No_ , I’m _not_ going to take it all. I’ll make _two_ , and only one will be _mine_ ”), and you did. The two of you had laughed and joked that you should be a maker of sandwiches when you grew up. That night, a voice popped into your head, saying ‘[Sandwich Maker] Class Obtained!] [Sandwich Maker] Lev—]’ That was when you’d panicked and forcefully, mentally rejected it. With your heart pounding in your chest, it had taken a few minutes of sitting upright in bed while ignoring Embria who you’d startled out of sleep, but eventually you realized that the stupid Class hadn’t stuck to you. Telling Embria a lie, you had settled back down to sleep but hadn’t forgotten what just happened.

So today your only Classed were [Reincarnate] with only one level in it, and [Runner], which had four level in it. Of your skills, [Deception] was the least used, despite the lying you’d done to your family by omission, and that was probably for the better since Veryl or Relc might have called you out on it for something big rather than that one time you and Embria broke an inkwell one time while playing around.

In this world, leveling was something that was normal and rejoiced in. Some people believed in a ‘limit’ while others scoffed at the idea. However, having been a player in the DMMO-RPG Yggdrasil, you fully believed in the limit, so you had been careful to reject any other Classes that came along (stupid [Sandwich Maker] almost gave you a heart attack). Your only Classed were [Reincarnate] and [Runner], and you were a little miffed because what _was_ [Reincarnate]? What did it _do?_ So far, it only allowed you to remember your previous life—

Oh.

[Perfect Recall] let you remember everything important, like Suzuki’s face or the look of his avatar, Momonga. It… okay, yeah, it was a really useful Class and Skill, and you were glad you had it. Yes. Good.

You blinked away misty eyes and kept walking as though you knew where you were going.

Okay, so you had… ninety-five levels left to allocate. What did you want to grow into? As a Drake, you couldn’t change your species—or at least, you’d never heard of anyone doing that—so you were probably going to be a Drake for your entire life. If you had your way, you’d want to stay in Liscor with its walls and sprawling city to live in. That meant you had to be able to make a living, and classes and levels could help with that. If you had a high level in relation to your job, that meant you could be better at it and hopefully make more money from it. But what kind of jobs were there? Bakers, soldiers (no thanks), shopkeepers, merchants…

Wait. Were [Runners] used outside of war? Like, in cities?

Maybe you should find some kids and ask them. Kids were always full of ideas of what they wanted to be when they grew up, and they’d probably know more about Liscor than you did.

Okay, time to find some kids!

* * *

**Jobs**

You had found children (loud, energetic bundles of curiosity with little to no sense of personal space, _why_ ), and they had been full of ideas about what they wanted to be when they grew up, but somehow you still weren’t satisfied with what you now knew. Coming home near dusk, you found your father in the kitchen and mentally groaned, knowing what was coming.

Later, as you glumly poked at a burnt meal, you wondered if you should just bite the bullet and become a [Cook]. If you got a high level, you could probably get a good job. Plus, you wouldn’t have to eat Relc’s terrible cooking anymore. Since this world had ingredients, maybe you could make some of the things you’d read and fantasized about.

Grimacing around some food, you asked him, “Dad, what kind of jobs are there?”

Relc, also choking down some of his poor cooking, frowned as he thought about it. “Lots of things. Depends on what you want out of life, though, I guess. Me, I wanna be a [Guardsman] because it’s easier than, say, trying to be a shopkeeper or a [Barmaid]. I’d get to fight sometimes, plus I wouldn’t be stuck in one place all day. I need fifty people to vote me in, and to be a [Senior Guardsman] I need four-hundred people to vote me in, but hey, I’m strong, so it won’t be that long before I’m one, for sure!”

“Yeah, you are strong,” you agreed. You hummed softly before asking, “Dad, what are your classes and levels again?”

Starting from [Spearmaster], he listed them off and you nodded along. Aside from his [Carpenter] and [Archer] classes and low levels in them, he was mostly a warrior-build. Suitable for what he’d been before Liscor, and suitable still for being a guardsman. You paused.

“Dad? Is guardsman a class or what?”

He nodded. “It’s a class. [Guardsmen] are common in towns and cities, and the class comes after you officially join the local watch. You can get some useful skills from it, too.”

You knew about local Watches. The Watch was basically a town’s local militia for enforcing their laws and stuff. Knowing your father, you eyed him dubiously.

“You’re going to slack off once you’re one, aren’t you?”

He did the mock-hurt thing again, but the wide grin on his face told you all you needed to know.

* * *

**Runner**

The next day, remembering what you had learned from the children, you found the local Runner’s Guild and went inside to find out what the qualifications were. Since there wasn’t really an age limit and only a yearly fee you’d need to pay, you decided that that’s what you would go for. Learning the city would come in time, so right now all you needed was the fee.

Thus, you went in search of your father, and it took most of the day to locate him. You found him working a temporary job at a construction site. After telling him what you wanted coin for, he gave you the yearly fee and a little extra for your lunch since he’d already had his and you hadn’t gone back home to eat the leftover bread from yesterday.

You ended up joining the Runner’s Guild that day, and you started right away by taking a shopping quest for an older Drake female. You had some trouble finding her house, and then you had trouble finding one of the Market Streets, and you ended up getting lost on your way back to her place, but you did manage to complete your delivery. You had one half of a seal and got the other half of the seal from the older Drake female, and you returned the whole seal to the Runner’s Guild. The male Drake behind the counter, Lyruss, laughed when you finally returned.

“It took you this long for such a simple request?”

Your glare only served to amuse him.

* * *

**Increase**

By the time winter rolled around—you’d since learned to avoid the blue lights that brought the snow, as you didn’t want to share Relc’s bad luck when it came to them—Relc was a [Guardsman] and you were a level six [Runner]. You had gained the skill [Sure Footing] at level five, which was good as it saved you from slipping a few times that season.

While Relc’s goal was to become a [Senior Guardsman], he was content to let things happen naturally, and so he simply went about doing his job. He’d tell you of breaking up bar fights, street fights, lover’s quarrels, and of fighting monsters while patrolling outside the city walls. You knew that eventually he was going to get the four-hundred votes needed to become a [Senior Guardsman], so you never felt the need to nag him about his goal.

Likewise, Relc didn’t pressure you in regards to your own job. In fact, he was impressed that you had already leveled up twice since your arrival that late summer. When you hit level seven before the new year, he laughed and jokingly called you a running prodigy.

When you hit level ten before spring, he said it again, but he wasn’t joking that time.

* * *

**Ambition**

Relc asked you what you wanted to do with your life.

You were properly thirteen now, and you were mostly familiar with the city now, due to your job. Tilting your head, you mused. “Well, I know I don’t want to join the army… and I know I want a hatchling of my own someday—“

Relc choked on his food while you ignored his reaction.

“—so I guess I’ll just keep being a [Runner] while saving up for a household. That’s pretty much all I have planned so far.”

( _you didn’t want kids in your previous life because you didn’t wish your life experiences on them, nor did you want to give Suzuki competition for your love—and neither did you want your heart to break for your children like it did for him and yourself_ )

Relc finished coughing and pointedly did not mention the ‘hatchling’ part. “S-so, you’re gonna be a Runner, huh. A-are you thinking about trying to be a Courier or something?”

You looked up from your dinner. You’d heard that before, but you didn’t really know what that was. When you asked, Relc told you that Couriers were more experienced Runners who did more dangerous and/or lucrative jobs, due to their speed. They were, basically, high-level Runners.

Your eyes lit up in interest. So focusing your levels into your [Runner] class might not be the pit you’d begun to think it was.

Relc saw the look in your eyes and put a claw over his eyes. “You had no idea, and then I put the idea in your head, didn’t I?” He sighed and lowered his claw, “Fine. There’s no harm in you trying, I guess.” 

He trailed off for a moment before murmuring almost to himself as he stared at you. “How come you don’t have any other classes? I know kids your age usually have at least two.”

You desperately tried to not visibly react. “I just want to focus on my [Runner] class.”

He shrugged. “Seems like a waste. And a little weird, but whatever. Just don’t murder anyone.”

He made another pause.

“Don’t murder someone and get caught.”

You lifted your gaze from your food to his face.

“You’re fine with me murdering someone?”

He shrugged. “I’d rather them than you.” He jabbed his fork at you. “And I’d also really rather you didn’t get caught. I doubt you’ve saved enough for the fine, and I know you’d hold a grudge against me if I didn’t bail you out.”

You rolled your eyes and shook your head.

“I’m not about to murder anyone, dad.”

“Just sayin’, Ashe.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll keep that in mind. I mean, I doubt I’ll murder anyone for any reason, but yeah. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“…I’d murder someone for you, Ashe.”

“…That’s… really sweet, dad. In fact, I’m a little weirded out by how much that means to me.”

He laughed loudly, but he didn’t take back his words.

* * *

**Escort**

The first run you did to a nearby Drake village was the first of many times Relc went with you.

“Dad! No one else has their dad take them on their runs like they’re little hatchlings! It’s not even _far_. It’s literally right outside the walls!”

“Anything could happen between here and the farms.”

“Dad, I love you, I do, but this is ridiculous. It’s _right there_. You can practically see it from the gate!”

“Yeah, and there’s that little part where neither side can see what’s happening. Goblins could be lying there in wait.”

“So I’ll run away.”

“So I’ll kill them first.”

“You are such a worrywart. I’m never gonna live this down, you know. I can hear the other Runners laughing from here.”

“Hang ‘em. Let ‘em laugh. You’re not going out there alone. Not until I’m sure you’re fast enough to actually outrun danger. And did I tell you about Shield Spiders?”

“Yes, you did. Multiple times.”

“They’re a danger.”

“I can understand that, especially if they’re hidden in pit traps. But dad, really. The delivery location isn’t far. I can go by myself.”

“Over my dead body.”

“…Don’t you have guard duty right now?”

“So I’m escorting a young Runner outside the walls. That’s totally within the bounds of my duty.”

“…Why do I doubt you?”

“You wound me, Ashe.”

He didn’t let you run by yourself outside the city walls until he taught you how to wield a spear, and even then he wanted to wait for you to get the [Spear Drake] class before he’d let you go, but you put your foot down and told him enough was enough.

He backed off, but, suspiciously, it was more than four months before you got another delivery run outside the city walls.

* * *

**Different**

The Antinium—saviors of Liscor who delivered the city from the Necromancer in the last war—had a Hive in Liscor. You knew that.

However, it was one thing to know something, and quite another to see it with your own eyes.

The first time you saw an Antinium, you were passing a construction site and several of the bipedal insect-people had been at work. You had been so engrossed at the sight of the dark brown, four-armed creatures that you had walked straight into cart and been knocked back on your tail. You were laughed at as you picked yourself up and tried to walk away with some dignity, and that was your first encounter with the Antinium. After that, you had seen them around the city, though very sparingly.

Then, one day, you found your father on patrol in the city streets with one.

“Ashe!”

You hadn’t been looking for your father, though you would notice him if he crossed your path or if you heard his voice in passing, but today he called out to you as you crossed at a street junction. When you looked in his direction, you immediately saw the Antinium following him, and you had frozen in your walk as they neared you.

“Hey, kid,” Relc greeted, coming to a stop near you. He grinned, though it was forced. “What are you up to today? Nothing criminal, I hope?”

His half-hearted accusation broke you out of your shock. You rolled your eyes. “ _Dad._ I keep telling you I’m not a criminal.”

“That is good,” the Antinium beside him said. “It would be an unfortunate event if the Watch had to arrest a [Guardsman]’s offspring.” He paused before looking over at Relc. “Am I correct in my deduction that this is the daughter ‘Ashe’ of whom you so often speak of?”

Relc suppressed a groan as you felt a grin on your face. “Dad talks about me?”

The Antinium nodded. “[Guardsman] Relc is very proud of his daughter Ashe. The other [Guardspeople] often tell him to cease speaking of her as they have heard him mention her. Or should I say, you?”

Relc cut in. “This is Klbkch—“He hastened to explain as your eyes suddenly widened because _you knew that name from the war_. “Don’t worry! He’s a [Guardsman] now.” He elbowed _Klbkch the Slayer_ and hissed, “Introduce yourself.”

The Antinium stared at him for a moment before turning his black, bulbous eyes on you. He sort of reminded you of Cocytus’s generals and underlings.

“Good day, Miss Drake. I am Klbkch of the Free Antinium. I was recently inducted as a [Guardsman]. Today my partner is Relc Grasstongue, whom I am sure you know.”

You nodded slowly in return. “G-good day, Mister Klbkch. I am Ashe Grasstongue, second daughter of Relc Grasstongue.” You bowed. “Please take care of my father.”

“Hey!” Relc scowled. “I don’t need a bug to take care of me.”

Klbkch returned your bow. “I will endeavor to so.” He straightened. “However, I believe that so far it is Relc who will be taking care of me. He was assigned to show me my duties as a [Guardsman].”

You gazed at him in concern. “Don’t pick up his bad habits, okay?”

“Hey!”

Klbkch nodded seriously. “I assure you, I will not.”

Relc threw up his claws. “All right, that’s it! Come on, Klbkch. Let’s go continue our patrol.”

He stomped off and the Antinium waved a hand at you. “Be safe, Miss Ashe. Relc often expresses concern for your safety outside the city walls.”

You called after them. “Don’t worry. I’m not going beyond them today.”

You watched as they disappeared into the crowd before continuing on your way.

Huh. Things must be changing if they were letting an Antinium join the city Watch.

At least fifty people in the city thought Klbkch was trustworthy enough to vote for him, and he did seem polite enough.

You could hardly imagine him cutting down entire battalions by himself as you once overheard.

* * *

**It does not take much strength to do things, but it requires a great deal of strength to decide what to do.**

**~ Elbert Hubbard**


	3. Chapter 3

**Missing**

When he hears of the traffic accident on her route to work, he fears the worst. However, no call comes, and as her next of kin, surely he would be contacted if something happened to her, right? But no, no one calls him. That would be fine, really, except for one thing: she hasn’t logged into Yggdrasil yet today.

Even if she was working late, she would have at least texted him to let him know, and she hasn’t, so she should have logged in by now. And yet, no matter how long he waits or how many [Message] spells and chat attempts he tries, there is no contact from her. His sister _never_ does this.

It’s so out of character for her that _he_ logs off. He removes the plugin wire from the back of his head and tries to call her on his cellphone. When an automated message tells him that the caller is out of range, he puts on his clothes and gas mask and steps outside. In less than thirty minutes he arrives at her apartment building and lets himself in with the key she gave him.

There is nothing out of the ordinary in her apartment, but chills run down his spine anyway.

When he calls in to her workplace, some unfortunate overtime employee tells him that (Name) Satoru didn’t show up for work. Her boss was angry and would be docking her pay for the day, especially since she didn’t even call in sick.

Worried, he retraces her work route, but aside from the area where the traffic accident occurred earlier, there’s nothing out of the ordinary.

It occurs to him then, that maybe someone was so badly wounded as to be unidentifiable. If she forgot her IDs at home, then how would they identify her body?

But no, it’s another dead end as all bodies were identified and/or claimed by family. Her IDs aren’t anywhere in her apartment either.

It’s as though his sister vanished into thin air.

In the weeks to come, he loses weight he can’t afford to lose, and his job performance falls to the point where he gets a verbal warning about it.

He finds out that her blood was at the scene of the accident, but that’s the only trace left of her.

Somehow, some way, she has simply vanished.

* * *

**Search**

He refuses to believe, and he spends less time in Yggdrasil trying to find clues. Through tenacity and a little bribery, he gets security footage from the nearby stores, but they reveal nothing aside from grainy images of the accident. Because of the gas masks, he can’t even tell which pedestrian is his sister. All he knows is that she was one of those who were hit by the speeding vehicle.

There one moment, and then literally gone the next.

He files a missing person’s report, but he can tell that the police don’t really care. He takes time off work to walk the streets between her apartment and her workplace. He hacks into her email but finds no clues. He scours her apartment and only finds a list of food she’s saving up for like she does every year for New Year’s Eve when she cooks a meal for the two of them. 

She does not call him. She does not go to work. She is fired, so he pays for her next month’s rent.

He waits and searches and reaches out to the guild members, asking if they’ve seen or heard from her. Though many have quit Yggdrasil, everyone still has their old email addresses. He gets replies from nearly everyone, but no one has any good news for him.

Herohero and the other two who didn’t leave Ainz Ooal Gown temporarily take over earning gold to keep Nazarick’s upkeep healthy. It’s the least they could do, they said, for the guild master who lead them. It’s the only help they can give in his troubled time while their fellow guild member is missing.

* * *

**Belief**

Suzuki does not believe in God or gods. He never has. What deity would allow their world to waste away like this?

What deity would take away the last of his family?

Not one he wants to believe in, that’s for sure.

( _he cried on her bed, that last place that held her scent, but even that is gone now, replaced the smell of his sweat and tears_ )

The others send him messages, telling him that they can no longer afford to keep up their increase of time in Yggdrasil. They apologize, but real life is calling them again.

They wish him luck, and tell him to let them know if he finds any news about Momocha.

He reads between the lines and knows they have given her up for dead, or maybe they assume she simply abandoned him.

Of everything his sister would ever do to him, Suzuki firmly believes that abandoning him without a word is the last thing she would ever do. In fact, he thinks she’d rather murder him herself before she ever left him willingly.

No, whatever happened to his sister, that wasn’t it.

She didn’t leave him willingly.

He believes that.

* * *

**Grief**

He logs back into Yggdrasil, and a distant part of him notes that he has been gone for the longest period ever, at least for him anyway. He doesn’t regret that time spent away from Yggdrasil, not when it was spent looking for his sister.

Checking the guild funds, he sees that Herohero and the others have left him some leeway. He suspects they spend real money to buy gold rather than go out and quest for it, even if it was cheaper. Nazarick remains functional, and there were no raid attempts.

Sitting alone at the Round Table, his eyes are drawn to her chair. It sits empty, and has ever since her last log in.

Aside from his, every seat is empty.

He is… alone.

( _his avatar’s face doesn’t change, but in the real world, tears slide freely down his face_ )

* * *

**Dead**

His sister died, and with her went the spirit of her avatar. He had never needed to log in from her chair, had never needed to personally use her account, so he doesn’t know the password.

He tries his name, and he laughs wetly when it works.

He strips Momocha of her gear, leaving her only with a basic dress, and everything else is transferred over to the guild. It kills another piece of him inside to create her avatara for the mausoleum, but somehow hers turns out to be the most accurate one of all, though that’s not saying much. Upon it, he puts her Heaven’s Raiment and other Divine-class equipment. He brands her symbol on her pedestal, and then he spends over an hour just having Momonga stand there.

He doesn’t cry until he leaves and catches sight of Pandora’s Actor.

The Doppelganger is sitting center on one of the couches, staring emptily at the entrance across from him. Suzuki remembers the line he put into the NPC when he was finishing its backstory. _‘Loves Momocha. Will fight against the whole of Nazarick to protect her if need be.’_

He stops a few steps just past where the NPC sits and silently waits for an intruder to attack. Momonga’s face doesn’t change, but he can’t look at his NPC as he remembers bitter reality.

“Pandora’s Actor…”

There is no response, but he continues anyway. He tells his NPC the truth, for all it doesn’t care.

“Momocha is dead.”

His voice cracks on the last word. Again, Momonga cannot cry, but that doesn’t stop Suzuki from shedding tears.

“There is nothing left to protect her from.”

* * *

**Torment**

Life goes on, and Nazarick is all he has left.

He almost makes another NPC, an angel that would have her face, but when he starts construction he finds that _he can’t_. He can’t put himself through that. He can’t make an NPC in her image with everything about her that he can remember, because he knows from experience with Pandora’s Actor that _it won’t be her_.

So instead of making another NPC, he visits Pandora’s Actor a lot more instead. He makes him take Momocha’s form, and he talks to that avatar, pretending his sister is only being silent on her end.

Sometimes he weeps and cannot stop apologizing or asking her where she went.

Sometimes he just begs her to come back or to at least say something.

But Pandora’s Actor never does more than he is ordered in specific phrases, and he never says anything in her voice.

There is no replacing his sister.

There is no getting her back.

( _she is **dead**_ )

* * *

**Merciless**

Life is unfair.

First, the first friends he ever had in his life started leaving, and didn’t even keep in touch with him. 

Then, his sister disappeared following an accident that left her blood at the scene.

And now this final nail in the coffin: Yggdrasil was shutting down.

For two years following his sister’s disappearance and subsequent declared death, the guild was all that kept him going. Keeping Nazarick from falling to ruin, hoping that someday his friends would return… that was all he had left in life.

Now, even that was being taken away.

He thought of suicide, but in the end, he discarded the idea. His mom and sister didn’t die that way. If there was an afterlife, then he didn’t want to risk sending himself to where they weren’t. He would live, and when he died, he just had to believe he’d find them again.

So he waited for the end, and resigned himself to a lonely life.

* * *

**Call**

Sitting upon the Throne of Kings, Momonga closed his eyes as the final seconds began counting down. After this, he would have to go to sleep right away as he had to get up at four in the morning.

_‘ Suzuki—’_

His eyes snapped open as he thought he heard _her_ voice.

Everything was the same.

And yet it was impossibly different.

The throne room remained before him, but his screen was missing its normal boxes and functions.

( _he was quick to discover that his world had changed, but he remembered the feeling of his name being called_ )

* * *

**Red**

Momonga stood with Sebas and Narberal Gamma, and all of them gazed out at the fields before them.

Red. The ground for miles around… was _red._

“Grim, but not exactly the swamps we’re supposed to be in.” Momonga turned his head to Sebas. “You say that this is the norm for over a kilometer around?”

The butler nodded. “Yes, Lord Momonga. Aside from some aggressive vegetation, there is very little else in our surrounding area. I witnessed no man-made structures in the vicinity either.”

“Quaint,” he commented on the aggressive vegetation. Such was unlikely to prove troublesome against the higher level NPCs, but he’d keep the weaker ones inside, such as the level 1 maids. “Have Shalltear place some guards at both the gate and the entrances to both Nazarick and the four mausoleums out here. Then, tell her to report to the Sixth Floor for a meeting with myself and the rest of the Floor Guardians. Albedo will inform the rest.”

Sebas and Narberal bowed. He replied, “As you wish, Lord Momonga.”

“I expect you there as well, Sebas,” Momonga added before teleporting down to the Sixth Floor himself.

( _it was spring in the Blood Fields_ )

* * *

**City**

After the meeting with Sebas and the Floor Guardians and handing out new duties to them, Momonga sat before the Mirror of Remote Viewing while trying to figure out how it worked. Sebas waited patiently off to the side, and if Momonga could put that fact aside then he could pretend there wasn’t anyone watching him fumble around trying to figure out how to work the Mirror. As a game gimmick, the Mirror was nearly worthless, but here in this world, it worked just as advertised in Yggdrasil. He was glad now, that he had purchased this thing.

After a few hours’ work, he finally managed to figure out the features of the Mirror. With it, he was able to spy upon the surrounding area. The red fields Nazarick found itself in stretched for quite a distance in any direction, but it did not go on forever. There were fields with the first green shoots of spring, and in another direction there was a forest. Near this forest, Momonga saw lizard men traveling with a cart, seemingly to avoid the red area by a fair margin rather than travel across it.

Following their trail back where they came, Momonga eventually found a city surrounded by four walls. There were farms nearby, and a lone building as well that was either a residence or an inn of some kind. From what he could see, the city in question was mostly inhabited by lizard men and dog-like men. The dog-like men could prove to be a problem. As a real world undead, Momonga no longer smelled of life, something that would no doubt be noticed by the dog-men if their noses had any worth.

As he watched, a heavy rain began falling, somewhat obscuring his view of the area. Was that intentional, or just a quirk of the weather?

Leaving the Mirror with a view of the city, Momonga stood up and returned to his quarters where Narberal was currently assigned to assist him. Thankfully, though, she did not follow him into his bedroom, though that was because he told her to stay.

Flopping down on his bed, Momonga mentally reviewed the NPCs in Nazarick.

Which ones could pass as Human enough to go investigate the city and collect information…?

* * *

**Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.**

**~Rumi**


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like there should be a warning, but I'm not sure which one. No gore or stuff, just... a bout of depression? Similar to her first week, anyway.
> 
> And I made myself hungry, so I'm off in search of food!

**After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom.**

**~Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha**

* * *

**Guild**

The Runner’s Guild in Liscor seems small, and when you ask a fellow Runner about it, he explains that Drake cities are too far for them to have City Runners. There isn’t a Courier in Liscor either, though one of the guild members, Hawk, was determined to become one and he seemed to be well on his way as he was a high level Runner. You haven’t seen him yet, and you are told that he should be easy to spot as Hawk is a Rabbit Beastskin. The Runner you are talking to returns to the topic, and confirms that yes, Liscor’s Runner’s Guild is small.

As the newest and youngest Runner, everyone is your senior, and as long as they aren’t trying to take advantage of you, you are willing to listen to their advice. They don’t know your exact level because you don’t share with just anyone, but they assume you are below level 10, and you don’t correct them. If they want to assume, let them. As the lowest on the ladder, there were a few who tried to bully you.

Key words: ‘were’, and ‘tried’.

Unfortunately for them, they chose to surround you out on a street and loomed over you for a few minutes before a certain guardsman happened to be patrolling the street. Watching your father rough up two Drakes and Gnoll for ‘threatening his daughter’ was both humiliating and heartwarming.

Less heartwarming and more humiliating was his escort back to the guild where he put a claw on your shoulder and loudly proclaimed to everyone present:

“I am Relc. This is my daughter, Ashe. She is a Runner. _I_ am a former soldier and a Level 31 [Spearmaster] with the skill [Lightning Sprint].” He eyed everyone in the room from the receptionists to your present fellow Runners and then grinned widely. “I trust none of you are stupid. Well, not as stupid as those three idiots from earlier.”

He then proceeded to clap you on the back and left you with the aftermath.

At least after that no one tried to intimidate you again, especially when you sweetly called them by their names, the threat implicit that you would rat them out to your large and strong father.

* * *

**Trigger**

You were on your way home after turning in the last of your Seals at the guild when you heard Relc calling your name. Looking his way, you saw him walking with Klbkch again.

Your father asked, “On your way home?” He grinned when you nodded. “Forget that. Cook some other time. Tonight, we eat out!”

You stared at him with half-lidded eyes. “Only if you pay.”

Relc clutched at his chest. “You would make your poor father pay?”

You jabbed him with one of your claws to no effect other than emphasizing your displeasure. “ _Yes_ , especially since my ‘poor father’ left me with the bill last time we went out!”

Relc grinned sheepishly. “All right, fair enough. You are still living with me and all.”

You rolled your eyes and looked at the Antinium next to him. “Good evening, Mister Klbkch.”

“Good evening,” he replied. His antennae twitched. “What is this ‘Mister’ title you add to my name? What is its significance?”

It was Relc’s turn to roll his eyes. “It’s just something she says to other males. ‘Mister Cook’, ‘Mister Soldier’, it doesn’t really mean anything.”

“It’s a sign of respect,” you huffed.

Relc made a noise of disbelief. “And when you use it on _me?_ ”

Your tail swayed guiltily. “…Alright, sometimes I use it when I’m angry.”

“So there is no singular use,” Klbkch observed. “How shall I know when you use it on me in anger?”

Relc laughed and clapped him on the back, making him stagger slightly. “Oh, you’ll know, Klb. It’ll be in _how_ she says it.”

After a minute or so of walking, your father led the way into a tavern. All noise stopped when Klbkch walked in after you, though Relc pointedly ignored it and sat down at a table while yelling for someone to come take your orders. Awkwardly aware of the stares your table was getting, you had to remind yourself not to hunch your shoulders. You and Relc were quick to place your orders, but Klbkch didn’t know what to order, so Relc did it for him.

Then, while waiting for the food, Relc turned to you. “So, Ashe. I don’t particularly want to, but I’m going to take you out to hunt Razorbeaks and maybe Goblins if we come across any. If you insist on leaving the walls, then you’ll need to defend yourself against those kinds of threats. Also, your spear skills are terrible.”

“Wow, thanks, dad,” you muttered drily. “You really know how to make my day.” A Drake set down mugs for the three of you and you drank from yours before asking, “So what day are we talking about?”

“Two days from now,” he replied blithely. He lifted his mug in Klbkch’s direction. “So, what do you think, Klb?”

“I believe you will have to keep a close eye on Ashe while you are out there,” the Antinium replied, lowering his mug. “Razorbeaks are cowards when alone, but potentially dangerous when in a group. Also, I recall you remarking that Ashe lacks an offensive class, particularly [Spear Drake] as you hoped she would follow—“

“ _I meant the ale,_ ” Relc cut in.

“Ah.” Klbkch looked down at his mug. “This is the first ale I have tried, so I have no opinion as I have nothing to compare it against.”

“What?” Relc seemed aghast. “Then we’re going to have to go drinking together more often! Imagine, living your life without ale.”

He shuddered while you shook your head. You could live without ale, thanks. To hammer the point home, you drank the milk in your own mug.

Relc demanded, “What about food? Surely you’ve had different kinds of food before.”

Klbkch slowly nodded his head. “I have had meats and fish on occasion. However, for the most part, I and my Hive routinely eat nutritious paste.”

The word ‘paste’ echoed in your mind, bringing up vivid memories of your days Before. After Mom died, there wasn’t food for a long time, and various pastes were all that kept you from starving. Sometimes Suzuki had to force you to eat, though for him ‘force’ meant holding a paste bag to your lips and pleading for you to eat. Your two to three times daily torture: _paste_.

Since being reborn, the closest you’ve ever come to paste again was oatmeal or Relc’s cooking, but there were always more options. In this world, you could eat bread, pasta, meats, vegetables, fruits, and even cheeses. This great opportunity, these delights—Suzuki couldn’t have them.

Suzuki got left behind in a grey and smoggy world, alone, and he still had to consume paste if he wanted to live.

“—he? _Ashe?_ ”

A claw came up to your shoulder and shook you. Blinking, you turned your eyes to him. “Whu?”

Relc sat back in his chair, frowning. “What happened, Ashe? Your scales lost color—well, they lightened, can’t lose color since yours are already grey—and you then you zoned out.”

He seemed concerned, but that detail was only distantly registered. [Perfect Recall] was showing you a montage of your daily ‘meals’ and you couldn’t make it stop. You kept thinking of growing up on paste, on your brother having to eat the same thing, and you couldn’t let go of the fact that he was probably still in that hell, old and alone.

( _old and alone_ )

The food arrived and a tantalizing smell rose to your nostrils.

“Eat, Ashe,” Relc ordered, still gazing at you in concern. He even dared to push your plate closer to you.

And you did nothing.

( _his eyes narrowed because his daughter never let anyone touch her plate after it was in front of her_ )

Instead, you pushed your chair back and stood up. Then, you said the unthinkable.

“I’m not hungry.”

* * *

**Flashback**

It’s been almost a whole day since the fiasco yesterday evening, and his daughter still hasn’t eaten a thing. She’s just lying in her bed, silent as her unfocused eyes stare at nothing.

( _and he remembers **that look** , he remembers this situation, and by the dead gods he never thought he’d have to face it again_)

Cold food sits untouched on various plates or in wrappers. Nothing he’s bought today has elicited the slightest response from her, not even her favorites. As far as he can tell, she hasn’t moved aside from the times he’s shifted her around.

Nothing he says seems to reach her, not even his anger.

( _he regrets that, but wonders if she’ll remember it anyway_ )

“Ashe. Ashe?”

Despite being confused (and disturbed), he let her leave last night. He ignored Klbkch’s advice to follow her right away, insisted that she was fine as he forced himself to laugh and talk with his sometimes partner. He asked Klbkch more about that ‘paste’ and forced another laugh as he joked that such a thing would surely be a blasphemy in his food-loving daughter’s eyes. He hid his uneasiness, but anyone who knew him knew that he went home earlier than usual last night.

He came home and found his daughter lying in her bed, apparently asleep. Then, in the morning when he came in to wake her up (“Rise and shine, lazy bones!”), he saw _that look_ in her eyes.

It punched him in his gut, and he was forced to remember the first week of her life when she threatened to slowly slip out of his claws forever. He was forced to remember his helplessness, and that made him angry.

He put his claws on her and tried to make her get up. Her legs buckled beneath her and he had to catch her before she fell and hit her head. He raised his voice and ordered her to get up, but she didn’t move or acknowledge him.

She’d been fine for over thirteen years. Why was she being like this again? What set her off?

Someone was sent to get him but he just said he had something more important to do. Then the messenger mentioned Klbkch and suddenly all Relc saw was red.

It was not his most glorious moment to burst into the barracks with his spear in hand to challenge Klbkch and loudly demand to know what the ant had done to his daughter. 

Klbkch defended himself, and his two swords met Relc’s spear while an area cleared around them. The Antinium never raised his voice, but he did answer every question Klbkch threw at him. Klbkch denied harming Ashe in any way, and he apologized if his words somehow upset her. Relc should have known better, but he _hated_ feeling helpless, hated having to relive Ashe’s first week of life, and not even the Watch Captain yelling at him made him stop. No, Relc only stopped when the third apology left Klbkch’s weird mouth, followed by a request that Relc stop.

The Captain suspended him for a week when Relc wouldn’t explain why he had attacked Klbkch, and only Klbkch’s insistence that he held no ill will against Relc kept him on the Watch. After being banished from the barracks, Relc left and stalked home.

It was on the way home that the scent of cooked food reached him, reminding him that he hadn’t eaten yet that day, and also hammering home that Ashe was on some kind of food strike again. He bought food for himself, and then he bought food to bring home to Ashe. All day now he’s been trying to entice her out of her mental fog, trying to lure her back to the world of the living, but she just continues staring at nothing in silence.

Relc didn’t know what to do.

* * *

**Goals**

Klbkchhezeim of the Free Antinium had a goal that stood above all others. Below that ultimate goal were others, most of them in pursuit of that ultimate goal. Currently he was preoccupied with building a better view of the Antinium within Liscor and so far his efforts have shown results in the fact that he was voted into Liscor’s Watch.

However, there was now a wrinkle in his plans. Attempting to build a rapport with Relc Grasstongue had unexpectedly backfired, though not due to anything the Drake himself had done. No, somehow Klbkch upset his daughter’s mental balance, plunging her into an unresponsive despair that her father could not shake her from. But what was it that Klbkch said?

He suspects the current situation resulted from Ashe Grasstongue hearing of the Antinium’s main food source: paste. The foodstuff in question is far from tasty, but it serves its purpose. For as long as he can remember—and that is a _long_ time—paste has always been part of the Antinium’s Hives. Regular foodstuffs rots too quickly and is too cumbersome to acquire, store, and prepare. In Rhir, they had more variety to their diet, but here in Izril paste was the norm.

Klbkch paused as his stomach clenched in pain. He made a memo to himself that bread did not agree with his Antinium digestive system.

Relc was currently banished from the Watch, and this was the second day. From what he could remember from the wars, Drakes could only live so long without water or food. They died quicker if they lacked water, though, usually late in the third day, and usually by the fourth. Unless Relc was forcing water down his daughter’s throat, she was going to perish soon.

Ashe is Relc’s offspring. Klbkch remembers that more than one Drake or Gnoll during the wars would scream vengeance for a fallen family member, and if he remembered correctly, he heard parents more than children, though there were also siblings and other family members. If Ashe were to die, Klbkch rather thought that the Drake would not be inclined to form a bond of any sort with him.

Therefore, he must offer his aid in this time of trial. Klbkch knows that he might fail, but he would rather try and fail than do nothing and still fail.

Thus, he acquired Relc’s address and set off after signing out for the day. From what he heard, Relc was currently buying different forms of food and taking it home. Klbkch supposed that he was trying to entice Ashe into eating again, which was a valid strategy.

Walking through the streets of Liscor, Klbkch couldn’t help but remember something. Thought rare, there will be times when healthy Workers will curl up and refuse to move. He no longer involves himself in such situations, not after the first three times since there are always more Workers, but he remembers trying to get them to move again. Nothing he did could make the Worker move again, not even amputation, hence he no longer wasted his time on such situations.

Would Ashe refuse to ever move again? What could be said to motivate such a person?

Unable to think of anything at the moment, Klbkch stopped to purchase a chunk of cheese before continuing on his way.

His current goal: continue his attempts to form a bond with the strongest guardsman in Liscor.

* * *

**Live**

Relc is haggard when he opens the door, and his scales in the stages of beginning to flake and curl. Klbkch held up the cheese.

“I have heard of your efforts. May I help?”

The Drake looks on the verge of slamming the door in his face, but then he sighs and opens the door further. “You can try. Dead gods know I haven’t had any luck…”

Klbkch closes the door behind him as he enters the apartment. It is small, and there is a sense of hopelessness in the air. Walking down the short hall, Relc vaguely gestured to a door. “She’s in there. I’ll be in the kitchen.”

The door in question is open, and he can see the bed within. Ashe’s feet are pointing towards the door, and she is currently resting on her left side. Sidling into the small room, he carefully made his way over to her.

“Good evening, Ashe.” He lowered the cheese near her face. “I have brought you cheese.”

There is no reaction, and after a moment he moved the cheese away while staring down at her. He remembers the silence of the Workers who curled up to die, and he feels annoyance. Workers who did so did not, at large, disrupt the business of the Hive, but Ashe had a great effect on Relc, a Drake (reluctantly) acknowledged as the current strongest in the Watch. If she were to die, Klbkch did not know how Relc would react, though he doubted much good would come of it.

When he spoke, his voice reflected nothing of his annoyance.

“You are worrying your father. Relc has not come to work since you have become like this.”

Nothing.

Klbkch would not resort to violence. He knew the Relc would fight him, possibly to the death, if he so much as nicked Ashe.

“Did my mention of paste upset you?”

Her claw twitched.

Ah, so it did have something to do with the Hive staple.

“Why would paste upset you? As a Drake, I am sure you haven’t had to resort to such a foodstuff.” He glanced around the room, full of cold food and piled plates. “From what I see, your father would provide any food you want, if only you will get up.”

Nothing again.

“Paste.”

Nothing this time.

“Paste. Paste. _Paste._ ”

He pressed the cheese against her mouth and got a violent twitch as she moved her head away.

“This is not paste. This is cheese. Do you understand? You need never eat paste. You need never see or smell it. There is food, Ashe Grasstongue. _Sit up and eat._ ”

She clenched a claw against her bed and closed her eyes.

“I was a slave once.”

His antennae twitched at the sound of her voice. He should… no, he will wait a few moments more before calling Relc.

“I had to live on paste.”

A slave who had to live on paste? Impossible. Relc speaks often of his daughter, and no where did he ever mention having to rescue her from slavers. Such a tale would surely have been told as the Drake wasn’t one for modesty. Relc went as far as telling anyone who would listen that he scared off the bullies at the Runner’s Guild from harassing his daughter. If he would boast about defeating Runners, surely he would do the same about slavers.

“It was awful, but there was no other choice. My brother…”

No. Relc had twin daughters, a rarity among Drakes. Ashe had a sister, not a brother.

“Some days, I didn’t want to go on… But he was there. He made me go on, for him.”

Her eyes opened, cleared and narrowed in anger.

“ _I hate paste._ ”

“You need never eat it.”

She flinched, as though she had forgotten that he was there. But she sat up, even if it was to back away.

Klbkch leaned over the bed and reached for her claws. She did not scream as he took her claws and put the cheese in them.

“Eat, Ashe Grasstongue, and live. Perhaps you did have a brother. Perhaps you did live as a slave who ate paste. But, here and now, you are a free Drake, a daughter to a father who bought all this for you in hopes that you would live.”

He gestured to the food spread out and crowding her small bedroom. He watched as tears welled up in her eyes and slowly trickled down her face.

“He bought all this… for me?”

He nodded. “And fought me when he thought I was responsible for your state. I suppose in a way that I was, but I assure you that such was not my intention.”

She whipped her head in his direction, croaking, “He _fought you?_ ”

“In the barracks,” he confirmed. “He has been suspended from his duties until the end of the week. All this, Ashe, for your sake.”

* * *

**Secret**

You can’t stop the tears that come, but when Klbkch moves to leave, you ask him to wait.

“Don’t tell him.”

Klbkch tilted his head slightly. “Do not tell him what?”

You lowered your head. “Everything I said. I haven’t… he doesn’t know, and I don’t want him to know.”

He antennae slowly twitched. “I will agree to this, if you tell me the whole story.”

You want to refuse, you want to yell at him, but he already suspects and you’ve already said stuff.

( _you’re tired of being the only one who remembers Suzuki_ )

In the end, you nod your agreement.

He leaves, and it’s less than a minute before Relc bursts in, scales flaking as he yells your name, making you swallow the cheese in your mouth in surprise, almost not chewed at all. Your father can’t seem to decide relief and anger as his massive arms wrap around you. This gets you a close up of his flaking scales, and you want to comment, but yours aren’t in much better shape so you keep your mouth shut.

While eating the cheese, you find that you are, in fact, ravenous, so you eat some of the food in the room and resolutely refuse to think of your brother. Relc quickly discovers that he’s hungry too, and, feeling guilty about your episode, you let him eat some of your food.

It’s not enough, so Relc drags you out of the apartment, ignoring your protests that washing should come first, and it isn’t long before the two of you are in a tavern eating hot food.

To eat is to live.

To live is to protect your father from grief.

You will eat.

( _Klbkch left quietly, and neither of you remembered him for almost a day_

* * *

**Burgers**

Relc isn’t one for budgeting or saving, so with the week’s suspension means a week with no pay. Having spent almost the last of it on yesterday’s feast at the tavern, all the Grasstongue household has left is the coin you earned and saved from your Runner’s job. Relc is off looking for a temporary job while you are at home disposing of the food in the room that you refuse to eat for practical reasons (ugh, the _smell_ ).

When you finish, you clean the apartment and open the windows to let in fresh air. The sense of life returns to your home, but you still feel guilty about the past two days. Relc has wrangled a promise from you that you will never do that again, and you really hope you will keep that promise, but while he seems satisfied with that, you want to do something for him.

Your father isn’t a complicated man, and you know that he likes drinking, fighting, and food. You don’t like it when he drinks excessively because he complains a lot when he’s hungover, and you’re not a good fighter, so that left food. You had been toying with the idea of trying to recreate food you learned about on the internet from Before, back when ingredients didn’t cost a fortune, and you thought you could recreate some of those foods. Making new food would be a way to start making amends, so with that thought in mind, you left the apartment and headed to one of the Market Streets.

Drakes and the occasional Gnoll called out to you, saying it was good to see you up and around, and maybe now your father wouldn’t rush around looking frantic while starting fights with Antinium. Blushing in embarrassment, you answered some of them politely and ignored others. They exaggerated as you knew full well that Relc only picked a fight with Klbkch who didn’t hold it against him.

Still, you were glad to return to your apartment. Laden with bags, you headed to the kitchen and prepared to start cooking. Now, you weren’t nearly as terrible at cooking as Relc was, but that didn’t mean you were particularly good at it either. You had never been offered the [Cook] class and if you were you planned to reject it as things were unchanged and you only wanted your two current classes.

You would try making a ‘burger’ as that seemed simple enough. Relc wasn’t a huge fan of vegetables, so you would exclude the lettuce and tomatoes you often saw in pictures. In fact, this was going to be a ‘cheeseburger’ with a meat patty, cheese, and bacon strips. If you had time, you would attempt to make ‘ketchup’, so you had tomatoes anyway.

Eating your first attempt was a fantasy come true. A glorious, oily, meaty, fantasy come true!

( _he came home to a delicious smell wafting from his open apartment window and a curious crowd hanging around outside, and he may have gloated down at the crowd while praising his daughter’s talents, though he was annoyed when he saw imitations of her special food the very next day_ )

* * *

**Recipes**

For the rest of the week, you made food you had only read about: meatball pasta, meat and potato hand pockets, potato and cheese pierogis, potato fries, and even pizza! The experiments ate a good chunk of your savings, but it was worth it to see your father happily eating. You would spend the day trying to make a recipe you only read about, and he would come home to something new. The pizzas were rectangular rather than circular, but that was a small detail, and Relc didn’t know any better anyway.

He was honestly disappointed when you announced that since he was going to be back on the Watch that you were going to return to your job at the Runner’s Guilt. His tail had drooped and he muttered that he could easily get kicked off duty again, but you just swatted at his arm and told him to go back to work. Besides, you would cook again sometimes.

“I should have asked before, but did you get the [Cook] class?”

You shook your head. “No.”

He grumbled. “You should’ve. This week has been amazing. There was a crowd outside again!”

You felt a little bad about that, but it’s not like you can feed them all.

“Should I sell my recipes?”

Relc knocked back a mug of juice and looked thoughtful. “Well, someone would probably buy them.” He glared and muttered under his breath about thieves. He looked back at you. “Maybe try Torg.” He paused, tail slowly swishing. “…Actually, let _me_ talk to Torg.”

Poor Torg.

* * *

**Relief**

Life returns to normal as he rejoins the Watch and his daughter goes back to being a Runner. His reputation as an overprotective father grows, but it’s true, so he doesn’t care about that. He laughs and loudly apologizes to Klbkch in the barracks, and there are witnesses to the Antinium saying he bears no ill will and is glad that Ashe is well again. That’s probably why he gets stuck with the Antinium as a partner again, but since Klb is the one who brought Ashe around, Relc doesn’t mind as much as before.

He doesn’t mind at all, really. Klb’s a good guy.

( _Klb saved Ashe_ )

He gets stuck on a patrol outside the city, but on the way out, he sees Ashe running down a street, bulging backpack on her back, and something settles in his chest.

( _Ashe isn’t fading away again_ )

Everything is okay.


	5. Chapter 5

**Cheese**

Relc is now under the delusion that cheese is your favorite thing in the world. He believes this because that is what Klbkch gave to you when the Antinium talked some sense into you. Of course, since the conversation between yourself and Klbkch was something you wanted to keep secret, you couldn’t exactly correct your father and tell him that no, cheese wasn’t your favorite thing in the world. Thus, whenever he brought you cheese, you merely smiled and thanked him instead of trying to correct him.

Honestly, though, thinking cheese was your favorite thing made Relc lazy when it came to giving you presents. Birthdays and specials occasions almost always meant cheese as a gift from him from that point on…

* * *

**Hawk**

There was a particular Rabbit Beastkin in the Runner’s Guild, one of very few Beastkin in the whole city. His name was Hawk and he was your senior at the guild. He was an anthropomorphic rabbit, with two long, floppy ears, stuck out over his head and he had a fuzzy tail. His fur was light brown with dark spots, one of which was over one of his eyes. He had five levels more than you did in the [Runner] class, though the gap between you two had lessened significantly since you first joined.

You didn’t mind Hawk most of the time, really. He was a good-natured guy and well-liked. It’s just…

“Hey, Ashe! I made carrot bread. Want some?”

He kept trying to feed you carrots! And you think he’s flirting? Maybe? You’re only thirteen so you’re not really sure, not to mention you didn’t exactly have experience from Before so again, you weren’t entirely sure of the signals he was sending. For now, you were treating him as an overly friendly co-worker you had to appease so that you wouldn’t lose your job.

You didn’t mind vegetables too much. Relc wasn’t really a fan of them, but considering your life Before, you didn’t dislike vegetables as much as Drakes usually did since, hey, fresh food. But Hawk, he just kept pushing carrots on you! Carrot juice, carrot soup, raw carrots, steamed carrots, and now carrot bread!

“Just… just a little?”

“Great! You’ll love it!”

You aren’t trying to string him along. You’re just trying to be nice and polite. Really! But if this keeps up you might just yell at him.

No, don’t yell at _senpai_. You’re probably going to need his help if you want to reach Courier status.

“Hey, Ashe. Would you like to watch the sunset with me? I know a great place.”

“I… you do know I’m only thirteen?”

His pink nose twitched. “Whoa. Really? And you’re already level 14?” He smiled. “You’re amazing! Look, I’m only three years older than you. We can work!”

You gave him a dead stare. “You are a sixteen-year-old trying to date a thirteen-year-old. I refuse.”

He didn’t seem deterred. “Then how about in a couple years?”

Persistent, isn’t he.

You sighed. “I’ll think about it.”

“Great!”

As you watched him leave to talk to one of the female receptionists, you couldn’t help but shake your head.

You’d never seriously date a flirt like that. Besides, he’s not even a Drake! You weren’t lying to Relc when you said you wanted a hatchling of your own someday, so sorry _senpai_ , you just didn’t see a future with him.

* * *

**Overprotective**

“Dad?”

“What?”

“What would you do if someone tried to date me?”

“I don’t care who it is, I’ll beat him up. You’re thirteen, Ashe. I’m not letting you go until you’re at least eighteen. So I have five more years of your cooking before I’ll even think of letting some Drake take you away.”

“Aha, so you’re selfishly hanging on to me for my cooking.”

“Mostly.”

“You are shameless.”

“I was a soldier and I’ve dug more holes for latrines than I can remember. I couldn’t care less about shame.”

“To my continued embarrassment.”

“That’s shame speaking there. Don’t worry about it, Ashe. I don’t.”

“Hm. Hey, dad.”

“What?”

“What if he’s not a Drake?”

“…I’ll probably murder him. Especially if he’s a flesh sack.”

“Dad!”

“You’re laughing. You agree.”

“Well…”

* * *

**Revealed**

It had taken some time for you to be alone with Klbkch again. Neither of you had forgotten the agreement between you two, though finding time for discussion had taken some doing. Right now, the two of you sat in the apartment you lived in with Relc while the Drake in question was out at a bar. The three of you had been out eating dinner and when Relc started drinking Klbkch offered to walk you home. Relc didn’t think anything of it and thus you were alone with Klbkch for the first time in weeks.

“So,” you said awkwardly into the silence. You had set up cups and a pitcher of water on the table.

“I believe the time has come,” Klbkch said. “You promised the whole story in exchange for my silence.”

You nodded at his reminder, but it was still hard to start. How did you even begin…?

“Well, as you know, I am the second of Relc’s daughters. I have an elder twin named Embria. We were born amongst the Liscorian Army.” Your grip tightened around the cup in front of you. “However, as you may have already gleaned from my ramblings back then, this is not my first life. I have the class [Reincarnate] and it gave me the skill [Perfect Recall]. I can recall anything from my past life and that includes the memories of my main foodstuff, that being various _pastes_.”

Your face twisted in distaste for a moment before you smoothed your expression.

“I had a twin then as well, an elder brother whom I love very much. His name… is my treasure. I’m sorry, Klbkch, but I won’t be telling you that.”

( _because Klbkch wouldn’t_ care _that your brother’s name was Suzuki_ )

The Antinium nodded. “Hm.” He asked, “You mentioned you were a slave?”

You winced. “Yes, we were. We had no autonomy and had no alternative but to obey the higher powers who ruled the land. We were forced to work hard and we had no access to fresh food. We were lucky to have water and even that was strictly rationed.”

You shook your head. “There was an accident on my way to my work site. I… I died. My only consolation was that my brother worked at a different site and therefore wasn’t among us who were caught in the accident. I was over thirty years old at the time but had neither spouse nor children.”

Klbkch was curious. “Do you know where in the world you were during your past life? I know that slavery is mostly practiced in Chandrar.”

And here’s the subject you hoped wouldn’t come up. Nervously, you held your silence for a long moment before admitting something you hadn’t told anyone before.

“It wasn’t this world.”

You sensed him shifting but you didn’t look at him.

“Please explain. What do you mean by your statement?”

Sighing, you tried to explain. “I mean that my previous life wasn’t in this world. My first world was dying. The air was choked with smog and the land and water were poisoned. The rich lived in luxury while others like myself and my brother worked to the bone just to survive. The poor were slaves, Klbkch, and the rich didn’t care that we died in droves.”

Silence filled the apartment.

“ _First_ world? Is this your second world?”

…Was it? After all, wasn’t Yggdrasil like a second life?

* * *

**Lie**

You tilted your head. Yggdrasil had nine worlds, several of which you visited, so…

You shook your head. “No. This is… not my second world, or my third world, though it is my third life.” You saw him tilt his head questioningly. “Let me explain.” You tapped your fingers, rapidly thinking. “In this life and my first life, there was only one world. However, in my second life, there were nine worlds, nine realms, really, though I didn’t visit all of them.”

( _[Deception]_ )

You gave a short laugh, lying to Klbkch and wondering if he would call you out on it.

“I died first, but my brother was called to the next life first. He was… he became an undead, a skeletal mage. He became an Elder Lich before calling me to his side again. He helped me choose a form, and I chose one that was his opposite.” 

( _[Deception]_ )

You smiled as you remembered logging in for the first time and seeing Suzuki’s avatar waiting for you. 

“I was an angel. A female humanlike being with wings,” you clarified, remembering that angels weren’t a thing in this world. “He gave me free reign on what I would be, so long as it was long-lived, and that was what I chose.

( _[Deception]_ )

“He had friends, beings that would be considered monsters in this world. They were powerful and formed a guild, a place to call home. We were happy, all of us.”

The happy reminiscence fell away from you.

“As I am here, I’m sure you know what my fate was. I was reborn here, but I missed my brother. I missed him so much I wanted to die so that I could go in search of him. I starved myself, and my mother, Veryl, didn’t try very hard to make me drink. Embria was too young to care. Relc was the only one who earnestly tried to make me stay. He… he cried, and I decided to stay so that he wouldn’t. I couldn’t sense my brother anymore, so there was no guarantee I would find him again. Relc, though? Relc was right there, and he loved his child enough to cry for her. I couldn’t do anything about my own pain, but I could help alleviate his, so I decided to live for him.”

You shrugged. “And here we are. Questions?”

Klbkch nodded. “I have many.”

Geh.

* * *

**Suspicion**

There is something about Ashe’s words that aren’t ringing true, but his [Detect Guilt] wasn’t alerting him to any lies. Either everything Ashe said was true or she was somehow bypassing his detection skill. Regardless, he was willing to believe that some of what she said was true. After all, life as a slave who ate paste certainly seemed like a reason for her episode a couple months ago.

“The new foods you’ve been making, are they from your first or second life?”

“Both,” she replied. “However, I’ve been recreating foods based mainly on things I heard about in my first life, luxuries that used to be commonplace before the world was poisoned. I could only dream then, but as Ashe I have access to fresh food thus I have been experimenting.”

“I see.” He drank some water and lowered his cup. “You have said that you won’t tell me your brother’s name. Would you be inclined to tell me your name from your previous lives?”

Her eyes widened slightly in surprise. “Oh… Well, I had two, one for each life. My names were (Name) and Momocha, respectively. With this life, I’ll be adding Ashe Grasstongue to that list.”

From what she said so far, she migrates worlds with each death.

“Do you know if you have any control over your transmigrations after each death?”

She slowly shook her head. “No, I don’t think so. But then, I’ve never tried. If I had died as an infant, I would have desired to return to the world where my brother was so that I could be in his reach again, but I was uncertain if I could do so. This uncertainty kept me from trying, though I don’t know if it will when I die in this life.”

Klbkch tilted his head. “If you could, would you not stay in this world for Relc?”

She hesitated. “I… I don’t know. I guess it depends on how old he is when I die, and if I have any control over how soon I’m reborn in the same world. I… I don’t know if he would accept me in a different body.” Liquid slowly welled in her eyes. “I’m not sure if he would accept me even now if he found out about the stuff I’m telling you. That… that terrifies me. I’m only here because of him and if he suddenly rejected me as his daughter… I don’t know what I would do.”

Relc _did_ have a temper, though Klbkch has yet to see him direct it solely at Ashe for any reason. At most they argue about her safety and the precautions he wants her to take, but Klbkch has yet to see Relc truly get angry at Ashe. He cannot clearly picture a scenario where Relc would abandon Ashe, not when it is common knowledge that Relc is both a pushover and overprotective when it comes to his daughter.

“I do not understand the complexities of Drake familial relations. I do know there are cases wherein Drakes will be outcast from their families, but I am also aware that there are Drakes who will risk everything for their families. I believe Relc is more of the latter, if it is any comfort.”

She sniffed. “A little…”

Klbkch drank more water as he mulled over everything he had learned.

Ashe was in possession of a class he had never heard of before. What did [Reincarnate] do? So far, all he knew for certain was that it granted the skill [Perfect Recall]. Did it level with each life she lived? If so, would that make her level 2 or 3 right now?

Still, with [Prefect Recall] she was recreating luxury foods for the rich. Could she do the same with weapons? Ah, but if she had access to weaponry, she might not have been a slave. Or rather, since she was a slave, access to weaponry was limited, if granted at all in any form. The same went with medicine, he supposed.

Perhaps all Ashe was… is that she is a mere curiosity. Currently she didn’t have much value to the Hive beyond being Relc Grasstongue’s daughter. Still, there was no need to be rude.

Politeness, after all, had its place and use.

* * *

**Experimentation**

Klbkch left not long after, and you gratefully collapsed into your bed. Talking about your past life (lives) was more exhausting then you thought it would be. Probably because you lied about Yggdrasil being a separate life. But whatever! It was done.

At least now you weren’t the only one who knew this wasn’t your first life.

Although Klbkch did bring up something that stuck in your mind. _Could_ you choose the world you were born in? This was only your second life and the first life with the [Reincarnate] class, so you wouldn’t know until your death came.

Well, you hoped you wouldn’t have to find out for quite a long while yet. Life with Relc wasn’t life with Suzuki, but it had its own charm.

You didn’t want to let go just yet.

* * *

**Offer**

Hawk called you over to his table and you took a seat across from him.

“I heard you’re trying to be a Courier.”

There was no point in denying that, so you nodded.

“Same here,” Hawk confessed. He gestured to the Runner’s Guild. “But, I’m sure you’ve noticed it by now, haven’t you?”

Of course you had. Drake cities were too far apart for City Runners so there weren’t many in Liscor. Also, because Runners were mostly restricted to Liscor and the nearby farms, most of the Runners were low-levels. You and Hawk weren’t the norm as both of you had higher levels than average.

You nodded. “There isn’t much room for growth here.”

Hawk smacked a paw against the table. “Exactly! Me, I’ve been leveling by running around outside the walls, avoiding the monsters and such, but even that’s slowing down in how much it helps me. Soon I won’t have much choice but to head out beyond Liscor towards the Walled Cities. When that happens, it’s going to be quite a while before I come back to Liscor. Sooo, since we have the same goal, I thought, well, maybe you would like to come along?”

Eying him suspiciously, he didn’t seem to have any ill intent beyond his ill-disguised wish to continue flirting with you and/or courting you. Then again, maybe that was just your paranoia and he was just trying to be helpful to a fellow Liscorian.

Biting your lip, you asked, “When would we be leaving?”

He brightened. “I’ll be level 20 soon, but you’re still at 14, right?” He continued when you nodded. “In that case, I’d like you to be at least level sixteen before we head to Pallass. I’ll help you out with that, if you’d like.”

You made a face. That meant running around monsters out in the floodplains and while you were willing to do that in the name of leveling your Runner class…

“I’d like that, but first…” You grimaced. “First I have to ask my dad.”

* * *

**Permission**

“No.”

“It’s the only way I’m going to level up. Running in the city takes too long, even with the deliveries to the nearby farms.”

“Where is this Hawk? The bunny Beastkin, right?”

“Don’t beat up my senior, dad. He’s trying to help me.”

“He’s trying to run away with you is what he’s doing! I won’t have it! Do you hear me?”

“The whole street can hear you.”

“The whole street can drop dead!”

“Leave the bystanders out of this.”

“You’re not going. You’re not even a [Spear Drake]!”

“I don’t want other classes. I want to focus on my Runner class. Dad, you know I want to be a Courier.”

“…”

“Hawk can help me. I know he can. Don’t be the reason this chance gets away from me. I’ll resent you.”

“…I’m still talking to this Runner friend of yours.”

“Hawk isn’t responsible for my safety out there.”

“ _The hell he isn’t!_ ”

* * *

**Training**

Training out in the floodplains meant teasing monsters into chasing you so you could outrun them. Currently you were running circles around a small group of Goblins with Hawk running beside you.

“You have a scary father.”

“I’m sorry about that, by the way.”

The memory of Relc slamming a hand against the wall near Hawk’s head was… quite clear.

“I know. I heard you the first time.” The Rabbit Beastkin tapped your shoulder, indicating it was time to leave the Goblins. As he led the way further into the floodplains, he panted. “Is he always like that when it comes to you? I mean, I heard about those three males, but I don’t think I really believed it.”

“Oh, yeah, he’s… just like that.” You wanted to shrug. “It’s embarrassing, but it kind of makes me happy.”

“Is that the kind of male you’re looking for?”

You thought about it. “Kind of? Like, I want someone big, and strong, and someone who is nice to me.”

Hawk was silent for a moment as you climbed a hill. As you crested the top, he spoke between breaths.

“I don’t know about big, but I definitely think I can manage the last two.”

Smirking, you smacked his shoulder as you began descending the hill. “You said two years, Hawk.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, I guess I did.” He put a spring in his step. “Come on! Let’s find some Razorbeaks for you to outrun!”

* * *

**Swiftly**

Hawk had been level 20 for only a couple weeks when you finally hit level 16. When you told him the news, he was impressed and slightly confused by how that was possible.

He shook his head. “I swear you level up faster than anyone I know.” He clapped his paws together. “All right! We leave in tomorrow! Pack light, but pack smart. Our goal is to become Couriers, but right now we’re a couple of nearly talentless shmucks and we’re going to have to be careful out there. We’re likely to be gone for quite a while, so make sure you’re mentally prepared for that.”

You nodded and parted ways, planning to meet up at the Runner’s Guild first thing in the morning.

Relc, despite knowing that this day had been coming, did not take it well.

“I’ll starve!”

You scoffed as you walked home. Relc was skipping his patrol to trail after you. “We both know perfectly well that most of the taverns in Liscor will accept your coin, dad. You won’t starve.”

“I’ll die of loneliness!”

You softened. “No you won’t.” A face came to mind, and you grinned. “You’ll have Klbkch to get on your nerves.”

He grumbled. “Don’t remind me.” He whined as he followed you back home. “Ashe, do you have to go? I’ll worry the whole time you’re gone.”

“I want to be a Courier,” you reminded him. “This is my best shot at it. I can’t let it slip away, because I don’t think I’d have the courage to go alone.”

“Aha! You admit that you’re scared to be out there alone. So don’t go. Stay in Liscor, get a job cooking somewhere, and settle down when I’m dead.”

You burst out laughing. Relc really didn’t like the idea of you getting married and moving out. “Dad!”

Shaking your head, you saw the apartment come into view. Glancing over your shoulder, you asked wryly, “Don’t you have a patrol to get back to?”

He muttered, slowing to a stop. “Yeah…” Snapping his head up, he pointed at you. “I want pizza, meatballs and pasta, and burgers!”

He blinked when you held out a claw. “Coin, dad. I need to save mine for the journey.”

He grumbled but dug the coins out of his pouch.

Taking his money, you chirped happily. “See you this evening, dad.”

He sighed as you turned and skipped away.

( _this day came too soon_ )

* * *

**Departure**

Dinner with Relc was a noisy affair with a multitude of questions thrown at you, most of which pertained to what you packed for your journey. He was a complete mothering hen between stuffing his gob with your cooking. You don’t truly dislike that about him, not when he’s the only real father figure you know.

Relc, despite being a late sleeper, managed to pry himself out of bed early that morning for both breakfast and to say goodbye. Breakfast was, of course, cooked by you, though when you said goodbye at the door, you don’t know why you thought that was the end of it.

No, there was Relc (and Klbkch) at the gate, waiting for you and Hawk to leave. If Hawk put you between himself and Relc, well, you could understand.

“Hi, dad.”

“Hi, kid.”

“Bye, dad.”

“Wait, Ashe.”

You stopped obligingly and peered up at him. Even at thirteen, you were still shorter than him, something you suspected would always be the case. 

“What?”

You really should have expected something of the sort, but you were still startled when Relc swept you into his arms for a tight hug.

“You be careful out there, alright? Don’t pick fights you can’t win and don’t be afraid to run away. They say Drakes don’t run, but I’d want you to if it means you come home, okay?”

Feeling your throat swell, you nodded with suspiciously wet eyes. “Okay. I will.”

Relc let go but didn’t release you just yet. With his claw on your shoulders, he glared over your head at your traveling companion.

“Hawk.”

“Y-yes, sir?”

“If she dies, don’t bother coming back.”

“Ah, o-okay…”

( _maybe he bit off a little more than he could chew when he set his sights on Ashe Grasstongue_ )

“Threatening civilians is not condoned by the Watch.”

“Stuff it, Klb.”

The Antinium turned his gaze to you. “I hope you have a productive journey and return safely, Ashe.”

You smiled in response. “Thanks, Klbkch.” You raised a hand and ran after Hawk who was jogging away. “I’m off! Dad, air out my room once in a while! Klbkch, keep being you!”

They waved.

You ran after Hawk, but until Liscor was completely out of sight, you kept looking back at the top of every hill and waving.

Dad and Klbkch were there each time you looked back, and when the moment finally came when Liscor was out of sight the next time you looked back, you couldn’t help the tears that welled up in your eyes.

You could still turn back and run home to Relc, but that would mean giving up on being a Courier. You want to see more of this world, but you want to be able to outrun its dangers, so you can’t turn back now. 

Keeping your eyes on Hawk’s back, you keep your feet moving despite the heavy feeling that makes you want to stop.

This isn’t for forever. You’ll come back home one day, and while it is inevitable that you will leave time and again, you’ll always come home to your father.

The thought of reunion and of growing into your own strengths makes you smile and steadies your pace.

( _you don’t register the fact that ‘home’ is now wherever Relc is_ )

* * *

**Is it possible for home to be a person and not a place?**

**~Stephanie Perkins, Anna and the French Kiss**


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote this chapter so many times and I've finally gotten past that writer's block. TvT

**Anguish**

_“Momocha is dead.”_

It has been more than two years since Lord Momonga uttered those terrible words, but for some reason, it suddenly feels as though that fact has only just hit home.

Lady Momocha is gone, and not even Lord Momonga can bring her back.

( _he **begs** , yet he keeps returning alone_)

Shaking, Pandora’s Actor felt his knees slowly give out under him. His current position allowed him to sit heavily upon the couch behind him, but his descent did not stop there as he bent forward until his head was in his hands, his hat knocked askew.

_Momocha is dead. Momocha is dead. **Momocha is dead.**_

A horribly empty void tore open inside him as Lord Momonga’s words echoed in his mind. Suddenly, Pandora’s Actor recalled the many times that Lord Momonga had come to him and ordered him to take Lady Momocha’s form. The undead overlord could not shed tears, but Pandora’s Actor remembered the heavy grief in his creator’s voice as he pleaded for his sister to return to him.

_“Don’t leave me alone. Come back… Come back…!”_

Lord Momonga had even gone as far as to promise to forsake Nazarick itself if only she would return to him. If that had been what brought Lady Momocha back, Pandora’s Actor would gladly accept his lord’s abandonment, a far preferable fate to his lady’s death ( _his lord’s sister_ ). At least then those two would be alive and together, rather than separated forever as they were now.

( _he could feel the weight of his creator’s grief_ )

His great lord and his beloved lady… what caused this tragedy? Lord Momonga never said how she died, only that it was fact. Pandora’s Actor surmised that her dead had been quick and unexpected, and someone or something had interfered, because what else but outside interference could keep ‘Revival Angel’ Momocha dead?

( _he **loved** her, that most precious treasure he never attained_ )

Doppelgangers do not shed tears in their true forms, but they have hearts that can break just the same.

* * *

**Disconsolate**

Cash and Gold were low-level, human-faced doppelgangers dressed like European nobility of old. They were aware that of the Supreme Beings who had left Nazarick, their creator, the Lady Momocha, was confirmed deceased.

_“My sister… my sister is dead, little ones. Do you know what that means? It means she won’t be back.” Lord Momonga deigned to give them a glance by that point, his already grief laden voice lowering to a hoarser tone. “You were her dream, you know. A dream she wouldn’t reach for, knowing what our world was like. It wasn’t safe enough for to consider…” He shook his head. “Stay here, as you have always done. Pretend… pretend that she is only away for a while and will be home eventually…”_

Was that how Lord Momonga coped with his dear sister’s death? By pretending she was only away for a while?

Why… why did he have to tell them the truth? Why couldn’t he have just lied to them and said she just left like the rest? Thinking they were abandoned would be infinitely easier to deal with than knowing she was _gone forever._

“Lady Momocha, Lady Momocha…!”

Cash clutched his sister as she cried into his stomach. Lady Momocha’s grand quarters gleamed and shone around them, but it was empty and bitterly cold for her absence. Knowing that her presence would never again grace these walls was almost unbearably painful. Knowing what they did of their creator’s fate, only Lord Momonga’s orders kept them from doing something drastic, and even then they had to remind themselves that he was their Lady’s brother, the one who had been closest to her. Lady Momocha would have wanted them to obey her brother ( _to stay with him when she could not_ ).

Listening to his sister cry and feeling tears of his own dripping rapidly down his face, Cash knew there was little comfort he could give her. All he could do was be with her, as he always was.

( _they were twins too, Lord Momonga and Lady Momocha, and her death was a pain that Lord Momonga carried around, an aching, unhealed wound they heard in his voice and neither Cash nor Gold could conceive life without the other, but then, the Supreme Beings had always been unreachable and beyond their realm of understanding_ )

* * *

**Delay**

In the end, Momonga was delayed in choosing who to send because of a development outside. Aura, instructed to protect Mare while he hid Nazarick and made dummy hills, contacted him via Message and informed him that she had captured two lizard men (who then apparently yelled at her to say they were Drakes and not disgusting lizard men). As the discovery was much too soon, Momonga immediately went outside to see if he could alter the Drakes’ memories.

The memory-altering magic worked, but it was very MP-intensive. Watching the slightly groggy Drakes stumbled off to where they were supposed to be going, Momonga urged Mare to finish making the dummy hills. While the Dark Elf was working on that, Momonga used magic to conceal the bits of Nazarick that were sticking out of the dummy hill it was hiding in.

Remembering the treasure in the four smaller mausoleums, he sent a Message to Shalltear to fill them up with her undead to prevent thievery. The True Vampire giddily agreed and he thanked her before ending the spell. 

Turning, Momonga stared at the two Drakes in the distance and hoped that no one would come by here for at least a while yet.

* * *

**Averted**

Heading back inside, Momonga used the Mirror of Remote Viewing to find the Drakes he had just released. He watched them for a while, but just as he decided to dismiss them, they spoke to each other and started running. Slightly wary of their sudden decision to run, he kept watching them. Just after sunset, they came to a stop and began watching for someone or something in the distance.

Directing the Mirror of Remote Viewing the way they were staring, Momonga soon found what they were waiting for: soldiers. Those two Drakes were scouts of some kind! Normally one used scouts to check the terrain or dungeon ahead, but these two were waiting for the larger group to arrive as the latter had gone around the red fields. Perhaps those two were checking the general area? There might be something more to the grass outside than just its red color.

Still, Momonga was glad he had chosen to alter the memories of those two rather than kill them. If that had happened, this battalion of Drakes and dog-men might have turned around to face Nazarick rather than continue on to their destination. Hopefully the memory magic was holding up well and that no one noticed and thought to try to break it, as that would be inconvenient for both himself and Nazarick.

* * *

**Shame**

Hiding in his bedroom, Momonga stared up at the canopy above his bed. He didn’t need to sleep, but it was nice to come here and relax. None of the NPCs were here to judge him.

Although speaking of NPCs, Momonga felt his stress levels rising again as he thought of his own NPC Pandora’s Actor, and also of his sister’s twin NPCs Cash and Gold. All three were doppelgangers, though the was a world of difference between their power levels. Although, difference in power levels was not the reason he didn’t want to see any of them.

No, Momonga didn’t want to meet either Pandora’s Actor or Cash and Gold, not when he knows that he expressed grief in front of all three, though the worst of that case was Pandora’s Actor. Rolling around on his bed, Momonga internally howled as he remembered his many visits to Pandora’s Actor.

How could he have been so stupid? Granted, there was no way he could have foreseen his current situation, but still! He should not have cried in front of Pandora’s Actor. He should not have said all those things.

_“I’ll give up anything. I’ll give up Nazarick if you come back. Just please, come back to me.”_

Argh! He promised to give up all of Nazarick if it meant his sister would come back! Well, he still would, even though all the NPCs were apparently alive right now, but that was beside the point ( _would he still?_ ). The point was, he said such a thing in front of an NPC, one of the very beings he would forsake if meant his sister would return to him.

…But would Pandora’s Actor hold it against him? After all, Momonga gave him the backstory that he would fight against all of Nazarick for her sake if he had to. Did that make it so Pandora’s Actor wouldn’t resent being abandoned in a trade if it meant Momocha lived once more?

Mentally sighing, Momonga sat up.

There was probably no use in thinking of such what-if situations. His sister was long gone, and he was here now with a ten-level dungeon full of sentient beings to look after. He would be very busy with his new responsibilities. As heavy as his sister’s absence weighed on him, Momonga couldn’t give up now.

He had his friends’ children to look after.

( _the guild has always helped fill the void inside him_ )

* * *

**Spies**

Ultimately, Momonga decided to wait on sending any of the NPCs directly into the city. Instead, he put Demiurge in charge of gathering information, and the demon did this by using Shadow Demons. The Shadow Demons were first sent to the building outside the city and from there they spread.

The building was an inn, and a Shadow Demon was attached to the innkeeper, a young woman named Erin Solstice. Many people came to her inn, either for food, to see a play, or to talk to her, and the Shadow Demon was in position to hear and summarized any important or informational conversations. In particular, there was a lizard woman, or rather, a Drake, named Drassi who was a barmaid and very gossipy, though over time it became clear she was a reliable source of _accurate_ gossip.

There were ant-like insect men who also frequented the place, and soon a Shadow Demon was attached to one named Klbkch. This proved beneficial as Klbkch was in direct contact with the local Antinium Queen, and the two of them discussed confidential issues related to their ultimate goals.

Of the Drakes, a large one by the name of Relc was largely useless, and his Shadow Demon was soon ordered to switch over to the Watch Captain, Zevara. Another Shadow Demon attached itself to the city strategist, Olesm Swifttail, while another attached to the local Guild Mistress of the Adventurer’s Guild, and one more attached to a member of the city council.

In this manner, slowly, Ainz learned about Liscor and the outside world.

* * *

**Information**

Demiurge was diligent, and he had the Shadow Demons switch out in shifts. One group would relieve the group in Liscor and the inn, while the relieved ones would return to Demiurge to divulge what they had learned. The Seventh Floor Guardian would then compile the information into a report which he would then submit to Momonga. Overall, they were learning about this new world.

However, as he knew it must be someday, it eventually came back to them that Liscor had learned of a suspicious shift in scenery on the Blood Plains. Hills had popped out where no hills had been before, and one Drake had even found that one hill was concealing a ‘new dungeon’.

Technically speaking, Nazarick was built in a former dungeon, so the report wasn’t exactly wrong. Still, it wasn’t pleasant to know that their location had been discovered. Less pleasant still to learn that a scouting party would be coming soon, but Momonga tried to look on the bright side.

Now that hiding was no longer viable, at least the scouts would be useful for extracting information from.

* * *

**Luck**

As he thought, it was pathetically easy to capture the so-called scouts, a five-member team made of three Drakes and two Gnolls. The all-male team was handed over to Neuronist and Demiurge and less forty-eight hours later, Demiurge informed him that all of the adventurers had perished after divulging what information they had.

The report corroborated a lot of what they had already picked up through the Shadow Demons, but the orders they had regarding ‘the new dungeon’ were of interest. Summarized, they were to explore the first floor only and report back on the types of monsters and traps within, as well as if there were any stairs leading to a lower floor. As Shalltear had captured them almost instantly, they were captives and thus unable to return to report their findings.

It was fortunate for Nazarick that in this world it wasn’t uncommon for dungeons to eat teams whole.

* * *

**Comparison**

One more team of scouts was sent to Nazarick—and utterly destroyed—before the Shadow Demons started hearing about it more in Liscor. The dungeon right beneath the city was already too much trouble for them, so they weren’t going to commit any more teams to investigate the new dungeon on the Blood Fields. Thus, Liscor’s council washed its hands of Nazarick.

It was not the end of adventurers, though, as they would come from both Liscor and from further south. Torturing at two adventurers from two separate teams, Momonga was informed of more Drake knowledge, including the fact that Walled Cities were both a thing and something that the Drakes had been completely convinced of, meaning they believed that even Nazarick was no match for a Walled City.

Well, that was just asking for Nazarick to prove its superiority, wasn’t it?

( _or so Demiurge and Albedo insisted, oblivious to Momonga’s internal suffering—because what if he threw his best at the Walled Cities only to have the dead Drakes be proven right?_

_how would the Floor Guardians react if the Guild Master they looked up to proved inadequate to the task?_ )

* * *

**Named**

Momonga read about Nazarick being called the Blood Fields Dungeon in yet another report and decided that he couldn’t stand it anymore. This place that he, his friends, and his sister built together had a name, one that meant something to him. If he was to be stuck in this world for the rest of his life, then there was only one thing he wanted this place to be known as, only one thing that would suffice.

Thus, he changed his name, and the next time Shalltear captured an adventuring team, he had her spare them. 

Albedo’s preparations were ready with everyone lined up on either side of the carpet in the Throne Room. The Floor Guardians stood closest to the Throne without ascending the stairs, and Albedo stood near the throne. Ainz himself sat on the Throne of Kings and wore a magnificent crown.

At his signal, the doors opened and the adventurers were forced forwards by the advancement of the Death Knights behind them. Neuronist, having played her part in torturing at least one member until the team captain finally begged for mercy in return for anything, had made a show of considering the Drake’s desperate plea before ‘agreeing’ to ask her Master. After over an hour of leaving them hanging in her dungeon, she returned to tell them they were so, so lucky: her generous Master would consider it just this once. She ordered them to behave, otherwise a worse death than the one she had planned for them would come to pass, and now, seeing this gathering of monsters, hopefully they knew she wasn’t bluffing.

Demiurge used his Command Mantra on them, though only two of five fell to their knees. Albedo smiled sweetly and ‘advised’ them to kneel. After they slowly sank to their knees and bowed their heads, she spoke again.

“Lord Ainz, this is the team of adventurers from Pallas, the Mist Scales, who seek an audience with you.”

“I would welcome you to my realm, Mist Scales, but you are here without invitation. My subordinate tells me you wish to trade for your lives. In truth, you have nothing I desire, and your lives are nigh worthless.”

The female with horns and wings glanced at him and he answered her silent question.

“Even insects may have their use at times.”

She smiled, “I understand, my Lord.”

Their attention turned back on the Mist Scales and Momon— _Ainz_ continued.

“However, there is one thing you can do to earn your lives back.”

All of the Drakes were shaking, but a part of him wondered if it was from fear, rage, or a combination of both.

“You will spread my name, and the name of my realm. I have heard this place referred to as the Blood Fields Dungeon. That is both wrong… and an insult.”

He flared his Despair Aura for a moment, making the Drakes freeze in terror.

Drawing his aura back, he asked, “Do you accept?”

The Drake leader lifted his gaze. He flinched as nearly every one of his subordinates turned hot or icy glares in his direction, but to his credit, his voice only wavered.

“I-is that all you ask? We-we will not have to betray anyone or bring you treasure?”

Ainz confirmed. “You will spread my name and the name of my realm, from Pallas to every other Walled City in this land. Every time you hear ‘Blood Fields Dungeon’, you will _correct_ the offenders.”

“And I and my team will live?”

“As long as you honor our agreement.”

There was a silent understanding between them that their lives would be forfeit if they reneged.

The leader bowed his head again and fervently promised, “In return for our lives, the Mist Scales swear to spread your name from Pallas to every Drake settlement on Issrysil! From every Walled City to every village, the Mist Scales will spread your name and will correct every incorrect naming for both yourself and your realm! Please, bestow these names upon us for declaration far and wide!”

Ainz let his eyes blaze.

“I am Ainz Ooal Gown, and this is the Great Underground Tomb of Nazarick.”

( _thus did the world learn the real name of the Blood Fields Dungeon, though it meant nothing to anyone… except for one Drake far away from home_ )

* * *

**Names have power.**

**~Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief**


	7. Chapter 7

**Camping**

It was approximately four-hundred miles to Pallass, a not inconsiderable distance when you were only a level 16 [Runner] and… nothing else, really, because [Reincarnate] didn’t offer much. That meant camping out, which at least you knew how to do from the journey from Liscor’s Army to Liscor you had taken with Relc… wow, less than two years ago?

…Okay, maybe Relc really was right to worry about you. After all, here you were at just thirteen after less than two years away from the army and you had already left your father.

Ahh, now you feel guilty…

Still, being three days out, it’s too late to turn back by yourself. Well, you still could, and you _might_ make it back okay, but being a Courier was your goal, even if it means leaving home at a young age like this.

( _to run and see this world, and then to go home to your father_ )

Hawk was also proficient at camping. He had been doing it for longer than you have, so he passed along his knowledge.

Even with running for a better part of each day, rest, eating and other biological necessities were unavoidable. It took almost four weeks to reach Pallass, but when it finally came into view you had to admit that the sight was impressive.

A tall tower rose towards the sky, the closest thing to a skyscraper you had ever seen in this life, but somehow this structure felt different.

“The pride of Drakes,” Hawk said, gesturing to the distant city. He grinned, pink nose twitching.

“Liscor was our starting line, and Pallass is the next stepping stone. Come on, Ashe! The real challenge starts now.”

You let out a shout of surprise and chased after him as he suddenly dashed away.

As the distance shortened and the Walled City loomed closer, you couldn’t help but grin in anticipation.

This was where things would really start!

* * *

**Letter**

Dear Dad,

Happy birthday!

At least, I hope it’s your birthday. I might have missed it, or maybe this letter is early, but I want to make sure you know that I remembered your birthday. I hope you had a happy one.

How are you? Are you eating properly? What am I saying, of course you’re eating properly. Drinking too, I bet.

I am in Pallass for now. Hawk and I started working at the local Runner’s Guild. It is taking ages to learn my way around here, so for now I am taking requests that don’t need to be done in a rush. Hawk is adjusting well, and he remembers things quicker than I do, so he’s doing fine.

I leveled up twice so far. It’s nice.

Things are so different here in Pallass. I can only see the sky through the gap at the top, and a lot of times it feels like I am in a well. They have elevators here, dreadful things that I don’t get on unless I have to. Hawk likes them for some reason.

The Drakes here are so snooty. Sometimes I just want to punch them in the face. I don’t, of course, because I don’t want to lose my job as a [Runner]. Plus, I don’t want the local Watch on my tail.

There was a bar fight yesterday while Hawk and I were out eating dinner. We kept out of it and just watched, and I thought of you. None of them would have stood a chance if you had been there.

The place I’m staying at is small and cheap, but I spend most of my time doing jobs for the guild, so I don’t mind. Remember to air out my bedroom at home once in a while, okay? But don’t let the rain in.

( _he doesn’t need to know you’re sharing an apartment with Hawk_ )

Hawk leveled up recently. I need to work hard to catch up so he doesn’t leave me behind.

( _you don’t realize that Hawk is well-aware of the fact that Relc would throttle him if anything happened to you, much less if he abandoned you far from Liscor_ )

There’s a lot of work available here, even for Runners like me who get lost on their way to places. But don’t worry! I’m learning about where places are in Pallass, so I’ll be working on other requests from the guild soon enough.

I am doing okay and eating every day. Wish me luck!

Lots of love,

Ashe Grasstongue

* * *

**Montage**

You and Hawk spent almost two years in Pallass with only one visit home in the second year. During that time, you moved from taking slow jobs to faster jobs, and then even on to urgent jobs. Later, you only took requests for outside Pallass when Hawk did, and then did solo jobs outside the Walled City when he said you were ready to try it by yourself. You leveled up to the point where you caught up with Hawk, something he had a mix of emotions about.

Letters were your only method of communication back home. You could have used [Message] at the guild, but neither you nor Relc had the consistency nor the desire to keep that up. You also sent the occasional letter to your sister and got the occasional letter in return, mostly for your shared birthday, but also whenever she advanced through the ranks. Relc wasn’t very good at sending letters back, but he made sure to always do so for the two birthdays you spent away from Liscor.

Regarding your tiny, shabby apartment, neither you nor Hawk ever upgraded. You rarely spend time there anyway, and all your important items were always on your person so even the rare break ins and theft didn’t bother either of you too much. However, you did detest the fact that he occasionally brought Drake females to the place for… _that_.

On the bright side, when you were fifteen and the age when you said you’d consider dating him, you had a legitimate excuse for rejecting another advance. Specifically, you told him that while you considered him your best friend (true enough, considering he was kind, funny, and had stuck by you for all this time), you weren’t going to date a male who flitted from female to female.

Unable to take a hint, Hawk said he’d swear off females for year if you would date him at the end of that year. Incapable of yelling at him to tell him you weren’t interested, you sighed and relented, agreeing. While he celebrated, you privately hoped that he would fail.

At last, though, Hawk finally decreed that it was time to move from Pallass.

It was time to take the next step towards becoming a Courier.

* * *

**Absence**

Relc found himself sulking in his daughter’s bedroom. He had come to open the window to air it out as she kept insisting on it in her letters, and now he was moping after noticing a layer of dust on everything. In the past two years since she left home, Ashe had only come home once, and that had been months before on the tail end of autumn, just before winter came.

( _he’d been on the lookout for her ever since she wrote she’d be back for a visit, and when he had spotted her in the streets he had yelled her name_

_walking up to her, he noticed she was wide-eyed for some reason, but then he’d been hugging her and when he had let go that look had disappeared from her face_

_she had gotten taller, and a single glance was all he needed to see that she had gotten stronger_

_she was happy, so there’d been no need to kill that Hawk guy_ )

After she had been gone so long, and after Embria’s disastrous visit the year before, he had been somewhat apprehensive about meeting her again, but Ashe was still the same, just taller. He’d taken her drinking that first night back (it turns out his daughter is a sad drunk, so now he had the mental note to make sure she didn’t drink too much next time), but the next day she cooked food for him. That had been when he realized just how much he’d missed her.

Letting her go when she left again was harder than it had been the first time. There were no certainties in life, so for all he knew that could be the last time he would ever see her alive again.

It still rankled him that she’d come and gone with Hawk, though.

Sighing, Relc scratched at the base of the spikes on his head. He didn’t like this dust, but Ashe got so prickly about her room…

( _this room doesn’t even smell like her anymore_ )

His hatchling left him way too fast. He hadn’t been ready to be a father, and he knew he wasn’t the best dad, but where Embria was difficult to get along with ever since he announced his intentions to leave the army and followed through on that, Ashe was easy to get along with. He loved them both, but anyone could see he loved Ashe almost effortlessly. Dealing with Embria was like walking through a trap-filled hallway, and Ashe was an open field with the occasional hidden spider nest or sudden cliff.

Yeah, both daughters were prone to surprising him in unpleasant ways… but he still cared for them.

He cared for them a lot.

( _he would definitely kill someone for either of them, though in Embria’s case she would probably kill the offender herself_ )

He never liked Ashe’s goal for herself. Being a Courier meant she would be away for long stretches of time and that she would be in danger. If she died out there, would he ever know?

“Argh, this is depressing. Gotta get to work for my shift or Z will get on my tail…”

Leaving his daughter’s room, Relc hoped she would be safe out there.

* * *

**Dangers**

While at Pallass, you and Hawk had been learning from the other Runners. Whenever the occasional Courier came by, the two of you could usually catch them for a few questions. Hawk was easy enough to get along with, and you were a young female Drake with skill, so you got to know a few Couriers.

“Just you wait,” Hawk breathed, watching the latest Courier leave the guild. “That’s gonna be us one day.”

“Mhm,” you grinned, picturing it.

“So,” he said, getting your attention. “It’s time for us to move on to the next Walled City, but this time we’re going to do a delivery. Couriers don’t handle regular mail most of the time, so you, me, and a couple others are going to get the deliveries going to Oteslia. That’s the closest Walled City. Between the four of us, we should be okay.”

You nodded along, letting him take the lead. The day would come when you would go your separate ways, but it was not this day.

Before long, you and Hawk moved out of that tiny apartment and met up with two other Drakes, both male. They weren’t in the Runner job to be Couriers and it turned out they were moving to Oteslia and had let Hawk know they were leaving which was where he got the idea it was time for both of you to move on as well.

On the journey, you learned of more dangers that came with being a Runner, or rather, the dangers that would come with being a Courier. Aside from the occasional Drake bandits, the worse of dangers were monsters, at the top of that long list were—

“Wyverns,” Hawk muttered, hiding with your group under a rock outcropping. “It just had to be Wyverns.”

None of you were strong enough to take the pair of Wyverns down, but at least they were distracted with fighting each other rather than hunting the four of you down. Laster, after you had put a healthy distance between yourselves and the fighting, flying monster, Hawk said that if you were going to be a Courier, you would have to watch out for them.

“Remember, Hirss said that dodging Wyverns is a typical hazard for Couriers.”

One of the other Drakes asked, “Are you two crazy?”

You and Hawk shared a glance.

“Maybe.”

“You kind of have to be, if you want to be a Courier. Crazy and fast, anyway.”

“Crazy fast.”

“That too.”

* * *

**Levels**

After just over a year of running around Oteslia and the surrounding area, you finally surpassed Hawk in levels.

“This is crazy,” Hawk muttered, staring up at the ceiling from his chair in the kitchen. You had delivered the news of your latest level at breakfast and now disbelief was settling in after the initial shock. “You’re sixteen and you’ve already passed my level. _How is that possible?_ ”

Hawk was twenty and had two of three Skills necessary for becoming a Courier. He had been running for longer than you, and yet here you were already surpassing him at a younger age.

“I don’t know,” you said, pausing between bites of pancakes. “But I do know that you are at least a part of it.” You smiled at him when he looked at you. “After all, who knows how long it would have taken for me to get this far if you hadn’t helped me.”

“I guess,” he said, straightening in his seat.

As per your agreement back in Pallass, Hawk had given up other females for a year and now the two of you were dating. However, since you already lived together, it didn’t actually change much aside from more touching and the occasional kiss. At your age, it wouldn’t be unusual for you to start having sex, but you had no interest in either Hawk or any other particular male, Drake or otherwise, so nothing had happened between you and Hawk yet.

As he ate breakfast, he appeared to be deep in thought.

“It’s been quite a long while since were home. Wanna head back for a visit?”

You thought about it. “Why don’t we go the long way? I don’t think there’s anything urgent waiting for us at home, so why not go the long way while making deliveries between the Walled Cities? We’d get more experience that way.”

He considered your idea. “Well, you do have a point…”

In the end he agreed with your idea, and ‘the long way’ ended up taking sixteen months.

By the time you and Hawk returned home, the both of you were Couriers.

 

And had fallen out with each other.

* * *

**Breakup**

“I don’t want to.”

“Ashe…”

“Hawk, _I don’t want to._ ”

“But we’re dating!”

“That doesn’t mean I have to if I don’t want to.”

“I’ve done so much for you! Do you have any idea how long I’ve had to hold myself back so that you didn’t get left behind?”

“I didn’t ask you to. I thought you did it because you were kind, because we were _friends_.”

“Your father all but threatened to kill me if I didn’t!”

“And what do you think he’d do to you if I told him you forced me into your bed?”

“…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. You’re right, I did it because we were friends. It’s just… Ashe, I love you, and I want to be with you.”

“You’re my best friend, Hawk. But I’m sorry. I like Drakes. I want a Drake husband and Drake children.”

“So that’s it, then? I never stood a chance?”

“Not when you want to be a Courier too. I want to be a Courier, so that means my husband will have to stay home with our hatchlings. We can’t both be gone and leave our offspring with family or strangers.”

“…I guess… I kind of always knew this would be the end result of you and me. I just hoped I’d be wrong, you know?”

“…I think we should be apart for a while.”

“I agree.”

* * *

**Alone**

If Hawk had been a Drake, you would have gone all the way with him. Maybe you would have even married him, if you thought you could trust him to be faithful to you while he was away on deliveries.

It’s been weeks since the two of you parted in Fissival, and you had thrown yourself into running to forget about the guilt and lingering pain of your breakup. You didn’t know what breaking up meant for your friendship with the Rabbit Beastkin, so you didn’t want to think about it.

As a result of your breakneck pace and multitude of deliveries to villages outside of Fissival, you leveled up again and gained the last of the Skills required for being a Courier. After the voice had gone, you bolted up in bed to rush to tell Hawk before suddenly remembering that the two of you didn’t live together anymore.

Disappointed, you returned to bed and laid down. Tomorrow, you would arrange to take the Courier exam.

If you failed, you would hone your skills and try again in two months.

If you succeeded, you would go home to Liscor.

( _to father_ )

* * *

**Exam**

The Courier exam in Fissival was to deliver sealed letters to Runner’s Guilds in three different Walled Cities, and for your exam, those were Oteslia, Zeres and Pallass. If you could, you would have left Pallass for last, but since Zeres was north it would be easier to then go west to Pallass and then south to Oteslia. The time limit was twelve days.

Honestly speaking, twelve days for the distance you had to go was under enough time for _actual_ Couriers. One who happened to be at the Runner’s Guild in Fissival winced when you answered his question about which Walled Cities you got for your exam. His had been easy, with three of the closest Walled Cities randomly picked from a box of balls, each etched with the name of the city in question. It was just your bad luck that those were the three Walled Cities you drew.

With no time to waste, you left Fissival and headed for Zeres. It took two days to get there, and you left as soon as you had the required Messenger Seal. Between Zeres and Pallass was the longest distance for this exam, one that stretched for nearly a thousand miles. Since the distance from Zeres to Oteslia was longer, it was only natural that you would go to Pallass first.

It was _hell._

As the time limit grew shorter, your breaks became less frequent. Every monster and delay was maddening, and you hated Wyverns with a passion as they forced you into hiding. The only mercy was that there was a passageway through the mountains between Zeres and Pallass.

Drakes didn’t sweat—biologically, they couldn’t—but their scales could lose luster and flake off, so that’s what happened to yours. Your body felt like it was starting to die out under you, pushed to its limits and being forced to go beyond those. When that happened, you forced yourself to stop in a village and take eight hours of rest. It was murder on your mentality, but better you failed the exam than died trying.

The Drakes in Pallass were appalled by your bedraggled appearance when you staggered into their city, but you didn’t care. After getting the second Messenger Seal, you were quick to leave the city, barely saying hello to the Drakes you knew when they called out.

The distance from Pallass to Oteslia was shorter than the distance from Pallass to Liscor, but it was still almost four hundred miles. A Courier could cover that distance in four days.

You had three.

* * *

**Fortitude**

You were still two days out from Oteslia when you reached the top of a hill and stared in the direction of your final destination. The sky was filled with colors of sunset as your chest heaved and your legs shook.

There was only one day left. You weren’t going to pass this time.

Letting your knees give out, you gave into the tears and curled inwards until your head was almost touching the ground. Pain throbbed through every part of your body as your mind rambled, saying you were going to fail, that you would have to do this again until you could do it, but maybe next time you’d be luckier in the draw and wouldn’t have to run close to two thousand miles in twelve days.

_No!_

Slamming a claw against the ground, you pushed yourself back up and wobbled forward until you were running again with your skills active. Finish first, cry later!

After midnight, when you had crawled into a shrub to rest for a while, you closed your eyes, determined to rest only for two hours before getting up again, and you fell asleep.

[Runner Level 35!]

[Skill – Tireless Stride obtained!]

[Skill – Greater Stamina obtained!]

You jolted awake, body still pulsating in pain. The moons shone overhead, lighting up the night. It was hunting time for nocturnal monsters, but you had been running at night for most of this exam so that didn’t deter you.

Crawling out of the shrub, you forced yourself back onto your feet. Your eyes locked on the distance leading to Oteslia.

One last push, with **everything** you had left, with all your skills at once!

( _the examinee looked half-dead when she staggered into the guild, but it was still the last day so he had the pleasure of telling her she passed—_

_—and the mild annoyance of having to get someone haul her unconscious body off to one of the rooms in the back, but then again, she wasn’t the first newly passed Courier that had happened to_ )

* * *

**Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.**

**~Robert F. Kennedy**


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear to you, the thing with Ashe and Relc is not going to go into weird(er) territory. They're just very fond of each other.
> 
> They're also going to punch anyone who insinuates anything, so don't be the first in line. ;)

**Exhaustion**

You slept for nearly three days and when you woke up again, the first thing you did was ask for water.

The second thing you did was ask for death.

The Drake you asked laughed, a female by the name of Wylia and a [Receptionist] at the Runner’s Guild. She was someone you knew, and she’d been checking up on you over the days you’d slept. Her scales were light green, and she was four years older than you.

“You’ll be fine, Ashe,” she giggled, taking the cup back from you. “Just rest for a day or so and take care of yourself, okay? I heard that your exam had the longest distance in recent years. No one thought you would actually make it.”

You grinned wryly, expression half-dead. “I kinda thought I wouldn’t make it either.”

“You’ll have to tell me about it before you leave the city,” she insisted.

“Sure, sure,” you replied tiredly. This goddess had brought you water, and her request was simple enough.

“Well, you should go wash up and get a good meal in you. Come back after that as the Guild Master will hand you your new Courier badge then.”

That brought a sincerer smile to your face and you nodded in agreement.

After using the public toilet in the building, you waved goodbye and headed out for the nearest bathhouse. It was heaven to slide into a tub of hot water and scrub off dirt and flaky scales. The hot water soothed your aching muscles and eased the cramps you had in your legs.

Following your bath, you went out for a hot meal and savored every bite. You drank cold juice and water, sighing in contentment each time. It was good, great even, especially after your arduous journey, but already you were thinking of going home and making pizza and other things to eat with Relc.

( _dad_ )

Grinning widely, your tail started swaying happily as you thought of sending a [Message] to Relc to tell him the good news and that you would be home in the next three weeks.

So after collecting your shiny new badge, that’s what you did.

* * *

**Possessive**

Relc slammed the door to the barracks open and bellowed, startling more than one guardsperson.

“ _MY ASHE IS A COURIER!_ ”

Zevara bellowed back from her office.

“ _SHUT UP, RELC!_ ”

Ignoring his captain, Relc immediately went over to the nearest table and sat down, talking loudly.

“I just got a [Message] from her. The message is three days old, so she’s been a Courier for three days now, but whatever! My little hatchling made Courier. At _seventeen!_ ”

There was impressed murmuring this time. Courier at such a young age _is_ an achievement. Usually even the youngest of Couriers was in their early twenties.

“She’s coming home, too,” he added happily.

One Drake snorted. “You’re just excited she’ll be home to cook for you again.”

He waved his hand dismissively. “Nah, that’s not the only reason. It’s been a long while since she’s been home. It’ll be good to have her back for a while before she heads out again.”

“She’ll be eighteen in a few months, right?”

Relc glared at the Drake who asked. “Yeah, why?”

He shrugged. “Nothing much, but isn’t that the age you said you’d let her go? She’s a young female with an impressive job now. You’ll be beating off males with a stick.”

Relc scowled. “Stabbing them off with a spear, more like.” 

He tilted his head, picturing his daughter getting married to some faceless Drake.

( _they saw the dark shadows forming on his face and hastily changed the subject back to Ashe’s status as a Courier and successfully drew him out of that line of thought_

_of all things Relc could have chosen to be possessive of, one of his own daughters was the worst thing he could have chosen_ )

* * *

**Homecoming**

Cresting a hill and coming to a stop, you saw Liscor in the distance for the first time in over two years.

( _home_ )

A wide smile crossed your face and your feet felt light as you started running the last distance. Where would Dad be? At the barracks, or perhaps on patrol? If he was on patrol, would he be in the city or out here on the Floodplains? Should you go home first and wait for him there, or go looking for him?

In the end, you didn’t have to looking.

Because he was right there at the gates, waiting for you.

( _he saw her running home, but she didn’t see him until she was closer to the gates, and when she laid eyes on him he saw her speed up_ )

“Ashe!”

“Dad!”

You ran right into the arms your father held out for you and laughed as he picked you up off your feet to whirl you in a circle.

You were home.

* * *

**Affection**

You and Relc went shopping for food before heading home. While shopping, you were greeted by many people, which was slightly strange to you since you hadn’t actually stayed in Liscor very long. It was Krshia Silverfang who enlightened you, saying that everyone knew _of_ Relc’s daughter Ashe, even if they hadn’t met you, because Relc was a father who mentioned his daughter every day.

When you looked up at him, Relc just scowled and blushed while Krshia laughed.

Back home, you had Relc take the food into the kitchen while you went into your room.

And you stopped, door open as a cool breeze drifted in through the open window.

It had been years since you’d been here, so you came in expecting dust and stale air. Instead, the room was clean, and you could smell that the floor had been recently washed. Clean linen lay on your bed, messy and wrinkled, but that was evidence that someone had tried to make your bed for you.

Only one person could have done this.

The Drake in you was angry that someone had come into your domain and taken _your_ dust away, but the daughter you were felt her affection grow.

Affection was stronger, so you were smiling when you joined Relc back in the kitchen.

( _he breathed easier, potential fight thankfully averted_ )

* * *

**Wonder**

You talked with Relc while you cooked, telling him the abbreviated version of your time away from home. Out of gratitude to your (former?) best friend, you left out the facts that you and Hawk had dated and subsequently broken up. You glossed over that part, saying you and Hawk had decided the time had come to split up and go on the rest of your journeys alone. Relc grumbled, but you lightly admonished him and soon convinced him that Hawk didn’t need to suffer an ‘accident’ when he came back.

( _and he did come back, four days later, relieved to find out that while you were back in Liscor, Relc wasn’t on the warpath for his head_ )

You told him about some monsters you had run into, the items and potions you had and used, and even about some of the Drakes, Gnolls, and Beastkin you had met.

By the time you were telling him about your exam, the two of you were sitting down and eating burgers, pizza, fries and meat sandwiches. You told him that the only reason you managed to pass the exam was because you leveled up several times between Zeres and Pallass, and then one final time between Pallass and Oteslia.

“It was _murder_ ,” you groaned between fries. “I almost didn’t make it even after I got to level 35—“

Relc started choking, making you pause in concern as he drained a cup of milk. Slamming the cup down, he rasped at you.

“ _What?_ Level _what?_ ”

You told him again and his jaw dropped. Wincing at the sight of inside his mouth, you lifted your gaze to his eyes. “What?”

Relc burst out laughing and slapped the table, making everything jolt. Grabbing the jugs of milk and juice so they didn’t tip over, you asked in exasperation.

“What, dad?”

Relc reined in his laughter to beam in your direction. “You really don’t know, do you, Ashe?” He chuckled heartily, gazing at you with undisguised pride. “For a genius, you really are dense.”

“Not a genius,” you frowned.

He shook his head at your denial. “You are, Ashe. Maybe not of the mind, but definitely at running.” He snorted at the look on your face. “ _Ashe_ , you’re only seventeen, but you’ve already reached level 35 as a [Runner]. Or rather, as a [Courier]. You are so very young, kid, and yet you’ve already reached heights that people struggle to reach in their thirties.”

You huffed. “If people focused on one class then it wouldn’t be such a rare thing.”

“Maybe,” he said skeptically. “But you’d be hard pressed to find someone who would limit themselves to one class like you do. The only case I’ve heard like yours is that [Strategist] in Baleros.” 

He leaned back in his chair and gazed at you in wonder.

“What will you be, Ashe. What will you be.”

It wasn’t a question, even though it should have been.

…Not that you had an answer, if it had been.

* * *

**Guilt**

You heard Hawk was back in Liscor, though you had yet to see him yourself. If he was avoiding you, then you weren’t going to corner him. Either he would approach you eventually and things would go from there, or he would continue to avoid you and you would take that as the dissolution of your friendship.

( _did Suzuki feel this way too when the others left?_ )

You froze midstride, thunderstruck.

When was the last time Suzuki crossed your mind like that? When was the last time you had thought of him?

( ** _when did you move on from mourning him?_ **)****

Staggering backwards, you felt bile rise up in your throat.

How could you do him such a disservice?

He was your brother! Your twin!

It was one thing to be happy without him, but to **forget** him as you had done?

( _but wouldn’t he have done the same?_ )

What sort of sister were you? What kind of twin just _forgot_ their other half?

Wasn’t the reason you didn’t love Embria because your love had belonged to Suzuki?

But even that wasn’t true anymore, wasn’t it?

Relc was your father. He was crude and irresponsible, but honest and protective; an idiot, but someone loyal. He saved your life when you were born because he had wanted you to live, had reached you when you didn’t want to be reached. He taught you about the world and held you on his lap or carried you on his shoulders or back. He was loud and made you laugh. He was strong and he protected you. He was caring and he let you go.

Relc was your _dad_ , and you _love_ him for it.

If someone or something appeared before you in this moment and offered you a chance to return to Suzuki in your old body in exchange for dying on Relc in this one, then you would _refuse._

If you were given a choice in this very moment, then you would choose Relc and this life.

So did that mean you didn’t love Suzuki anymore?

* * *

**Emotion**

A Gnoll guardsman told Relc that he had smelled Ashe and tears in an alleyway and that’s all Relc needed to abandon Klbkch on patrol to run and find her.

He found his daughter in alleyway, hugging her knees as she wept.

“Who do I have to kill?”

His angry question startled a laugh out of her, making her lift her head. She wiped at her tears and shook her head.

“He’s already dead, dad. I’m just sad because I’m not sad about it anymore. I mean, I still miss him, but I’ve moved on. I have you, and if I had to choose between going to him or staying with you, I know I’d choose you.” She sighed and stared at the wall opposite of her. “It’s just… I really cared about him. I cared about him a lot. I used to miss him so much I couldn’t even smile.”

( _she was a solemn hatchling, with sorrowful eyes so deep he just had to haul her up off her feet and swing her around, but she didn’t laugh when he did that until she was older_ )

Relc sighed and crouched down next to her. “It’s not a bad thing to not be sad about someone who died.”

Veryl’s been dead for almost three years now.

Reaching out, he gently made her look at him. “Kid, whoever this person was, Drake or otherwise, trust me on this: he wouldn’t want you to be sad over him forever. And if he did, he isn’t worth it.”

( _would Suzuki want you to live? would he want you to be happy?_

_you remember his smile, the special one he had only for you_ )

Tears slid down her face again, but she acknowledged his words.

“You’re right, dad.

“He’d want me to be happy.”

* * *

**Fact**

Relc helped you to your feet and announced that he’d be dragging Klbkch home for dinner.

“I seriously doubt you could drag him anywhere.”

“So there’d be a struggle, big deal. He’s coming to our place whether he wants to or not.”

“I suppose it is convenient for all involved that I do not mind going to your home. However, I would prefer if I went on my own feet.”

The two of you turned to see Klbkch also in the alleyway.

“Hey Klb. If you’re here, who’s patrolling?”

“We will be, as soon as you return to our scheduled route. Captain Zevara has insisted I stay with you when you wander and remind you that you have duties to attend to.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Relc put a hand on your shoulder. “I’ll see you later, kid. Remember, Klb is coming over, so make something he can actually eat.”

Klbkch protested. “I would eat anything Ashe put in front of me.”

Relc rolled his eyes as he clarified. “Something that won’t make him _sick._ ”

“Ah. That would be preferable, yes.”

You giggled slightly. “Okay. I’ll make something you can eat.”

“You have my appreciation. Eating outside the Hive is a pleasurable deviance from my usual—“

Relc suddenly grabbed the Antinium’s wrist and pulled him along as he practically ran away. “ _Okay,_ back to patrol, see you this evening Ashe, _bye!_ ”

You were left staring after where they had turned the corner. Faintly, you could hear Klbkch protesting.

“Huh. He really can drag Klbkch...”

* * *

**Parting**

Leaving Relc behind again, you threw yourself into your new status as a Courier. At first you were only permitted smaller jobs, but even those jobs paid well. Before long you were just another Courier and not an untrusted newbie. Besides which, the length of your exam had become something of a legend amongst Runners, and with it came some reputation that helped you get higher paying jobs. You learned from the other Couriers and bought better gear and specialized items for Couriers.

Sometimes when you looked in the mirror, you could hardly believe that that confident Drake in the reflection was you.

After finishing a delivery in Salazsar and learning that the Liscorian Army was nearby, you decided to pay your sister a visit. In the years you had been apart, letters were the limit of your interaction as you had been away from Liscor when she visited the city back when you were both fourteen.

It was evening when you found them, and Embria was in her tent. When you called out for permission to enter, she was a second too long in giving it.

“Hello Embria.”

“Ashe.”

Ohh, cold reception. She’s angry about something. What could it be? You leaving her, you not being there when she came to Liscor, the apparent lack of reaction to her letter about Veryl’s death—you’d written a letter back, but it had been short—the fact that you only send her letters on her birthday, the fact that you’re hard to locate…

…Actually, thinking about it, you’ve given her way too many things to be angry about.

Visiting might have been a bad idea.

“You’re… looking well.”

“Thank you. You look well too. Anyone who glances at you would notice your legs first.”

Was that an insult or just the way she handed out compliments? Damn, now you’re going to be self-conscious about your legs for a while.

Silence filled the tent.

“Congratulations on making Courier. Rel—dad sent me a letter about it too.” Her eyes narrowed. “He only sends me letters on my birthday.”

“Well, the army is easier to track than a Runner or Courier traveling the length of the land.”

“You should join the army. Your speed would be used well here.”

You winced. “Ah, no thanks. I don’t like war, and I don’t want another class.”

She frowned, folding her arms. “Yes, you only have one, right? [Runner].”

You heard something unpleasant in her voice at the word and you could practically hear her saying ‘coward’. Actually, she’s already said that to your face before, hasn’t she?

You stared at her, meeting her eyes, and you thought of Suzuki.

Even after all this time, even though you’d mostly put Suzuki behind you, Embria still couldn’t compare.

She must have seen something of that in your eyes, because she hissed and turned her back on you.

“You are distracting me, Ashe. You should leave.”

You did.

( _why won’t either dad or her own sister stay with her? what is she lacking that makes it so easy to let go of her?_ )

* * *

**Genius**

You were almost nineteen when a rock slide broke out on the mountains between Manus and Salazsar. It was your bad luck that you were in its path, caught on a slight path up from a narrow ledge bordering a deep gorge that promised death. The wave of earth and rock was racing towards you and you were frozen, seeing your death.

You had known that coming this way instead of going around the mountains was dangerous, but you had taken the risk all the same because it was _medicine_. Medicine from one rich Drake to a relative’s hatchling, but still! Now you were going to die, and possibly the recipient of the package too.

You should have made a will for this eventuality.

How long would it take before people realized you were dead and not coming?

How long would it take before Relc found out?

You saw your father’s smile, wide, with too many yellow teeth, and then your feet were flying back down the jagged path you had just ascended. Your eyes were on the other side of the gorge as you pulled out two daggers, one in each claw. The gorge was deep, but better to try living with a mad gamble than stand still and let certain death roll over you in a crushing mass.

The rocks thundered behind you and your heart thundered in your chest as the path quickly ran out.

( _dad_ )

At the end of the ledge, you kicked off—“[Rabbit Jump]!”—and launched yourself into the gorge just ahead of the rock slide. Gravity grabbed you as your legs pumped into empty air. Falling, falling, you knew that even if you reached the other side and dug your daggers into the rocks, you would be unlikely to hold on.

( _dad_ )

Rocks and dirt filled the air as a heavy river of it fell behind you. Your legs ran uselessly against the air as you continued falling.

You are going to die.

_No!_

Just one more jump! Slow the momentum of your fall and dig your daggers into the rock wall just feet away from you and you would live! Not [Rabbit Jump], the Skill you learned from wanting to jump like Hawk could, but something useful in the air!

“[Air Jump]!”

_Impossible._

You don’t want to die! Not again!

_**You don’t want to die!** _

__**(dad!)**

Despair and desperation fueled your voice as you wind milled your limbs against the laws of gravity and death.

“[Air Jump]! [Air Jump]! [Air Jump]! _[Air Jump]!_ ”

Something clicked in your head and a desperate step on air met resistance. Without thinking about it, you shoved off from an unsteady foot to launch yourself at the other side of the gorge again. 

The wall of rock raced towards you and you slammed your daggers into it. Momentum dragged you down and the jarring smack of reaching the cliff wall knocked your claw from one dagger, making you dangle precariously. Heart in your throat, you wildly reached up and grabbed the dagger again while your feet found footing against the outcropping rocks.

Tears dripped down your face as the leg you leapt off from screamed in agony. The thunder and rumble of rocks falling on the other side of the gorge erased all other sound. Nothing existed except for the rock slide and the feeling of nothing beneath you.

( _the feeling of death gripping your ankles and demanding that you fall the last of the distance into its maw_ )

No one was coming to save you, not out here.

So you would cry and scream later, right after you scaled this dead gods’ forsaken rock face.

* * *

**When you're at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on.**

**~Theodore Roosevelt ******


	9. Chapter 9

**Mask**

Both Demiurge and Ainz were pleased when the Shadow Demons finally reported that Nazarick was now being properly identified instead of being called the Blood Fields Dungeon. Demiurge praised Ainz for his plan to spread his name and that of Nazarick’s. Ainz, still uncomfortable with accepting praise from the Floor Guardians, demurred, though that was brushed aside with polite disbelief.

_‘I’m not actually a genius, you know!’_

Of course, Ainz didn’t say his true thoughts aloud.

* * *

**Trepidation**

The safety of Nazarick and its inhabitants was the foremost thought on his mind, and that meant his second-most thought was the gold needed to keep Nazarick functioning.

All items had been collected from the adventuring teams foolish enough to enter Nazarick—excluding the Mist Scales who had already been released—and there had been coins. The coins came in bronze, silver, and gold, whereas Yggdrasil used only gold coins. Moreover, the gold coins were smaller than Yggdrasil gold coins.

All other items were stored away for the moment as Ainz wanted Pandora’s Actor to transform before using the Exchange Box, though the wrinkle in that plan was that Ainz had yet to gather the courage to face his creation.

However, with the threat of both more adventurers and possible campaigns from the Drakes, Ainz could no longer put it off. He had to go see Pandora’s Actor.

And he would go alone.

* * *

**Orders**

When he sensed a visitor approaching, Pandora’s Actor preemptively took the form of Lady Momocha. Her soft glow further illuminated his office as her white dress softly rippled. When he moves to stare down at her soft and gentle hands, he hears her wings rustle quietly.

He… he hadn’t had the courage to take this form since her death hit home, and he regrets taking it now.

( _she’s gone where he can’t reach_ )

A _clack_ makes him look up, and he sees Lord Momonga standing there, red flames dimmed at the sight of his sister.

“That’s enough, Pandora’s Actor.”

He shifts forms and tries valiantly to behave normally, projecting his voice as he snaps his limbs in greetings to his creator.

There is silence as they stare at each other.

“I have need of your abilities.”

He saluted. “How may I help you, Lord Momonga?”

“First off, I’ve changed my name. I am now Ainz Ooal Gown.”

“A most fitting name!”

“Umu. Listen well, for this is our current situation.”

Lord Ainz told him of the strange transmigration of Nazarick to a new world and of how there wasn’t any Yggdrasil gold available. Therefore, Lord Ainz or a Floor Guardian would be bringing Pandora’s Actor items to throw into the Exchange Box, and of course the treasury guardian was expected to transform in order to get the most out of it that he could.

“I understand, Lord Ainz!”

“Good,” the Supreme Being spoke, standing up from the seat he had taken. “I will be on my way then.”

“I look forward to the next time you grace me with your presence!”

Lord Ainz turned to leave, but then he paused with his back turned towards Pandora’s Actor.

“…Never take my sister’s form again unless I order it.”

( _alternatively, never let him see—but he is nothing if not obedient_ )

“Wenn es meines Gottes Wille ist!"

“…No German, either.”

( _rules were made to be broken_ )

* * *

**Adventurers**

It came to Ainz’s attention that there were also Humans on this landmass. Drakes lived on the south part of this continent, and Humans in the north. There were also additional species such as the Antinium and Gnolls, but those were also in the south. Humans didn’t have special noses, and while he would have to be wary of magic, at least they would be easier to conceal his identify from.

Ainz decided to go north while wearing full-plate armor. Adventurers were definitely a thing in this world, so he could register as one and earn gold that way while also gathering more information about this new world. Of course, Albedo was firmly against the idea, though Demiurge somehow managed to convince her to let him go without a fuss.

( _a good wife should wait dutiful at home for her husband to return_ )

After due deliberation, Ainz decided to take Lupusregina Beta with him as she had a lively personality that seemed well-suited to an adventurer. He did hope her coloration wouldn’t stand out too much, but that was a small detail. Outside of Nazarick, he told her to call herself Regina.

Before leaving, he left Albedo and Demiurge in charge with orders to use as little gold as possible, even if that meant sending Shalltear at the adventurers. To Shalltear, he told her to keep herself as safe as possible while dealing with intruders.

Departing, he had Shalltear open a Gate far north and then he walked through with Lupusregina right behind him. Arriving on the other side of the Gate, he was surprised to realize that he was a few hundred yards away from the edge of the rainclouds that hung over the Floodplains. 

“Whoa,” Lupusregina said, shielding her eyes as she stared at the distant rainstorm. “Look at that, Lord Ainz. Those clouds aren’t going anywhere. Why is that, I wonder?”

“A local phenomenon, I assume,” he replied. “While we are out here, refer to me as Momon.”

“Yes, Lord Momon!”

“No, just Momon.”

“…M… Momon.”

“Good.”

He turned around and started walking north. Lupusregina walked a step behind him.

They registered at first town that had an Adventurer’s Guild as Momon and Regina.

* * *

**Autonomous**

Twice-daily contact with Albedo and Demiurge allowed Ainz to keep up-to-date on what was happening at Nazarick while he was away. While there had been another team of Drake adventurers from the south to fall to Shalltear’s undead after they opened one of the smaller mausoleums, there had been nothing of note from Albedo. On the other hand, Demiurge reported that Liscor officials hears of a raid being prepared in Pallass to challenge the Great Underground Tomb of Nazarick.

He would have to return when the time came, both to see Nazarick’s defenses being tested and also in case anything went wrong.

For now, though, he was going further north towards the Human city of Invrisil, the so-called ‘city of adventurers’. He didn’t need to rest, but he was considerate of Lupusregina who needed to eat and rest. She told him that Yuri, Shizu, Solution, and Narberal didn’t need to eat, and the only the latter three needed to rest, so if Momon wanted to reconsider his adventuring partner then she would understand.

Her face clearly said ‘don’t exchange me’ and ‘I like being out here’, so he declined, making her light up.

However, by running with the battle maid on his back, Ainz was able to shorten the journey by a great deal. Getting into the city required gold, and he was surprised when Lupusregina pulled out gold from somewhere. After entering the city, he asked her where she got that gold and she grinned widely, saying she liberated it back in Celum.

Ainz didn’t ask and was just grateful she had thought of it.

Still, it was bad that she had to do that, so he resolved to correct himself.

* * *

**Fortnight**

It turned out that Lupusregina ended up being popular due to her looks and Ainz had an uncomfortable first row seat to her shenanigans regarding her admirers. Barely three days after their arrival at Invrisil, she manipulated two adventurers into fighting over her, only to reject the winner in the end before skipping over back to his side. As long as she never threw the first punch, he would let her do as she pleased.

( _she seemed so happy_ )

In the meantime, they did quests. He would take the quests from the board at the Adventurer’s Guild, and then once they were out of sight, Lupusregina would read them with the magic glasses he lent to her for that purpose. It was an adequate system, at least until he learned English (which, for some reason, was the language being spoken but only the written language of the Humans). They were making good headway into becoming Silver-rank adventurers.

And then Albedo contacted him, saying a raid was on its way to Nazarick.

* * *

**Pathetic**

Ainz and Lupusregina quickly left Invrisil and once they were out of sight, he removed his armor to open a Gate which they quickly stepped through. Lupusregina was dismissed and he joined Demiurge and Albedo so they could all view the raid together.

Albedo reported that the raid had come from Pallass and consisted of forty adventurers from at least eleven teams. Most were Drakes, though were some Gnolls and the occasional unidentified species. Currently they were organizing while also fending off the aggressive vegetation sprouting from the red grass.

As he watched, they eventually all descended from the top of the hill down into the grounds of Nazarick (perhaps he should get Mare to remove the hill now that their location was known anyway?) From there, they opened the closest small mausoleum only to have undead pour out. Unfortunately for them, after the first incident a Death Knight was assigned to each of the four small mausoleums to protect the treasures within.

The Death Knight tore through the adventurers, and Ainz knew that for every one it killed, the dead would come back as its eternal servant. Eventually, though, they managed to put the Death Knight down for good. He felt displeasure as some went into the mausoleum and opened the stone coffin to find the treasure there.

“They will not escape with it alive,” Albedo said calmly, her voice cool.

As some of the adventurers organized a chain to get the treasure out and up to the top of the wall, Demiurge sounded amused that they actually seemed to think they would be getting away with it. “They certainly won’t get very far.”

The adventurers were arguing, pointing at their fallen dead (twice dead, actually) while others pointed at Nazarick’s entrance.

“Intel gathering,” Demiurge surmised. “Foolish, considering that aside from the Mist Scales, no one who entered has come out.”

It was his fault, Ainz internally sweated. He’d told the Mist Scales to spread his name and the name of Nazarick, but he forgot to tell them to tell others to stay away.

Eventually the adventurers agreed on retreating with the treasure and their dead as there was less than a third of them left.

He couldn’t have that, so he sent Shalltear to put an end to them and had the Pleiades move the treasure back to where it belonged.

* * *

**Puppies**

Demiurge’s next report from the Shadow Demons stated that Liscor had been asked by Pallass to commit some of their forces to dealing with the Great Underground Tomb of Nazarick. They asked for something called the Heartflame Breastplate, but Liscor replied that that decision was up to its current owner, a female Drake by the name of Selys Shivertail, and she had already rented it out to a Gold-rank adventurer who was currently challenging the Liscor Dungeon. Relations between the Walled City and Liscor were currently strained, and it was unlikely that additional forces would be coming from Liscor.

Things were quiet for the moment, but Ainz suspected that Nazarick would not be allowed to be left in peace. Not only would outside forces want to delve into Nazarick as it was a dungeon, its inhabitants were curious about the outside world.

If ‘curious’ meant ‘fervent desire to conquer’, anyway.

Albedo was insistent that the raid not be allowed to go unanswered, and she had Demiurge’s support. After scouting and observing the distant Walled City via the Mirror of Remote Viewing, they had concocted a plan and wore bright expressions as they laid it out for him.

Urgh, how could he refuse those faces?

( _how could he risk having them turn on him?_ )

* * *

**Plan**

Essentially, Albedo and Demiurge’s plan was to conquer the Walled City of Pallass and to claim a large part of the southern half of the continent as Nazarick’s territory. Ainz would be king of a new country, and further hostile actions would be taken as a declaration of war.

A war they hoped for because they intended to win.

( _an almost endless scream echoed in his head because_ why _are they doing this to him?_ )

Unfortunately, Ainz had already approved their plan, and tomorrow was the start of it.

After working all night, the Guardians had everything in place. 

Demiurge would use Meteor Fall close to the Walled City to damage and (hopefully, Ainz thought) breach the wall around the city. From there, the Nazarick Old Guarders, the Nazarick Elder Guarders, and Nazarick Master Guarder would invade the city. Ainz had added the latter two to Albedo’s plan because he wanted it to succeed—he very much wanted to avoid Albedo and Demiurge apologizing by offering their lives, thank you—and also added the Death Knights he had so far formed from the adventurers who entered Nazarick. Shalltear and himself would open the gates for them prior to sending the messengers in. Demiurge would be in the middle of all that, as would Cocytus since the stalwart Guardian expressed an interest in taking part of the battle. The capture of high-ranking city officials was a high priority, though no mercy was ordered for the rest.

Before the start of all that, though, Ainz would send forth wraiths with a message.

_“The Great One is displeased with the repeated intrusions into his realm. The Great One sends two of his greatest warriors and a portion of his army. Despair, Pallass, for you have made a Great Enemy.”_

* * *

**Shocking**

The message was delivered and Demiurge called down Meteor Fall close to the city. The impact blinded everyone looking except for Demiurge, Cocytus, and the undead behind them. When the light faded and the dust began clearing, the demon was pleased to see that the famed wall had indeed been breached as planned.

Demiurge had lifted his arm to order the army forward when Cocytus spoke.

“What. Is. That?”

Glancing at his friend, he saw the warrior staring at something in the distance and turned to look. Something was running towards them, approaching at an unnatural speed.

“It appears to be a Drake,” he observed aloud, ignoring the Drakes frantically rallying themselves just inside the broken wall. “It could be a native of Pallass, or perhaps a messenger. Runners and Couriers are they deliver mail in this world, and Couriers are supposed to be capable of such quick movement.” Lord Ainz hadn’t given them orders to rush, so he glanced back at his companion. “What say you, Cocytus? Shall we see what they do, or shall we begin the invasion?”

Cocytus let out a blast of white air. “It. Might. Be. A. Messenger. Though. If. The. Message. Is. Worth. Delaying. Battle. For. I. Do. Not. Know.”

Demiurge considered the other Guardian’s words. As he did, Lord Ainz contacted him, prompting him to apologize and explain the delay. It turned out that Lord Ainz was also curious about what the message might be and permitted them to wait.

Less than ten minutes later, a grey-scaled Drake ran to a stop a couple dozen feet away from them, throwing their arms out as they slid to a stop, a pathetic deterrent to Nazarick’s glorious army. The small stature and softer features led Demiurge to identify this Drake as a female. Drakes didn’t sweat, but this one was unkempt with flaking scales and blood-shot eyes. She was shaking, likely from overusing her Skills, breathing hard, and her clothing was filthy.

An unpleasant messenger, and one he would probably kill unless Lord Ainz stayed his hand.

His observation of her took less than a second and he thought her nothing special, but she knocked him off balance in an instant.

“D-Demiurge, Cocy-cytus, please! Momocha asks for mercy!”

* * *

**It happened so fast. No one had time to do anything, but watch.**

**~Jason Medina, The Manhattanville Incident: An Undead Novel ******


	10. Chapter 10

**Completion**

You climb the rock wall as you are because letting go of even one dagger is too terrifying to contemplate. With your leg throbbing in agony the whole way, you eventually manage to make it to the top. You thank your lucky stars that there were no birds to harass you. That would have pissed you off, to survive your insane jump only to be harassed to death by freaking _birds._

You would have gone to the next life with a grudge against the whole species.

Grunting, you hauled yourself over the ledge and plopped down, breathing hard. Turning your head, you looked at the other side of the gorge and saw a deceptively sturdy-looking mound of rocks. Damn rocks and dirt! You were going to be running late because of this.

After several moments of staring up at the sky and glorying in the fact that you were somehow still alive, you finally sat up and dug through one of your magically expanded pouches. Pulling out a potion, you opened it and drank some, sighing in relief as your leg stopped inhibiting your thoughts with pain.

Standing up, you carefully stretched your limbs to make sure everything was still working. Concluding that you weren’t in danger of having something give out, you started walking. You couldn’t run on these treacherous mountain trails, so you were stuck on normal speed.

That rockslide and detour added more than half a day to your run, but because you had gone through the mountains instead of around them, you still arrived earlier than expected.

Staring at the Messenger Seal in your hand, you tightened your grip on it and sighed.

You were going home for a visit.

* * *

**Honing**

On your way back to Liscor—no special deliveries this time, just regular mail that wasn’t life or death—you spent at least a part of each day trying to figure out your new skill. Your [Rabbit Jump] had changed to [Air Jump], and while the latter didn’t launch you as far as the former, the latter was capable of propelling you through the air by jumping _off_ air.

…Or was it by jumping _on_ air?

Either way, [Air Jump] was a unique skill.

One that left great pain in whichever leg you used it on, but that was slowly but surely becoming negligible. By the time you were skirting the Blood Fields, using your new skill left your legs feeling as though you’d run a great distance, which was a great improvement over feeling like someone dropped a boulder on them and then tried to pull your leg muscles out from the bottom of your foot.

Yeah, you drank most of your potions…

When the familiar hills of the Floodplains came into view, you smiled widely and decided to put [Air Jump] to use.

( _the guardspersons on the wall watched Relc’s daughter jumping home through the air and by nightfall the story was spread across the city_

_and they called her Sky Walker_ )

* * *

**Parade**

After dropping off your deliveries at the Runner’s Guild, you found Relc on patrol in the city with Klbkch and pounced on his arm from behind.

“Dad!”

He twitched, startled, but calmed when he realized it was only you. 

You leaned over and acknowledged the Antinium. “Hey, Klbkch.”

“Good afternoon, Miss Ashe.”

Relc wiggled his arm to get your attention and grinned down at you. “Hey, kid. What brings you home?”

You squeezed his arm and stared at the ground.

( _the thundering of rocks, the sound of your death, the pull of gravity, and the feeling of falling_ )

Snapping your head up, you beamed at him. “I got a new Skill!”

He chuckled. “Must be impressive if you had to come all the way home just to show it off.”

“It is!” You let go of his arm and ran a couple steps in front of him. “Watch!”

You jumped off the ground and then used your Skill several times to jump into the air, go high, and then come back down. Your little demonstration had instantly gathered the attention of the street and Relc laughed as he pulled you to his side with one arm.

“My Ashe! Always full of surprises, aren’t you?”

Laughing, you patted his arm before you were beleaguered by questions and congratulations from the crowd. You said the name of your new skill and offered a couple ‘thanks’ in reply before Relc shooed everyone off and invited you to walk with him and Klbkch.

“That is a fascinating skill,” Klbkch observed. “The closest I have seen in comparison to that would be the Flying Antinium, though they have wings.”

Relc eyed you. “So what level are you at now, kid?”

You hummed. “Well, I got it just before I leveled up to 38, but on the way home it helped me get up to level 39.”

Relc startled you and half the street by roaring in delight. “My kid is level 39! _Level 39!_ ”

He stooped and grabbed you under the knees to haul you up and slide you onto your shoulder. You yelped during the undignified repositioning, and then suddenly you were head and shoulders above everyone else and in full view of the street.

Feeling a multitude of eyes on you, warmth rushed to your face as you hissed down at Relc. “ _Dad!_ Put me down! ”

Relc ignored you and proceeded to parade you for the rest of his patrol, cumulating in Captain Zevara yelling at him when he, you, and Klbkch arrived back at the barracks. 

( _if it wasn’t clear before to Liscor that Relc was proud of Ashe, it certainly was by then_ )

* * *

**Reason**

You groaned and hid your warm face behind your claws after yet another loud greeting from the other Drakes in the tavern.

“ _Sky Walker?_ Are they _serious?_ I can’t walk in the sky!”

Relc just laughed loudly, tossing back half a mug of alcohol before clapping you on the back. “You’re only nineteen and already have a Name! I don’t think Named Couriers are a thing, but still.”

You sighed and lowered your claws to take a gulp of alcohol from your own mug. Burping quietly, you asked him, “How have you been, dad?”

“Can’t complain,” he said. He took a moment to wave a claw at yet someone else to yell your new so-called title at you.

“That’s good,” you said, taking a bite from your plate of food.

He surprised you by suddenly becoming serious.

“So why did you come home, Ashe? Don’t think I didn’t notice your reaction earlier.”

The cacophony of the tavern filled the silence that preceded your answer.

“I almost died.”

You saw him flinch from the corner of your eye. You continued.

“I was on a delivery from Manus to Salazsar. It was important that I get there quickly, so I cut across the mountains.” Your claws curled inwards. “There… there was a rock slide.”

In halting words, you told him the story of how you came to get your new Skill.

“The only reason I made it out of there is because I thought of you. Dad…

“You’re my reason for living.”

* * *

**Epiphany**

That was both humbling and slightly uncomfortable to be told.

Ashe continued eating in silence, occasionally waving half-heartedly at someone who called out her new Name. He thought about her statement as he slowly glugged from his mug.

It wasn’t… a bad thing. 

He was responsible for the way she felt because hadn’t it been him, back when she was born and refused to eat, who reached her and got her to live? Wasn’t it him who explained the world to her, who took her away from the army where she was unhappy? Wasn’t he the one who greeted her every time she came back to Liscor, the one who kept a place waiting for her each time?

This was his kid.

He loved her too.

“Ashe.”

She looked over at him.

He was bad at this mushy stuff, but she needed to hear something from him.

“I beat up three suitors who came to talk to me while you were gone.”

Her expression went from melancholic to confused to surprised and then she laughed.

“You’re terrible, dad.”

Then, in a slight lull, someone across the room spoke a little too loudly.

“—wear they’re dating if I didn’t know they were father and daughter.”

You both froze.

And then you kicked your table across the room at the offending Drake, striking several innocents in its wake.

Relc was there in an instant, roaring as he picked up the table, threw it into the crowd on the left, and proceeded to pummel the said offender.

( _it became the only tavern you’d ever been barred from_ )

* * *

**First**

Later, as you and Relc walked home, him with fewer marks than you had, he asked you, “Was that your first bar fight?”

You grunted, wiping at sore jaw. “The first one I ever participated in.”

He grinned. “You did fine. I mean, you got socked pretty good in the middle of it—“and he had immediately dispensed revenge with a mighty [Relc Punch]—“but you did pretty well for a non-combatant.”

“Thanks,” you replied drily. You sighed. “I know we got out of there before the Watch showed up, but will I have to worry about any repercussions?”

“Nah, you weren’t caught at the scene and no one died.” He paused. “At least as far as I could tell.”

You hummed, half mortified and half amused by your next thought. “Imagine if Klbkch had caught us.”

Relc laughed. “That old bug! Depending on his mood, he’d either throw the book at us or somehow ‘not see’ us in all the commotion.”

You laughed shortly. “I’m glad you two get along.”

Relc grinned. “We’re buddies. Of course we get along.”

Ants were supposed to be relentless insects, back before they’d been forced into extinction in your old world, so you hoped Relc was right.

You’d absolutely hate it if Klbkch betrayed him.

* * *

**Familiar**

The first time Erin Solstice entered the city of Liscor was not a pleasant memory for her. However, she had been stupefied to realize that burgers, fried, and pizza were for sale ( _she cried after managing to purchase a cheese burger_ ). She had been so hopeful that there might be another Human there, but neither Relc nor Klbkch ever mentioned one.

Later, as she was dearly tempted to ignore the apologetic Relc as he helped her carry her things, she gave in and asked him about the familiar food. She didn’t expect him to grin proudly and explain that his daughter Ashe was the inventor.

“Everyone else is a dirty thief,” he scowled. “…Although they do make a pretty good meaty pizza at Scathing Claws.”

Erin was stunned. “You have a kid?!”

“Two,” he corrected. “The eldest is Embria, and the youngest is Ashe. Ashe is the one who made burgers, fries, and pizza. Also some other stuff, like ‘catch up’ and mayo.” He groaned. “I should ask her to come home for a bit. Now I’m dying for ‘catch up’ on my burgers. She just refuses to sell the recipes to Torg.”

She was perplexed. Putting aside the fact that _Relc_ had kids, this Ashe… “Are… are they both, you know… Drakes?”

He looked offended, but considering she overheard him badmouthing her she didn’t back down. He grumbled, “Yeah, they’re both Drakes. Embria’s got red scales and Ashe has grey scales.”

A little furrow formed on her brow. “Wait, so like, ‘ember and ash’?” She hummed slightly. “Well, those are nice names.”

“I know! But their mother didn’t believe me and Embria used to complain that the other kids made fun of her.” He scratched his scaley chin. “Come to think of it, being called names never bothered Ashe…”

He was so proud of Ashe, but even that pride in his daughter couldn’t make Erin overlook the fact that Relc killed Goblins in some misguided attempt to help her.

They didn’t speak to each other for a while after that debacle.

**Eligible**

The rest of your nineteenth year alive was spent mostly around Salazsar because you had a weakness for the many shiny gems they mined there. Of course, as a Courier, ‘around Salazsar’ meant the relatively close cities of Manus, Zeres, and Fissival. You were a popular Courier for deliveries between Manus and Salazsar because of your [Air Jump] Skill that let you cross the mountains between them faster than other Couriers.

‘Ashe the Sky Walker’ did end up becoming what others called you, something Relc was exceedingly proud of the one other time you went home that year.

On the bright side, your high demand did mean you made a lot more coin and that in turn meant you could buy more sparkly stuff after you made sure your supplies were stocked up and your equipment was in working order.

Back on the dark side though, you now had suitors vying for your attention and your claw in marriage. You didn’t want to deal with them, so you finally started telling them that you wouldn’t have anything to do with anyone who couldn’t match your father.

Relc ended up sending you annoyed messages that random Drakes were showing up at Liscor to ‘challenge him for the right to marry his daughter’. Naturally, he crushed everyone who came at him because no one was good enough for his kid.

Of course, this too backlashed on you and you basically became a ‘prize’.

Sometimes you didn’t even have to send Drakes to your dad because you’d kick the hell out of them yourself.

* * *

**Revelation**

You were in Zeres when you heard that a new dungeon had been discovered in the Blood Fields. That surprised you slightly, because during at that time that Drakes and Humans fought there, neither side had ever reported a dungeon before. However, as a Courier and not an adventurer, you weren’t really interested. After all, for months now, the only dungeon you had been interested in was the one found closer to Liscor.

Hearing second-hand how your home city had been attacked by undead was not the best way to find out. Thankfully, your frantic messages to Relc were relatively quick to get an answer and he told you that he was fine. He also told you not to waste your time coming back because everything was okay. You were in the middle of a lengthy back-and-forth series of deliveries between Manus and Salazsar (some snooty Drake in Manus kept sending back a jeweled golden bracer because it ‘wasn’t just right’, but they were paying you for each time, so whatever), so you relented and told him okay.

Winter was its usual pain-in-tail, and the blue lights had it out for you when you used [Air Jump] in the mountains, so you had to be extra vigilant. The avalanche, though, that was just a dick move.

Later, the Goblin Lord and his army was a little more alarming, but Relc once again told you not to run home. Liscor was fine. He was fine. Klb was fine. Though for some reason Liscor and even the Antinium sent aid to a village that was pillaged by the Goblin Lord, and Relc’s only explanation when you asked as ‘Erin is a weird Human’. Who the hell was Erin? Why did your dad know a Human?

The worst, though, was the news that came from the north: Zel Shivertail, the Tidebreaker and hero of the Antinium Wars, was dead.

You didn’t idolize the Drake as many others did, but the grief around you that came with the news was sobering and disheartening. Being in Fissival while so many were grieving was too much.

( _did you mourn Suzuki like that once?_ )

You took a delivery request from Fissival to Oteslia, and then another from Oteslia to a village further south, some place smaller where the grief wasn’t so thick. You waited a while before heading back, and when you finally did, there were two important pieces of news: one, Selys Shivertail was now in possession of the legendary Heartflame Breastplate, and two, the Blood Fields Dungeon actually already had a name and a boss who wanted to be properly acknowledged.

Your acquaintances at the Runner’s Guild told you all this when you got back, and you felt your knees give out from under you.

_Ainz Ooal Gown._

_The Great Underground Tomb of Nazarick._

Tears blurred your vision as you curled forward and wept into the floorboards, ignoring the Drakes trying to get you to tell them what was wrong. Your mind was filled with an image, of a person who once had been the only person who mattered.

_Suzuki?_

* * *

**Terror**

You were in a state of shock and disbelief. 

It couldn’t be true. It couldn’t be _real._

This had to be a lie. This had to be some weird dream. Did you get into an accident back at the village beside the ocean?

Nazarick.

Ainz Ooal Gown.

( _why is someone calling themselves by the name that belonged to everyone?_

but you don’t have the right to get angry, because you are just a Drake)

Heteromorphic beings.

_Monsters._

Shalltear Bloodfallen. Gargantua. Cocytus. Aura and Mare. Demiurge. Victim. Sebas. Albedo.

_The Forty-One._

( _the guild master, the undead overlord, **Momonga**_ )

You are scared.

You… are **terrified.**

You have never seen a Tier Six spell, much less a Tier Ten spell, to say nothing of a Super Tier spell!

Drakes stood no chance against the might of The Great Underground Tomb of Nazarick.

For days, weeks even, you huddled in a back room at the Runner’s Guild, curled up and rocking in place.

( _they sent a message to both Relc in Liscor and to Embria in the Liscorian Army, but by the time they read them it was too late_ )

You were afraid, too petrified to think straight. All you could think of was the campaigns the guild members went on; those battles you saw back when you played as Momocha. You remembered the devastating magic and terrible strength of the guild members.

( _the easy way Momonga brought death_ )

Then, as your salvation so often was, you remembered your father.

_Relc._

Liscor was close to the Blood Fields, _close to Nazarick._

Rising to your feet, you staggered out of the Runner’s Guild and ignored the ones trying to call you back. With your Skills, no one but another Courier could have caught you.

Heading north, you raced home.

( _to Relc?_

_or to Suzuki?_ )

* * *

**It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.**

**~Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy ******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the timelines are joined at last!


	11. Chapter 11

**Desperation**

You were nearing Pallass where you planned to rest and send a message home. The Walled City was visible from where you were, but something felt wrong. What… what was this dread?

A magical pillar of light, small but visible even from this distance, made you stumble to a stop in horror. Tier Ten? Super Tier? Would the Walled City survive that?

Your eyes widened and your arms fell limp as a meteor appeared in the sky.

That is the Tenth Tier spell [Meteor Fall]!

As the rock of death descended, you pushed forward again and stared at the ground. As the glare of light increased, you squinted your eyes shut. With a thundering crash you never heard matched before, the meteor slammed into the ground. You threw yourself onto your front and covered your head as the shockwave came and rolled back the grass and flora of the land.

But as soon as it passed you were running again, activating all your speed-related Skills. Your body throbbed, protesting, but [Tireless Stride] let you keep moving.

Why were you running so hard? You didn’t even like Pallass!

You could see a lump of blue, someone in red, and behind them you saw undead equipped in gleaming armor. Trembles entered your limbs but you didn’t stop running.

Part of the Walled City was destroyed, like a living thing that had its rib cage blown open to be exposed to the elements. You were too late to prevent that, and you might not be enough to dissuade the Floor Guardians and whoever was behind them, but you had to try.

If you couldn’t save Pallass, how could you save Liscor?

Sliding to a stop a short distance from the commanders of the Nazarick invasion force, you threw your arms out (pathetically small against their might, but what else could you do?).

“D-Demiurge, Cocy-cytus, please! Momocha asks for mercy!”

* * *

**Questioning**

Chest and shoulders heaving from the exertion you put yourself through, you mentally cried out. Why was that the first thing you said?! Granted, you didn’t even think of what you would say, hell, you hadn’t even expected to find Pallass under attack, but could you have said something other than their names and ‘Momocha’? Demiurge is going to kill you!

A cold blast of air left Cocytus’s mouth as he suddenly slashed his halberd at you (Decapitation Fang, [Perfect Recall] helpfully reminded you). His voice was cold with rage.

“You. Speak. Of. The. Deceased. Supreme. One. How. Dare. You. Claim. That. She. Asks. For. Mercy. For. These. Vermin. Who. Trespassed. Repeatedly. In. The. Great. Underground. Tomb. Of. Nazarick.”

You winced and glanced back at Pallass. “Did… did they kill anyone? Steal anything?”

“No one of importance, and no, they did not.” Demiurge’s attention was on you now, and you didn’t like that.

Once, long ago, you had a crush on the Seventh Floor Guardian, something that probably would have grown stronger over time, but you had barely spared a thought for him since being reborn. Now all you remembered was his backstory, of how Ulbert made him to be the embodiment of evil and exceedingly cruel. If you were going to die, you could only hope that it would be by Cocytus’s hand. That, at least, would be a mercy in comparison to what Demiurge might do to you.

He continued. “My colleague presents a valid point: Lady Momocha is deceased. How could she ask for mercy for your fellow Drakes? More importantly, _why_ would a Supreme One do so?”

Your tail was drooped with exhaustion, yet at the same time it was tense with nervousness.

Inhaling and exhaling quietly while trying to hide just how deeply you were afraid, you replied. “Neither of you knew her. Unless there is another who does, I doubt I could convince you.”

“Perhaps,” Demiurge agreed lowly. A pleasant smile crossed his face. “However, I have ways of making you talk.”

Your legs nearly crumpled beneath you but your mind yelled no, and you stomped one leg to keep yourself from falling. Demiurge looked amused, but then his attention was directed elsewhere as he turned his head slightly, apparently listening to something. [Message], perhaps?

“This messenger knew our names, and claims that Lady Momocha asks for mercy for Pallass.”

Demiurge’s metal tail swayed before he sharply turned his glasses back in your direction. “You there. **Answer me truthfully** : does Lady Momocha live?”

You winced as nothing happened. In the race here, you had risen to level 40, but only those _under_ level 40 couldn’t resist this Skill.

“Ah, my… apologies? I’m level 40, so…”

“Hm. So you know which Skill I just used and the mechanics of it. I suppose a Supreme Being such as Lady Momocha could have granted you that knowledge, but that is not definitive proof.”

He tilted his head minutely, listening to someone on the other end of [Message].

“Describe Lady Momocha.”

Your heart was still hammering in your chest because at no point during all of this were you actually not internally panicking.

“In which form, two wings or six wings?”

“Both.”

You quickly rattled off your avatar’s forms. Back before you died, your avatar had been dressed in Legendary-class equipment last, so that’s what you concluded with.

Demiurge spoke, but not to either you or Cocytus. “She described Lady Momocha adequately, though from what she said, Lady Momocha has not donned her Divine-class equipment.”

As Demiurge listened (or waited for a reply, whichever), Cocytus stared at you while you tried hard not to stare back. Cocytus was partially based on an ant but he was nothing like the Antinium.

Come to think of it, while you’ve been out here, what is Pallass doing?

Looking over your shoulder, you saw Drakes forming up both outside and inside the city walls. No, stay back! Don’t interfere! And don’t throw magic at your back!

Turning your head away from the Drakes, you could only imagine how this must look to them. Actually, no, you don’t want to imagine it, especially since you know city Drakes are notorious for being negatively biased towards outsiders, including the heroes of their own species.

“I understand, Lord Ainz.”

You flinched as Demiurge turned his attention back to you. A Gate opened up and wraiths poured out, much to the alarm of the Walled City. Demiurge ignored the commotion and gestured with one arm towards the dark swirling portal.

“Our great lord awaits. Do extend every courtesy to him, and don’t try anything foolish.”

Your eyes were locked on the portal. What would you find on the other end of that? Or rather…

_Who_ would you find?

* * *

**Demand**

Ainz had been watching from the Throne of Kings with Albedo in attendance. As the Drake moved towards the Gate, Ainz idly noted that the others in the City were throwing magic and arrows at the messengers. Whether or not they accepted the temporary ceasefire, he trusted Demiurge to handle the situation.

Putting away the Mirror of Remote Viewing, he waited for the doors to the Throne Room to open. Sebas had been instructed to wait in the Lemegeton and Ainz had been quick to inform him of an incoming guest. Albedo stood silently near him, now clutching her World Item as they awaited the Drake with information about Momocha.

( _his twin, his **sister** , she might be **alive**_ )

The doors swung open and Sebas let the Drake advance. 

The Drake appeared to be awed by her surroundings, and he wondered if Momocha had told her stories about Nazarick. A part of him is annoyed at the thought of his sister carelessly sharing information, but that part is washed away by the realization that if she did do that then she must have missed this place while she was gone. His non-existent heart clenches at the thought of his sister being as lonely as he had been for the past two years. She wasn’t here in her avatar-form-come-to-life as he was, so was she a human somewhere in this savage land? He’d have to rescue her as soon as possible, and damn the consequences or what the NPCs would think of him for saving a mere human.

Of course, he’d never tell them who she truly was. Hrm. So if his sister was stuck here in human form and he could never tell the Guardians about it, how would he explain Momocha’s continued absence? He’d have to think about that, but first he needed more information.

The Drake was kneeling now.

“I am Ainz Ooal Gown.”

He noticed her claws clench.

“You may raise your head.” She did so, and he took in her disheveled form. Ugh. Her scales were flaking off. Displeased, he nonetheless continued in a level voice. “What is your name?”

Her tail twitched. “I… My name is Ashe Grasstongue. In this life.”

He paused. An interesting addendum. “Then I shall refer to you as Ashe Grasstongue.”

Quietly, he eyed her. She had enough levels to resist Demiurge’s Command Mantra, but she didn’t seem to be powerful. Her legs looked strong, but he was confident in his passive skills. In regards to his sister, considering that she was human and that the NPCs revered the Forty-One, his interrogation of this Drake should be as private as possible.

“Albedo, Sebas. Leave us.”

The butler did not speak, but Albedo was quick to. “Lord Ainz, I don’t think that’s a good—“

( _sister_ )

He glared at her. “ _Albedo._ ”

She flinched and bowed. “Forgive me, Lord Ainz.”

He watched her leave, and Sebas was two steps behind her. The doors opened and closed again, and he was alone with Ashe Grasstongue. His eyes blazed as he turned his full attention to her, no longer holding back.

“ _Where is my sister?_ ”

* * *

**Disclosure**

He still called you sister.

_He still called you sister._

You closed your eyes as Relc’s face came to mind, laughing proudly, but you could remember Suzuki’s smile just as clearly.

You haven’t been Momocha or (Name) for twenty years, so what were you supposed to tell him?

( _your chest aches because there is a diverged path in front of you, one for your dad, and one for your brother_ )

Your silence went on too long, and Ainz loudly tapped the Staff of Ainz Ooal Gown against the floor with a loud clack.

“Answer me!”

When you lifted your head, your eyes were wet with tears that threatened to fall.

( _you left him alone, you **moved on** , but even if you didn’t feel it in its former intensity anymore, you remembered how much you had loved him_

_but you also know how much you love Relc **now**_ )

“I never meant to abandon you all alone, but I died, Suzuki.

“I died…”

* * *

**Dismay**

Disbelief slammed down on him as his human name echoed in his mind. 

No.

How?

The Drake— _the imposter_ —closed her eyes.

“It happened on my way to work. A car went out of control—“

He knew how that finished.

“—and rammed into a crowd of pedestrians.”

She nodded, still not looking at him.

“But something happened then, something I can’t explain. One moment I was lying in the street, and the next thing I knew, I was staring up at a night sky filled with stars, something I had only ever seen in Yggdrasil. There were Drakes and Gnolls around me, though I didn’t know that’s what they were called. My wounds were too much and I died not long after.”

Her eyes cracked open as she stared at the carpet. “And then I was born again. I was inhuman and somehow alive again.” 

Her claws clenched tight on her knees.

“ _And I didn’t want to be._ ”

Her voice wavered.

“You weren’t there. I knew that I had lost you, that it was unlikely that I would ever find you again. Can you imagine, dying, but only to live again with the memories of the life you just lost?

“Of the people you left behind?”

He remembers the denial, the anger, and the bitter acceptance. He remembers crying on her bed, crying into the clothes hanging in her closet.

He remembers the tearing void inside, the maelstrom that threatened to swallow him whole when reality sunk in that she was gone forever.

But at least he had been in familiar territory.

He shook his head, unable to accept this.

“ _No._ You seem almost or even fully grown for what you are. My sister has only been dead for two years.”

Her head snapped up with a wide-eyed gaze. “What? No. I-I’m twenty now. I’ve been dead and away from you for twenty years!”

They stared at each other, unable to comprehend the time difference, and then a horrible thought struck him.

“You… you moved on from me, didn’t you?”

* * *

**Replaced**

It sounded like a horrible accusation and not even his undead voice could conceal the hurt in his words.

But wasn’t that the truth?

Relc was your father, your _family._ He has been a part of your life, this life, from the very start, and you want him to be a part of it until the very end, even if all that’s left by then are memories of him. He was the one who led you out of despair when you were first reborn, and he was the one that came to mind when you thought of ‘home’. Relc was your dad, and you loved him the most out of anyone.

“When I realized that I was an infant again, I knew that I didn’t want to live without you. You were my brother, my protector, my reason for living. If you weren’t with me then what was the point?

“But…”

You recalled the memory of Relc’s crying face, of the way he towered over you and the way your tiny body was gently cradled against him.

“My father in this life, he tried so very hard to make me live. I was dying, slipping away back into death, and he… It pained him to the point of tears. You were lost to me, Suzuki, and he was afraid that I would be lost to him.

“I didn’t love him, but I pitied him. I took the place of his second child and was selfishly killing them in front of him. I pitied him, so I lived. I have grown up as his child, and I have long since accepted him as my father, as my _dad_. My mother and my twin sister in this life could not compete for the places held by our mother and by you, but there was no one for Relc to compete against. And now, after all this time in this life of Ashe Grasstongue…

“ _He_ is my reason for living.”

* * *

**Selfish**

No.

“ _No._ ”

He released the Staff of Ainz Ooal Gown and flew down from the Throne of Kings to tightly grasp his sister’s shoulders. She gasped as the force in his hands and recoiled from the red fire blazing in his eyes. He bellowed, anger and pain overwhelming his emotional repression.

“NO! You are _my_ sister! You are _my_ family!”

( _his sister, his twin, his family—no, no, no, that stranger can’t have her, he won’t let anyone **take her away again**_ ** **)****

He hauled her up from the floor. His undead status forced his rage down, but his grief and jealousy erupted from him as he roared in her face.

“ **You are _mine!_** ”

It’s only after he’s had a second to see the fear in her eyes that he lets go and staggers back. His emotions are flat-lined again, but shame and guilt are quick to well up.

“I… I am sorry, (Name). I didn’t mean to…” He clenched his bone hands tightly. “I apologize if I’ve hurt you. But, little sister, I mean it. You are mine, and I won’t let you go. Not again. I can’t… I’m not…”

His skeletal body has no biological functions, so he cannot cry.

( _she was going to leave him, he can’t let her, not again, not again—_ )

No matter that she’s a Drake or that she loves someone else, _this is his sister._

Stepping forward, he knelt before her and felt his chest clench as she hunched inwards, wary of him. Reaching out, he pulled her into an embrace and wished he had a heartbeat to make her listen to.

“(Name), Momocha, _little sister_ … I’m not strong enough to lose you again.” 

He tightened his grip, feeling the life in her Drake body. He’d lost his own since coming to this world, so he didn’t hold it against her that she wasn’t (Name) or even Momocha in appearance. She knew who he was and wasn’t memory the most important thing?

( _she was five, she was eleven, she was sixteen, she was twenty-two, she was twenty-nine, she was thirty-four, she was missing, he thought her **dead—**_ )

“You had twenty years to let go of me, to let someone else take my place, but sis…”

His disembodied voice cracked.

“It’s like you died only yesterday.”

* * *

**Deal**

Staring at the white bone and the darkness inside his empty ribcage, your heart felt like he was trampling it. His pain is fresher than yours and it hurts him more.

Your poor brother is in _pain._

Twenty years has made him a stranger to you, but once he was the person closest to you, the only one who had mattered. He had been your world, the reason you got up and trudged through each day.

You moved your arms to lift them—

“Will he still love you when he knows?”

—and froze, eyes widening as his words sunk in.

“You came to the defense of Pallass. All alone, you made an army pause, one comprised of undead and two inhuman champions. Can you really leave this place and go back to them without raising suspicions? Will you be allowed to go back to your life before today?”

You face crumpled because you knew the answer like you knew that the sun would rise each day.

No. No matter what happens after this, you will not be allowed to go back to your carefree life. 

Drakes… Drakes do not forgive. You have been one for twenty years, and ever since you went to Pallass and the other Walled Cities, you have learned that Drakes are largely unbending. Drakes are stubborn, prideful, and arrogant. You could be hounded, imprisoned, maybe even tortured. What answer could you give for knowing this place or this undead overlord?

One way or another, you would be slandered. Your reputation will plummet. Not even a hero like Zel Shivertail could avoid that, so what chance did you have?

Could you keep the truth from Relc forever? Even if you never told him about your previous lives, everyone would know that you have secrets, powerful ones that could influence an undead army and a powerful dungeon’s master. If he asked, you would be unlikely to answer.

The walls were already going up. The distance between yourself and your dad would grow from this day forth. He’s not the most responsible, he skips patrol to nap on rocks, and likes to participate in bar fights instead of stopping them, but at the end of the day he’s a male who answers to the Drake hierarchy of command when ordered.

He would ask, and when you refused or dodged his questions, he would grow suspicious.

Resentful.

At some point you’ll have to confess the truth, whether to him or to the one who will torture you. He’ll find out about what you are, that you took the place of what should have been his _real_ youngest child.

Relc would not love you then.

( _he cried for Ashe, not you_ )

You can feel your world crumbling out from under you, but there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Nazarick is here and Nazarick is powerful. If affection for (Name) and Momocha was all that stood between Relc and horrors of Nazarick then it was up to you to capitalize on that.

Even if Relc hated you in the end, it was still up to you to protect him from Ainz Ooal Gown.

Ainz leaned back so that his gaze met yours.

“He might not love you after he finds out, but sis, I promise you: I will always love you no matter what form you take. You will always be _my sister._ ”

You started crying again, face wretched as you kept his gaze.

( _you had your brother again, but you were losing your dad in exchange_ )

“I will never leave you again, but please. Please spare Liscor, my father Relc, and my sister Embria.”

The red fire burned brighter.

“I promise. If you will stay with me, I promise you that.”

* * *

**Result**

The battle for Pallass never started.

The Walled City abided by the so-called ceasefire in order to get time to prepare and move the wounded, but the undead and the two commanders never made an aggressive move. The Drake from earlier was gone and had yet to reappear, and somehow that meant that the invaders would wait for something. New orders, perhaps? No one in the city knew, but they did take milk the opportunity to muster their forces.

Time passed, strained and tense as the air charged with energy. The attack had been sudden, almost immediately after those monsters flew in from above. The Drakes of Pallass felt their blood boil as they stared at the gaping hole in the prided home.

The Lords of the Wall had called for help, and Liscor, being closest and connected by a magic door, would be first to arrive. Word came that they were almost ready to come through the door, but before Liscor could come, before the battle for the Walled City could even begin, the one in red clothing suddenly sprouted wings and flew forth.

The only reason he was not attacked was because the undead army turned and began marching back to the Blood Fields. The demon flew close and before disappearing announced something enigmatic.

“Lord Ainz Ooal Gown accepts the life of Ashe Grasstongue.”

He was gone then, and the undead were far away. The blue mutant Antinium marched behind them before he too disappeared, though he walked into the same kind of dark portal that took away the grey-scaled Drake. Some of the Lords wanted to attack the undead army from behind, but in a grudgingly impressive show of magical power, the undead army marched into another dark portal and vanished.

What just happened? What did Ashe Grasstongue do?

Regardless, in light of the damage done to their city, Pallass did not want peace.

The dungeon would _pay_ for its assault, for the destruction of the city wall, and nothing would change that.

**Nothing.**

* * *

**Inexplicable**

Liscor was the closest city to Pallass and connected by a magic door, so the Watch was scrambling to assemble at the crazy Human’s inn to use her magic door to get to Pallass. The small Mage’s Guild had been mobilized, and the Watch had conscripted all mages to help power the door. They were gathered. They were ready.

Then, suddenly, they were informed that the assault on Pallass was over, that the undead army had pulled back. In fact, the battle hadn’t even started.

Pallass was demanding answers and insinuating that Liscor was involved with the Great Underground Tomb of Nazarick. Liscor denied any such connection but had no answers for why the life of Ashe Grasstongue was worth a Walled City to the dungeon master Ainz Ooal Gown.

Relc Grasstongue hadn’t asked why the Guardsmen weren’t needed at Pallass anymore and didn’t seem to care enough to ask. No one wanted to tell him why, either, not when nearly everyone in Liscor knows that he adores his daughter to the point where he would pick a fight with Klbkch of the Free Antinium.

On the other claw, Embria Grasstongue knows because she demanded answers as fitting her rank. There had been little choice but to tell her, and now the young Wing Commander had that burden on her shoulders.

Liscor was unaware if Ashe Grasstongue had any prior connection to the dungeon in the Blood Fields. As far as anyone knew, she hadn’t been home since before it appeared. The only value Liscor could place on her was her worth as a Courier with the special Skill that let her jump on air, plus the fact that she was the favorite daughter of the strongest Senior Guardsman in Liscor, if not the world.

Then it was Liscor demanding answers from Pallass.

What happened? What led to Ashe Grasstongue giving up her life for Pallass? What were Pallass’s plans going forward? What was the estimated strength of the undead army and the two commanders who appeared?

But Pallass left the communication spell.

None of the other Walled Cities were pleased. They were worried. The fact that Pallass’s wall had fallen had been communicated shortly after it happened, so if Nazarick could do that to one Walled City, it wasn’t farfetched to think they could do it to another. 

If Pallass survived, it would be acknowledged as a Drake city, but if its wall could not be repaired then it has lost its status as a Walled City.

( _while Liscor and the Walled Cities argued, the Wing Commander in her came to a decision_

_it wasn’t long before the sister and daughter parts of her soon agreed, if only that he wouldn’t have to hear it from someone else_ )

* * *

**Burdened**

She found her father at that crazy Human’s inn. No doubt he didn’t even leave after the rest of the Watch was called back to the city. Even _that Antinium_ was here, though she knew his kind hadn’t been called to Pallass’s defense.

Her father was drinking and talking loudly when he wasn’t. His back was facing the door, facing her, so he hadn’t noticed her yet. Erin called attention to her, and she saw her father flinch before looking over at her warily to offer a tentative wave. She waved a claw at him, silently beckoning him. She saw him sigh before he stood up.

( _if she had been Ashe she knows he would have smiled and come over with light feet, and she knows because everyone in Liscor can’t seem to stop comparing how he reacts to her as compared to her little sister_ )

“Hey, kid,” Relc greeted, scratching the back of his head. “What’s up?”

“I need to talk to you.”

He glanced over his shoulder where _that Antinium_ was still sitting. “Can it wait?”

“It’s about Ashe.”

His head snaps back in her direction.

( _it hurts just how quickly he gives her his attention when it’s her little sister in question_ )

“What about her? Is she hurt? I got those messages from Oteslia too, but they said she left, right? She’s probably on her way home, so…”

( _to him, to the only one she’s ever run to when she’s in trouble, the only one she confides in, the only one out of their whole family that she **picked to love—**_ )

Embria closed her eyes for a moment and forced down her bitter feelings. This wasn’t the time. He didn’t need her riding on his tail, not with the news she had to tell him.

She waved him over to a distant table, as far from the others as she could get. Erin came over and Embria cut her father off, telling the Human to bring them her strongest alcohol. The Human glanced at Relc and got a shrug in return so she left to get their drinks.

“What’s going on, Embria? You hate it when I drink.”

She couldn’t stop the pity from showing on her face.

“You’re going to need it.”

* * *

**The heart wants what it wants, Dolp. You don't plan on making your life complicated, it just happens, and you don’t do it on purpose, and you don't do it to hurt people who love you. It just turns out that way sometimes.**

**~Laurell K. Hamilton, Narcissus in Chains ******


	12. Chapter 12

**Difference**

_‘Dad, I think Ashe is dead. Word from Pallass indicates that she gave her life to Ainz Ooal Gown in exchange for the Walled City.’_

That was how Embria interpreted the information received from Pallass. She also knew that the identity of Ainz Ooal Gown had been shared from Pallass to the rest of the Walled Cities and Liscor. The dungeon master of The Great Underground Tomb of Nazarick was a powerful undead. There was little chance that Ashe was still alive, and even if she was alive at the moment, Embria didn’t believe that would be the case for long.

Now, as she watched, something died in her father’s eyes as her news sank in.

Embria has always known that Ashe was their father’s favorite. Back when they were hatchlings, unless Embria ran to him, Ashe was the first one Relc picked up, the one he anxiously glanced around for until he laid eyes on her. Now, since arriving in Liscor, Embria has heard more than once of the stark difference in how Relc behaved around her as opposed to how he behaved around Ashe.

Relc was wary of Embria, and always seemed to be nervous or on edge around her. Around Ashe, he was happy and unguarded. While most bars would accept Embria or Relc alone, together was another story, and yet Ashe and Relc were barred only from a single bar when together. Embria couldn’t tolerate Klbkch the Slayer, but Ashe has had him over for dinner with their father more than once. Relc talks about Ashe every day, but he almost never mentions Embria unless asked. Most people know Relc has a daughter and her name is Ashe—so Embria is a surprise to quite a few because Relc has never crowed her name like he crows Ashe’s.

Liscor knows Relc adores his daughter Ashe and is wrapped around her claw even in her absence.

Liscor is vaguely aware that Relc has two daughters, but he couldn’t treat them more different than if they were night and day.

Intellectually, Embria knows her father cares about her, that he tries to understand her. However, that is overshadowed by the fact in her mind that Relc loves Ashe freely and without reservations, and that Ashe loves Relc in the same manner. They are close in a way that Embria has never experienced, and if she’s honest with herself, she’s jealous.

Embria is jealous of Ashe, and a part of her even resents her twin, blaming her for their father’s retirement from the army, but she derived no pleasure when she first received the report from Pallass. She has never understood Ashe, but she never wished her sister dead. Even now, she derives no pleasure from seeing the news hit home with her father. She doesn’t feel the slightest enjoyment in knowing that now she has no competition, that her father no longer has Ashe to favor.

If anything, Embria is angry at Ashe. How dare her younger sister interfere when she wasn’t a [Soldier] or even an adventurer?

( _how dare Ashe do this to their father?_ )

But she says nothing more to him at the moment, and when the Human returns with their alcohol, she has to reveal more than she’d like in order to make the Human go away.

“Relc? Are you okay?”

“Go away, Human. This is between us.”

Erin frowned, unconvinced. She waved a hand in front of Relc’s face. “Relc?”

Embria growled. “ _Human._ ”

The innkeeper turned her head to glare. “I have a name, you know. It’s Erin.”

She didn’t acknowledge this fact. Instead, her tail thrashed as she hissed. “Leave him be and just quietly bring us alcohol.”

They paused and stared as Relc suddenly grabbed his mug and drained it. Dribbles slid down the sides of his mouth, and after draining the mug he nearly slammed it on the table. He eyed Embria’s and she slid it over to him without a word.

She ordered the Human, “Bring us more.”

Erin didn’t move. “What happened?”

Seeing that the Human wouldn’t leave unless she was told something and suspecting that her father really didn’t want to talk to anyone right now, Embria grudgingly relented.

“His youngest daughter is probably _dead_. What he needs right now is alcohol and to not be pestered by a nosy Human, okay? Now just… go get him some more alcohol.”

The Human looked stricken. “What? Oh, oh _no_. Relc…”

Embria hissed as the female reached towards her father. “ _Human._ If he means anything to you, you will not intrude on his grief right now.”

She frowned unhappily but ultimately withdrew her hand and left, hopefully to get more alcohol.

Embria huffed as her father set down the second empty mug. She looked at him and felt something clench unpleasantly in her gut.

Relc had a thousand-yard stare. She couldn’t imagine what he must be thinking or feeling.

* * *

**Comprehending**

Embria’s words sank in and Relc immediately tried to deny it.

( _he instantly remembers her smiling face, in the prime of her life and **alive**_ )

No, Embria must be mistaken. Ashe was fine. Ashe was far away from Pallass.

But she’d been on her way home, hadn’t she? Something happened to her in Oteslia, something that made his youngest curl up in a room, unresponsive to the world until one day she just suddenly left and was last seen heading north. Whatever had happened, she had finally snapped out of it and decided to head homeward to Liscor ( _to him, because somehow seeing him made the world better for her_ ). She would have stopped at Pallass because she almost always stops at Pallass whenever she comes back.

His youngest hates battles, hates wars. She never said it outright, but he knows she became a Runner for speed, for the abilities to run from danger. So why, why would she interfere at Pallass?

( _he told her to run away if it meant coming home to him, so **why?**_ )

Reports could be wrong and he wasn’t interested in reading them if he could get out of it, but the ones from Pallass were recent, and of course Embria would read them. Of course Embria would double-check before even thinking of telling him. The twins aren’t close, and he suspects they don’t get along, but he can’t imagine them wishing the other dead, not when they both know that they’re important to him.

So if Embria is telling him that Ashe might be dead, then Ashe might really be dead.

( _her image flashes through his mind, from a small hatchling to the last time he saw her disappearing into the crowded street intent on heading south again_ )

He was informed of Ainz Ooal Gown, along with the rest of the Watch. They were closest to The Great Underground Tomb of Nazarick, and it was deemed that they should be informed of the news that came out with the Mist Scales. They were told of the horrors within, but that was par for the course for dungeons. The master, however, was another story. 

Ainz Ooal Gown was an undead, the king of his realm. A skeleton draped in black robes with red fire in his sockets, he wore a crown and commanded a legion of monsters, many of which were unseen before. His presence was dark and foreboding, and the Mist Scales swore on their lives: Ainz Ooal Gown was the embodiment of _death._

And he took Ashe in place of Pallass because she offered herself.

That little _fool._

* * *

**Undisclosed**

“Klbkch?”

He politely acknowledged Erin. “Miss Erin. Do you require my assistance with something?”

She frowned, glancing back at Embria and Relc’s secluded table. “In a manner of speaking…” She looked back at him. “Did… did you know Ashe?”

“I am acquainted with Miss Ashe, yes. Whenever she returns to Liscor, I am often invited to dinner, or dragged by Relc if I decline.” He glanced over at his subdued partner and quickly put the pieces together. “Ah. I presume Wing Commander Grasstongue has brought unfortunate news regarding Ashe’s mortality?”

Erin nodded glumly. “Sort of? She said it was likely that Relc’s youngest daughter was dead. She didn’t say it was definite, just likely, but…”

They both looked over at Relc who was now staring into his mug. Embria caught Erin’s eye and waved for more. Klbkch didn’t think it was a responsible thing to ply a grief-stricken Relc with alcohol, but he had learned that Drakes and Gnolls would sometimes use alcohol a numbing agent. Considering the depth of affection Relc held for Ashe, alcohol was probably the thing he wanted most at the moment.

“I see,” he said. “While I do not consider it wise, I defer to Wing Commander Grasstongue’s recommendation. After all, she is his daughter and likely understands his grief better than you or I.”

“I guess,” Erin said unhappily. “Well, I’ll get him some more booze...”

She left, sounding uncertain of her choice, and he caught Embria’s eye after Erin moved out of the way. The female Drake glared darkly at him but soon returned her attention to her father. Relc now had his head in his claw, posture bent. Anyone could look at their table and know that something had happened, and most would probably correctly guess that a death had occurred.

Sitting back in his chair, Klbkch wondered if Ashe truly was dead. If she was, should he inform Relc of her [Reincarnate] class? If he knew Ashe was likely to have taken another form with her memories intact, would Relc derive solace or despair from that?

As Erin briefly returned to their table to drop off more mugs and pick up the empty ones, Klbkch decided he would wait and see what his partner’s response to grief was. There was also the matter of Drake wills to take into consideration. He knew for a fact that Ashe Grasstongue made a will on her second to last visit to Liscor, so it was a possibility that she left the information about her class to Relc. Patience would be his course of action for the moment.

( _he stayed and watched, and when the time came he helped drag Relc home despite Embria’s insistence that she could do it alone_

_maybe she could, and while Klbkch’s ultimate loyalty was to his Hive, he still considered Relc a friend_

_and friends helped each other, didn’t they?_ )

* * *

**Tail**

The first thing Ainz did after it was agreed that you would be staying was to send you off to the baths with an escort. He had asked Sebas for Narberal at first, but then noticed your shaking head. He then said Solution, then Lupusregina, but discarded each name because you shook your head. When he said Yuri, you stopped shaking your head because of the Pleiades mentioned so far, she was the first one with a Good rating on the Karma scale. True, Shizu was also on the Good end of the Karma scale, but Ainz said Yuri’s name first.

( _that was everyone’s name, but they’ve been dead to you for twenty years so you didn’t have the right to ask him why he had taken it as his own_ )

It was amazing to see Nazarick in real life. Seeing onscreen just didn’t compare. And yet, you didn’t derive much pleasure from seeing the place, not like you would have if this had happened even eighteen years ago. The baths were a marvel, but you couldn’t really enjoy them, and the reason for that was two-fold: one, being here meant that you couldn’t go home to Relc, and two, Yuri had been ordered to stay with you and assist you in any way you might require.

“I can wash myself,” you tried, silently pleading for her to go away.

Yuri’s glasses glinted. “I’m afraid that is impossible. Lord Ainz instructed me to assist you, and that includes helping you clean yourself before getting into any of the baths.”

She plowed right over your feeble excuses, and eventually she was scrubbing your dead scales from your back. It was always humiliating when your scales flaked, and you preferred to clean yourself when that happened, but here you were being scrubbed down by a Dullahan.

…Huh. Speaking of Dullahans, hadn’t you heard that they were covered in armor? Yuri was the only Dullahan you’d ever seen or heard of, so back when you first learned that Dullahans were in this world, it had been slightly difficult to reconcile yourself that they wore head-to-toe armor. Now it was slightly difficult to reconcile yourself that Yuri was a Dullahan who didn’t wear armor.

You stiffened when you felt Yuri’s hands at the base of your tail and you spun away from her. “I-I can do that part myself, thank you!”

Yuri was stern. “Sit down and let me finish.”

Heat rushed to your face, making your grey scales color slightly. There was probably no way out of this except to be blunt. You clutched your tail and averted your eyes.

“Look, Miss Yuri. For Drakes, touching tails can mean many things. Touching tails with another could be a sign of affection or reassurance, or even lust. It all depends on the Drakes in question and the general mood. But _touching_ a grown Drake’s with your hands is akin to giving them a hand job.”

Yuri didn’t say anything for a long moment. “…I see. Very well, you may clean your tail on your own, but I fully expect you to be thorough before you even _think_ of getting into the bath. Is that clear?”

You quailed under her stare. “Y-yes, of course…”

Mercifully, she left you alone then, and you proceeded to finish scrubbing yourself down. When no more scales flaked off you, you rinsed off before heading to the bath. You couldn’t stop a groan from escaping you as you sank your sore body into the hot water. Slowly, your muscles relaxed and you could feel your fatigue seeping away.

It was quiet in the bath, and you were left alone with your thoughts.

( _dad_ )

Quietly, without any witnesses, tears dripped down your face and into the water.

* * *

**Backstory**

Ainz sat upon the Throne of Kings as the Floor Guardians and Sebas knelt before him. Albedo was closer to him, but she too was kneeling. None of them were looking at him yet and although Albedo had glanced at him, he kept them waiting.

Suzuki Satoru was panicking, wondering how he was going to explain Ashe-Momocha to them. The only silver lining was that his sister wasn’t a human.

“You may rise.”

Albedo, Sebas, and the Guardians rose, their gazes directed on him and him alone. By now, they might all know about how Momocha might still be alive. The shining eyes of Aura and Mare seemed to indicate that might be the case, but they held their silence as they waited for him to either confirm or deny the rumor.

“As you are all aware, the attack on Pallass was set to take place today. The first phase of the plan was completed, and Pallass now stands with a gaping hole in their city wall. Demiurge, you did well.”

The demon smiled widely. “You are too generous, Lord Ainz. I merely did what was expected of me in accordance to your grand plan.”

“Umu.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “Before the army could advance and begin the attack, Cocytus noticed a lone figure rapidly approaching. Demiurge thought it might be a messenger, so I deigned to wait. What was a few minutes more before the might of Nazarick?”

The Guardians heartily agreed. He waved a hand for silence.

“As you all know, many of the Forty-One… departed from Nazarick.” This was a sore point, and grief flashed over some of their faces. “I know of only one who died—my sister, Momocha. She had been away from me and was stolen. She was kept from me.”

A heavy silence fell as he remembered the days when he still held hope that she was alive and would return again someday. Bitterness laced his voice as he remembered the day he gave up on that dying hope.

“She was murdered.”

( _because she would never have willingly abandoned him, because the driver had almost as surely killed her as he had killed others_ )

This time the Guardians expressed _rage._ Aura yelled for the immediate motion that they find her murderer and kill them. Mare darkly nodded his agreement and the others chimed in their support.

He glared at them, dark aura flaring.

“Do you think I haven’t already extracted revenge?”

( _he hadn’t, not Suzuki who nearly wasted away, but Ainz Ooal Gown could be nothing but perfect, and that meant lying to them_ )

They quailed and asked for his forgiveness.

Releasing his aura, he solemnly continued spinning his tale.

“The universe conspired to keep her from me and flung her into a realm far beyond Yggdrasil. Time separated us, and for her it has been twenty years since she was last home in Nazarick, while for myself only two have passed.”

They were enthralled, for this was the first time they were learning of what happened to one of the Supreme Beings who had left them.

“Murdered, thrown from her realm, stripped of both form and magic… my sister has endured much.”

Tears trembled in the eyes of the twins.

He clacked the Staff of Ainz Ooal Gown against the floor.

“But I know her no matter what form she takes! I would know her if she were a flower on the side of a road…”

( _they admired him and felt their hearts moved_ )

“Her trials may have eroded much of her affection for Nazarick, for where were the Forty-One when she was suffering?” 

His voice became solemn in self-recrimination, and he almost seemed to be asking himself.

“Where was I?”

They couldn’t bear to hear him blame himself.

Aura cried out, “It was not your fault, Lord Ainz! Her murderer is to blame!”

“T-that’s right,” Mare agreed. “L-Lady Momocha surely knows that!”

“I’m sure Lady Momocha understands that you are not to blame,” Albedo said fervently, leaning towards him. “She would never want you to blame yourself!”

“You do not understand,” he replied, silencing them. “I was her brother, her protector. I should have been there to save her. Do not make excuses for me when I do not make them for myself.”

( _it should have been him instead of this ‘Relc’ _)__

He waited as they apologized, and finally decided to just drop the bombshell on them.

“Momocha lives, but she lives as a mortal.”

Ainz could almost see the horror on Demiurge’s face as he put two and two together.

“Lord Ainz…” The Guardians turned their attention on the demon. “That Drake, Ashe Grasstongue, is she… is she Lady Momocha?”

He nodded.

“She is.”

( _they exploded in noise, horrified and stunned_ )

* * *

**Fraud**

Yuri had taken away your clothing and belongings, replacing them with a gold-threaded white robe that, thankfully, wasn’t see-through. It was awkward walking around commando, but they simply didn’t have the kind of underwear you needed to wear because of your tail. So now you were clean and otherwise presentable, but you had been taken to Ainz’s quarters as per his instructions.

Your stomach had growled earlier, and Yuri left to get food, though not before she warned you not to wander or go further into Lord Ainz’s rooms. Looking around and seeing the opulence surrounding you, you couldn’t help but marvel at the detail put into this place. [Perfect Recall] helped you remember your own rooms, but those memories were of a place in a screen, not real life like this. Would you be able to take up residence in Momocha’s quarters, or would you have to live here instead?

Fatigue settled heavily over you and you couldn’t keep it back any longer. Sighing heavily, you settled down onto the couch and carefully rearranged your robe to maintain your decency. Torn between wanting to sleep and not wanting to be unconscious in this place, you remained awake and exhausted. Your stomach growled again, and when the door opened, you hoped it was Yuri returning.

Ainz stepped into view, pausing at the sight of you, but he entered the room and closed the door behind him. He stood there for a moment before walking over to sit opposite of you, and you sat up.

“…I told them who you really are.”

You frowned and stared at your folded claws on your lap. “Why?”

“Because you will be living here, and I don’t want them to treat you harshly or look down on you. Momocha, you are one of the Forty-One, and this new form of yours doesn’t change that.”

“It should,” you replied, folding your arms. “I died—“

“But you _remember._ You remember me, and Nazarick, and our friends. You can’t say you don’t, not anymore.”

He was quiet for a moment.

“Sis. They’re probably going to call you Lady Momocha from now on. Respond to them when they do. They look up to the Forty-One as Supreme Beings. You must act in accordance to their expectations.”

“I will be polite and civil,” you responded. You lifted your claws, showing him the back of them. “But I am not what I was back then. I do not have the healing magic that made Perorocino call me the Revival Angel.” You lowered your claws. “I have no right to be called Momocha.”

The silence before he spoke again was an agreement in itself.

“You may not have that magic you had back then, but you have the memories. You know you were Momocha once. You know that I am your brother and the guild master. Sister, you are home at last. Forget the life you had before today, the mundane motions you had to go through just to survive. You will never want for anything ever again.”

That’s not true.

You want to go home to Liscor.

To Relc.

( _because you’ve already done your mourning for Suzuki, but losing Relc will be fresh and all the more painful for it, and while he’s still alive you will always want to go back to him_ )

* * *

**Soda**

Ainz finishes telling you the story he came up with to explain your current physical form, and while you have to wonder why he wouldn’t stick to something simpler, you can’t help but agree that you don’t want to tell the NPCs the truth, that Ainz and Momocha were originally ordinary humans. After all, many of the NPCs were given the backgrounds of hating humans, and Nazarick was a place for heteromorphic beings, so revealing your origins was right out.

Yuri returns then, with a cart of food and respectfully acknowledges Ainz. She steps out of the room again after setting out the food for you, and Ainz stands up to leave you.

“Stay here,” he said. “Explore all these rooms if you like, or even choose something from the wardrobe to wear, just don’t leave this place. The ceremony for welcoming you back will take place tomorrow, so until then I would like to keep you out of sight. The Guardians are still adjusting to the revelation of your existence and the news is leaking down to the other NPCs even as we speak. Aside from Yuri, no one is allowed to enter my quarters during this time. I… I will come back later.”

He bowed and left, leaving you to your meal.

The food was delicious, considering there were only two NPCs capable of cooking, three if you counted Yuri.

…Is… is that _soda?_ You’ve never had it before, deeming it too expensive back Before, but apparently someone had stocked some for the guild.

It’s good and bubbly, but it makes you burp, and it’s not good for your teeth, right? You’ll have to remember to ask for a toothbrush, or permission to go buy a few for yourself. Although, where would you be able to buy them when by now your name will have spread to the rest of the Walled Cities?

Ah. You forgot to ask what happened to Pallass.

…You’re too tired to care right now.

( _he returns to find her sleeping on the couch, and he remembers the times she did that when she was human_

_he carries her to his bed, tucks her in, and ends up watching her for the rest of the night_ )

* * *

**Anguish**

Relc has a hangover the next time he opens his eyes. He vaguely remembers Embria and Klbkch dragging him home, and the fuzzy memory confuses him—Embria _hates_ Klbkch—before reality hammers home again. He remembers why he drank himself nearly unconscious and he wishes he didn’t.

( _his stomach drops out again and something is gnawing at his insides, ripping and tearing, leaving an empty void where his youngest should be_ )

Ashe is dead.

He doesn’t want to get up and face the world when it lacks her presence, but get up he does. He drags himself out of his ( _their_ ) apartment and over to Captain Zevara’s office to ask for the report from Pallass. Z is reluctant to do so, but he keeps staring with bloodshot eyes until she hands it over. Most of the report is the usual military jargon, but eventually he finds the part he needs to read for himself.

_‘…arrival of a grey-scaled Drake… speed of a Courier… spoke to the inhuman commanders of the undead army… disappeared into a black portal… did not reappear… demon in red suit approaches Pallass, army marches back to Blood Fields…’_

_“Lord Ainz Ooal Gown accepts the life of Ashe Grasstongue.”_

There is the cold truth in front of him, the hard facts that denial can’t change. The words don’t move and mercilessly glare at him, mocking him for the hope he held out that Embria was wrong.

Despite drinking hard last night, his throat is parched and his voice is hoarse. “There have been no updates?”

Zevara shook her head. “No, nothing.” She hesitated. “Relc—“

He dropped the report back on her desk, seething at imagined scenarios of his daughter’s death. Did Ainz Ooal Gown torture her? Did he make it quick? What curse did he put on her undead body? Was she one among his ranks now?

( _was she damned to never rest?_ )

_SLAM_

Zevara twitched as he suddenly bashed his fist down against her desk. The wooden furniture let out an ominous crack before falling inwards, broken in half.

“Relc!”

He’s breathing heavily, though not exactly from the show of force just now. Turning on his heel, he stalks out of the Watch Captain’s office and back out into the rain. Zevara tries to make him stop by grabbing his shoulder, but he easily wrenches himself away. Disappearing into the heavy rain, he dimly registers the sound of Zevara yelling behind him.

His captain and surviving daughter expect him to march out of the city and race towards his death on the Blood Fields in red-eyed vengeance, but Klbkch finds him drinking heavily at a bar and silently sits across from him. His eldest isn’t amused when she finally finds him, and she tries to take it out on Klb but Relc snaps at her to leave his buddy alone, to leave _him_ alone. Relc should know better because she stalks off hiding her hurt beneath anger, but he can’t stop himself, and now he’s added another hurt to his eldest.

( _she was fourteen and screamed at him that she couldn’t help not being Ashe, perfect Ashe, his favorite daughter, and she just wants him to look at her for being Embria, and she wants him to come back and not give in to Ashe’s wishes that he retire_

_but it was never because of Ashe that he retired, he just wants to grow old, why can’t Embria accept that when her sister can_

_that’s the wrong thing to say, and she leaves in a storm of anger and resentment, and it will be six years before he sees her again_ )

“I believe the news will spread soon, if it hasn’t already.”

Relc mulishly grunts in response to Klbkch’s comment. Hawk and Ashe are well-known in Liscor for being Couriers, and Ashe is doubly well-known for her unique [Air Jump] Skill and the fact that Drakes will sometimes come from even the farthest Walled City to challenge him for her claw in marriage. Losing Ashe the Sky Walker will pale in comparison to having lost the Tidebreaker, but it will still be said from one end of Liscor to the other.

“Ah’ll kill him,” Relc slurred angrily, slumped forward. “Ah’ll kill that Ainz if I ever lay ehes on him. Let him come to Liscor. Ah’ll… Ah’ll…”

He put a claw over his face as his grief broke the surface.

“My Ashe, Klb. He killed my Ashe.”

“That seems a high probability,” Klbkch said slowly. “However, there has been no body so far, and no undead spotted who fits her description. Perhaps she is still alive.”

He shuddered at the thought. His youngest, trapped in a dungeon with a legion of monsters? No, better she was dead than tortured, and better she went quickly instead of slowly and painfully.

He doesn’t say so, though, and instead settles for throwing back more alcohol.

( _someone comes for Klbkch but his buddy isn’t away for long, which is good, because Relc can’t see straight at the moment_ )

* * *

**Worry**

The Shadow Demons have returned, and Demiurge is compiling their news into a report when Cocytus visits him. Demiurge suspects he knows the reason for his friend’s visit, and he is proven correct within the first two minutes of the other Guardian’s arrival.

“…We. Were. Disrespectful. To. Lady. Momocha.”

He could not deny that. “We were.” He lifted his gaze upwards. “To think that Lady Momocha could not only foil the attempt to fully destroy her, but to also be able to completely conceal her presence from us, even in another form… Truly, the Supreme Beings are without equal.”

Cocytus was distraught. “I. Aimed. My. Weapon. At. A. Supreme. Being. Against. One. Whom. I. Should. Give. My. Life. To. Protect. I. Can. Never. Atone.”

“You are not alone,” Demiurge said. “I too turned my powers against Lady Momocha. I suspect she will punish us after she has been reintroduced to Nazarick tomorrow. All we can do is depend on her mercy.”

“We. Do. Not. Deserve. Her. Mercy.”

“Perhaps not,” he said. “However, I am inclined to believe that she will grant it anyway. I remember from conversations between my creator Lord Ulbert and Lord Ainz that Lady Momocha is self-sacrificial and generous.” 

He paused, recalling something Lord Ainz said about Lady Momocha’s affection being eroded, but decided not to remind Cocytus of that at the moment. He adjusted his glasses.

“We cannot match the Supreme Beings, Cocytus. All we can do is give them nothing less than our best.”

* * *

**Determination**

When you woke again it was to find Ainz watching over you.

“Did… Having you been staring at me all this time?”

He averted his gaze. “N-no.”

A terrible liar, as always.

You sat up and rubbed a claw over your spines from the top of your head to the back of your neck. Not knowing what to say, you latched on to the first thing you had noticed after you regained consciousness.

“Your bed stinks.”

He looked back at you. “Oh? I thought the perfume was a normal thing for a fancy bed.”

“Maybe, but it stinks to me. I mean, actual flowers are one thing, but perfume is another.” You stifled a sneeze. “I can’t believe I slept at all, actually. I must’ve been more exhausted than I thought.”

He tilted his head slightly. “You were absolutely disheveled yesterday. What on earth did you do to get into that state?”

“Well, I ran all the way from Oteslia with barely any rest. I’d heard of the Blood Fields Dungeon, you see, but it wasn’t until later that I heard it was actually The Great Underground Tomb of Nazarick.”

Ainz sounded confused. “But you told me yesterday that this Relc was your reason for living, so why would you rush so desperately back to Nazarick?”

You scratched a claw against the side of your face. “Ah, you see, I wasn’t exactly running to Nazarick because of my past as a guild member. Well, actually, I suppose I sort of was because I remember how powerful this place is with all the NPCs. I was afraid for my dad since Liscor is the closest city. I had hoped that I could convince whoever was here that I was Momocha. It was my intention to plea for Liscor, or at least for my father and my sister.”

He glanced away. “I see…” He sighed. “So you are one of those Runners I’ve heard about?”

“An upgraded version,” you corrected. “I am a Courier, meaning I can run further, faster. For instance, the distance from Oteslia to Pallass is almost four hundred miles, a distance which a Courier can cover in four days. An ordinary Runner would take much longer.”

“So you cannot fly or use teleportation magic?”

You shrugged helplessly. “I can jump on air, but no, I can’t fly or use magic.”

“We will talk of Liscor more later,” he decided, standing. “For now, though, I need to make new equipment for you, something grander than what you wore yesterday. Come, Momocha.”

“Ashe.”

“What?”

“My name is Ashe.” You shook your head, cutting off his next words. “No, Ainz. I was reborn and given a new name. Use it. I use ‘Ainz’ for you.”

He seemed to shrink a little at the slightly accusatory tone in your voice. “I thought taking the guild name for my own would make it easier for any of us in this world to find me. And it worked with you, so why wouldn’t it work with the others?”

You softened, remembering that the guild members had been the only friends he had ever had.

“That’s assuming if they came to this world. My original body did, but died. Perhaps I only reincarnated here because of that. If that is so then you probably shouldn’t count on the same thing happening to the others.”

“It could happen,” he insisted quietly. “I just have to be careful in the future to not needlessly kill this world’s inhabitants. The others could be in this world, like me or like you. I—we’ll only know if we check…”

For a tall and looming undead, he sounds so lonely. You can’t blame him. If your positions had been reversed, wouldn’t you feel lonely and hurt if Suzuki had been the one to move on from you first?

Sighing, you scooted off the bed and stood up. “Alright, you have a point. First though, you mentioned new gear?”

He straightened his posture. “Ah, yes. Come this way.”

( _she is a stranger to him, someone he has to get to know when before they knew each other from day one, but she’s still his sister, and that’s all that matters to him_

_this time,_ this time _he will keep her close, keep her safe, and no one will take her away_

_he won’t let **anyone** take her away_ )

* * *

**We don't get to choose what is true. We only get to choose what we do about it.**

**~Kami Garcia, Beautiful Darkness ******


	13. Chapter 13

**Uncomfortable**

He created dresses for her, ones that made allowance for the tail that was now a part of her body. They were navy, white, and green, with golden threaded patterns, and the one he created directly upon her was the navy-colored dress. For her scaled and clawed feet, he made open-toed sandals. For her tail he made rings of gold, and upon her head a circlet of yet more gold shaped to her head. He bade her to wear accessories he had gathered from the wardrobe she had had as Momocha, and soon she wore a Heavy-Recover Necklace, numerous rings upon her fingers, and even a pair of bracers that boosted her physical defense.

Now, instead of wearing regular clothing, she was dressed in finery and adorned with jewels.

And yet, she gazed at her reflection with a tight expression.

“Are you not happy? The equipment you wear now far outstrips the low-quality materials and items you had before.”

“It’s, it’s lovely,” she said softly, hand tracing the gold chain belt around her waist. “Thank you.”

Then why won’t she meet his eyes?

Awkward silence filled the air between them.

“The ceremony will be in two hours. Step through the Gate when I open it for you, and Yuri will be on the other side.” He moved to leave but paused as he remembered something. “Yuri will also be by soon with your breakfast and some necessities. Use my private bath to brush your teeth and wash your face.”

The sad laugh from her makes him look back. She meets his eyes in a brief glance in the mirror before looking away.

“You used to tell me that every day when we were in middle school. You’d also tell me to use as little toothpaste as possible because—“

He finished for her. “—Because we had to stretch it out. I remember.”

Vaguely, but stronger now that she’d brought it up. They couldn’t afford to a dentist so mother made sure they took care of their teeth, and he kept that up when she was out of the apartment and also later when she passed.

“Yeah…”

She wasn’t looking at him anymore.

He left.

* * *

**Strict**

When Yuri returned with breakfast the first thing you did was ask for your underwear. You sure as hell weren’t going to ask your brother to make you some because some things you just don’t talk about with your male relatives.

( _you’d gotten the facts of life from your fellow female Runners and from overheard snippets of conversation, eternally thankful that Relc never brought it up_ )

You told Yuri that you would need more pairs of underwear, but as you wondered aloud how you would get more, her glasses glinted before she informed you that the Pleiades would create more for you. Making clothing for a Supreme Being, even one sealed away such as yourself, would be their honor. She left, ignoring your spluttering, and said she would be back soon to make sure you were ready for later.

The tone of her voice made you want to make sure you were all in order before she returned for her inspection, so you were, food eaten, face washed and teeth brushed. She approved.

* * *

**Lie**

The denizens of Nazarick were assembled for the ceremony. He had given a brief speech about his sister’s current state and reaffirmed that he accepted her as Momocha’s new form. Grandly, he called for her to come forth.

The doors to the Throne Room opened and revealed her Drake body. Steadily, she walked towards him with her head held high. When she arrived at the stairs, he held out his hand to her. Gracefully, she ascended the stairs and grasped his skeletal hand. She joined him by his side and gazed out at the assembled heteromorphic and monstrous crowd.

She smiled at them with sharp teeth and declared in a raised but level voice that sounded happy.

“Nazarick, I have returned home at last.”

A lie that made them cheer.

Ainz knew better.

* * *

**Competition**

He had taken her and disappeared dramatically after Albedo led the rest into a respectful bow. Their absence was only temporary, to allow for the others to leave the Throne Room while the Floor Guardians would wait for them to return. Leading her by her hand, he made her sit upon a couch in his quarters.

“That went well.”

She nodded tersely, hands folded on her lap.

Sighing, he sat down across from her and let go of the Staff of Ainz Ooal Gown.

“Mo—Ashe, what more do you want from me? I will give you anything within my power, just… please, be happy here with me.”

He nearly whispered that last part.

Before, even though she had moved out to a separate apartment to stop those _rumors_ from spreading, his sister had always been close to him. Even though he had made many wonderful friends in Yggdrasil, she was all he had in person and the only positive physical contact he ever got was from her. They had been thin, but there had been reassurance in each other’s heartbeats, comfort in each other’s touch.

When he finally accepted that she had died after her disappearance… he’d nearly been irrevocably broken. The writhing pain inside from her absence had been his personal hell. How many times had he woken up grasping for her? How many terrible nightmares did he have about her disappearance? She had been the last of his family, the last guild member who still regularly logged in to help him keep Nazarick afloat. She had always been an important part of his world, and to lose her without warning…

No. He won’t let her go again. He won’t risk _losing_ her again.

It still hurts that there is someone she loves more now, but if she stays close to him then surely he will regain the biggest place in her heart. He had held that position before and he can get it back. He can be the most important person to her, the one she loves the most.

But first he has to make her happy.

He honestly doesn’t know how to, though. Before, he never had to try. He’d been Number One in her life ever since mom died and no one had ever threatened his place. Now, in this world, he’d been replaced and ‘Relc’ had had twenty years to solidify his own position.

It probably wasn’t going to be easy, but Ainz was determined.

He would make his sister love him again. She would stay near him and never leave.

They would be together for the rest of her life.

And, when she died, he would try to resurrect her angel form.

Yes. That was the plan. His plan.

( _please love me again, adore me as you once did, that boundless affection I so took for granted_ )

* * *

**Resolve**

Pallass was on the warpath and trying to gain support from the other Walled Cities as well as minor cities. They wanted to contract the Liscorian Army as well and were in negotiations for when the army’s current contract soon expired. Drakes were marching towards Liscor, in preparation for a massive raid on The Great Underground Tomb of Nazarick.

Embria’s tail slowly thrashed behind her as she reread the latest report from High Command. The news had already been relayed to Liscor’s Council and Watch, but she just had to read the report again. Doing so didn’t reveal any new information to her, prompting her to set it down with an aggravated huff.

Her mind wandered back to her father, to the very thing she had been trying to not think about. It hadn’t been even a week since she told Relc that Ashe was likely dead, and he seemed to share her thought because he was doing his best to drink himself unconscious every day since. At most, he was only getting half days done in his duty as a Senior Guardsman and while Captain Zevara tried to get through to him, Relc didn’t seem to care about his duties much at the moment.

As a solider, he had seen plenty of death. From what she heard from others, he wasn’t one to stay down for long after the death of someone he knew. She’d heard about how he’d drank heavily the night after receiving the news of Veryl’s death, but he had gone on with his life rather quickly.

But then, Veryl hadn’t been Ashe.

Embria had heard the story from her mother, of how when Ashe was born she hadn’t had the will to live. It was Relc’s efforts who got through to the new hatchling. He had been the one to give Ashe the spark of will that made her live. As a result, he’d grown instantly attached to her. Growing up, Ashe became attached to him in return. Those two, they hadn’t been ashamed to show their affection for each other. Ashe was Relc’s favorite, and Relc was Ashe’s favorite.

She had been taken, sacrificed herself for Pallass, and was likely dead.

Her death was hitting him hard, in a way that a death hadn’t hit him in a long, long time, and he was trying to drink reality away.

It… it _wasn’t healthy_.

Irate, Embria stood from the chair she had been sitting in and went in search of her father, striding purposefully out into dreary day.

* * *

**Pretend**

It was too troublesome to swim out to Erin’s inn, so Relc confined himself to taverns and bars in the city. Currently he was sitting in a secluded corner, half-empty bottle in his claw as he blearily stared at the table.

He remembers their first day in Liscor and guilt stabs him when he remembers that he told her that she was too old to hold his claw. He hadn’t cared when she was older and ignored his words, so why had he cared then? Disgusted with himself, he took a long drink from the bottle before setting it down. Absently, he wiped at a trickle he felt at a corner of his mouth.

He was wrong to let her be a Courier. He should have talked her out of it, should have kept her safe in Liscor. She was a good cook. She could have found a decent job in the city. Hell, she probably could have opened her own place! He would have eaten there. Every day, probably. She would have been so good at it. She could have easily snatched up a husband then, because what male didn’t like a female who could cook? She’d been a catch as a Courier, but she could have been one too as just a cook. Not that the idea of her getting married was much fun.

( _she had wanted hatchlings of her own_ )

The memory of her other dream besides becoming a Courier made him wince. Closing his eyes, he drained the rest of the bottle but didn’t immediately call for another.

“There you are.”

Squinting, he opened his eyes to look at Embria. She was still alive. That’s good. He doesn’t think he can take the death of his last daughter so soon after the recent one.

“’Bria,” he mumbled.

She scowled, making him close his eyes again. He doesn’t want a lecture. He knows he’s being pathetic, but he can’t help it, okay? He’s never going to see Ashe again.

( _he’d last seen her disappearing into a crowd, ready to head south again, only this time she wouldn’t be coming back_ )

Why didn’t he hug her goodbye? Why didn’t he make her _stay?_

“Enough of this, old man,” Embria said firmly, grasping his thick arm. “Come on, let’s get you home so you can sober up.”

He effortlessly resisted her attempts to get him to stand. “Don’t wanna…”

“You can’t be like this forever.”

“Not f’rever,” he grumbled. “Jus’, jus’ a week or so.” He grabbed and wiggled an empty bottle. “Make it hurt less f’r while.”

Embria’s voice was pitiless. “What would Ashe say if she could see you now?”

He froze, but he knew the answer right away. Embria probably didn’t, so he enlightened her.

“She’d pro’ly say, ‘Dad, I keep tellin’ you: drink an equal ‘mout of water’. O’ly, without the slurrin’, you see? Ashe, Ashe didn’t like drinkin’. Sad drunk, she was. Would cry. Never ‘gain…”

( _she cried about friends and a brother she never had, nonsense he didn’t think about again until just now_ )

“And after that?”

Ah.

“…She’d tell me ta come home and sober up ‘cause I pro’ly have work tom’row…”

“Well come on then.” Her voice cracked ever so slightly. “Pretend I’m Ashe if you have to. Just… stop this drinking binge. It isn’t good for you. Didn’t you say that you want to grow old?”

He did, but right now he’s feeling fresh guilt for making Embria think she had to be her sister in order to get him to move. Ashe is Ashe and Embria is Embria. They don’t need to ask him to pretend they were the other. He’s not… he’s not that terrible of a father, is he?

( _his second daughter made him cry before she could even walk, because he thought he was a terrible enough father that she didn’t want to stay_ )

“Don’t need to be Ashe,” he said a little more steadily, standing up as he did so. He let her put his arm around her shoulders so she could guide him. “It’s fine that you’re Embria.”

She didn’t say anything as they stepped out into the cold grey of the world.

( _she had had grey scales…_ )

* * *

**Giant**

A Runner came sprinting up the street and slid to a stop near them. Panting, he told them that Captain Zevara was calling for all off-duty guardsmen to report to the walls. Message delivered, he ran off in search of more guardsmen.

Both Embria and Relc cursed. Her father pulled his arm away and rubbed his eyes as he tried to shake off the effects of his drinking.

“I need to collect my soldiers,” she told him.

He waved a claw. “Go. I’ll be fine. I gotta get my spear and armor, and then I’ll be reporting to Z.”

She watched him doubtfully for a moment, but eventually his daughter nodded tersely and ran off. 

Scratching the spines on the back of his head, Relc cursed under his breath and staggered off to collect his weapon and guardsman armor. Eventually, he was on the wall and willing away his hangover as he waited for Z to do whatever it was she called them for. Loudly, he complained it better not be Carn Wolves again or he’d get mad. Z yelled at him to shut up, and their exchange lightened the mood slightly.

Then, in less than two minutes, a geyser shot up from the rift leading to the dungeon below. A large furry leg appeared, followed by another, and then the horror revealed itself: a giant Face-Eater Moth.

He muttered darkly under his breath.

“Exactly what I _don’t_ need right now.”

* * *

**Rainstorm**

Narberal, the one currently on rotation to watch Liscor in the Mirror of Remote Viewing, contacted him with a [Message] spell. When she informed him that the city was under attack by giant moths with mouths filled with sharp teeth, he carefully did not react. Instead he calmly excused himself from his sister’s presence and teleported straight to where the Mirror was located.

True to her words, he saw that three giant moths and a thick swarm of smaller moths was attacking the city his sister had all but begged him to protect. Rage made him clench the Staff of Ainz Ooal Gown tightly. How dare these lesser beings threaten to make him a _liar?_

( _she would hate him, she would **leave him** _)__

A fifth giant moth was emerging from a rift in the ground when Ainz opened a Gate.

Narberal startled. “Lord Ainz! You mustn’t go alone!” She pressed a hand to her chest. “At least, allow me to accompany you!”

“No,” he snapped, making her flinch. “Stay and inform Albedo and Demiurge where I have gone. Have Shalltear use Gate to place Cocytus near that rift. _Do not_ let anyone inform Momocha.”

Narberal bowed. “Yes, Lord Ainz.”

His rage had been forced flat by his undead state, but anger bubbled up again as he strode through the Gate. Using [Fly], he stepped out into the sky beyond the swarming moths. A glance told him that there were people on the walls trying to defend the city, and there were also adventurers near the closest building who were holding that area.

“[Creation].”

Magic circles of blue light formed below and around him. The light streamed upwards, a bright beacon in the grey and terror of the monster attack. Instantly the moths’ attention was on him, and they flew towards him like moths to a flame.

An insect invasion numbering in the tens of thousands?

An easy mark on any day, if only one thought to summon rain.

Before the moths could converge in great numbers, ignoring the few who rammed into him and attempted to bite flesh he didn’t have, [Creation] hit its peak and the magic shot off into the cloud above. Immediately, rain poured down in heavy sheets, striking the moths from the sky and negating their advantage of flight.

Using magic to enhance his vision, he saw that the moths were trying to crawl back to the rift to escape the deluge from above. Before he could move to intercept them, a Gate appeared and Cocytus stepped through. A Message came to him and Cocytus’s voice came to his mind.

“[Lord. Ainz. I. Have. Arrived. What. Is. Your. Bidding?]”

“Kill the moths. Avoid killing the adventurers.”

“[As. You. Command.]”

Ainz felt the air grow cold even from this distance.

* * *

**Hazard**

Magic meant that not a single drop of rain hit Ainz as he waited for Cocytus to finish his task. In the time he waited, he dealt with frantic [Message] spells from both Albedo and Demiurge. He reassured them that this was nothing, and instead set them on a different task that would take place tomorrow.

As Cocytus slew the moths, Ainz mused about the rift they had come from. There was a dungeon beneath this area, wasn’t there? If so, what kind of dungeon had moths the size of these? The giant ones were larger than that building on the hill. To get to that size, surely they had been sealed away for many years. Perhaps it was a horde dungeon, a type found in Yggdrasil in which typically housed and spawned great numbers of a particular monster.

…Wait. A horde dungeon near Liscor, the very city his sister wanted to be kept safe? She said she’d stay with him if he spared Liscor, but he couldn’t exactly spare Liscor if it got destroyed.

Ainz resisted the urge to slap a hand against his face.

He was going to have to deal with this dungeon, wasn’t he?

* * *

**Ill-fated**

The blue light appeared again, distorted by the rain but, from what Zevara could tell, it was at the same distance where it first appeared. As she had been focused on the immediate threat of the moths near, over, and on the wrong side of the wall, she hadn’t been paying attention to anything beyond the inn. However, one of her guardsmen had since informed her that a ‘dark portal’ had been seen and that a figure in dark robes had stepped out from it.

The light shot towards the sky again, but this time, instead of summoning rain, the clouds vanished from overhead and sunlight streamed down. Surprised by the sudden light, many of the guardsmen around her were left blinking or squinting. She herself was squinting and took in the scene of the floodplains.

Dead moths were scattered everywhere, and near the rift were mounds of ice. Her blood froze as she recognized the figure near the rift, or at least what she had heard of from the reports from Pallass. It really did look like a mutant Antinium, and that’s the last thing they needed. It wasn’t much comfort to remember Klbkch’s words, that he knew nothing of any such Antinium.

Ah, but worse than that, there in the sky, wreathed in darkness despite the bright light of day…

_Ainz Ooal Gown._

The Mist Scales said the aura made them _fear_ , and now she knows what they meant.

It couldn’t possibly be any other kind of undead, right? The Mist Scales were detailed in their report, and that dark aura and golden staff were key identifying features.

She was frozen in place, trembling, and she sensed that the others were as we—

“ _YOU!_ ”

Scale rot! Relc had [Indomitable Will]. This fear effect wouldn’t hold him!

The large Drake ignored his frozen comrades and continued bellowing from the wall section he’d been stationed at. He thrust his spear in the undead’s direction.

“YOUR FANCY AURA DOESN’T WORK ON ME! YOU TOOK MY DAUGHTER! _FACE ME!_ FACE ME, YOU WRETCHED _BASTARD!_ ”

The Senior Guardsman didn’t have [Loud Voice], but he was still making a good effort in being heard. Struggling to move, Zevara tried to stagger over to Relc but that aura kept pressing down on her. Even without eye contact such as in Skinner’s case, this undead had most of them frozen in place with terror. She saw that at least one guardsman was trying to wordlessly calm Relc down, shaking visibly, but Relc easily ignored him. He bellowed again.

“GIVE HER BACK! _GIVE ME BACK MY DAUGHTER!_ ”

Zevara felt her heart stutter as a dark portal opened up in front of Relc. The Senior Guardsman fell silent and watched, but Ashe Grasstongue did not exit it. Dread pooled in her stomach as Zevara sensed the trap, but she couldn’t speak. Instead, her voice croaked as Relc shook off the guardsman clinging to his arm.

“You don’t scare me, you bony monstrosity.”

With that angry declaration, Relc leapt right into it, and Zevara’s claw just missed him.

The dark portal shut, and just as Zevara managed to turn her head, she saw the blue mutant Antinium also vanishing into a dark portal. Lifting her eyes to Ainz Ooal Gown, she witnessed the moment when black writhing masses spontaneously formed behind them. The ‘messengers’ mentioned in the report from Pallass.

Helplessly, Zevara couldn’t do anything as they flew towards them. If it had been his wish, Ainz Ooal Gown could have used them to easily attack the city behind them, but that wasn’t their purpose. Instead, the many-faced monster spoke in a cacophony of anguished voices.

“ **The Great One claims Liscor under his protection. Liscor has no choice in the matter. The Great One will return on the morrow to meet your leaders. Prepare yourselves to greet him.** ”

They flew off, vanishing into another dark portal behind Ainz Ooal Gown. The undead lord gazed in their direction for a long moment before he too turned and disappeared from sight. The effect of his aura instantly waned from their bodies and the last portal vanished.

The Face-Eater Moths were no longer a threat, but they did not feel relieved. The sun was shining down on them with warm rays, and yet it did nothing to ease the cold that now lingered in each of them.

Relc, the strongest Senior Guardsman had thrown himself into an obvious trap in a futile attempt to get revenge for his daughter’s death. They no longer had his strength to rely on to have their tails.

And tomorrow…

Gritting her teeth, Zevara started yelling orders, startling the Watch into action. Orders given, she stalked off to inform Liscor’s Council to prepare themselves.

Tomorrow, Ainz Ooal Gown would _be back._

* * *

**Guilt and rage, hatred and fear were pathways to weakness and clumsy choices.**

**~Jonathan Maberry, Dust & Decay ******


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, one thing: it occurs to me that I have the timing for this story wrong. Embria comes AFTER the moth attack in canon. To fix this, let's just say that the appearance of the 'Bloodfields Dungeon' added priority to Zevara's request to the army and that's why Embria is already there.
> 
> And done. :D

**Rival**

Ever since his sister told him that she lived for someone else, Ainz had wanted to meet this Drake, this _Relc_. He wanted to see just who had taken his place in her heart. Oh, he would keep his promise to her to spare Relc, but that did little to temper his bitter jealousy.

( _he had grieved for her, still held her memory fresh, they had been so close to each other, and yet he had been so easily **replaced**_ )

He wanted to keep his promise to his sister, but on the other hand, if Relc wasn’t alive anymore then wouldn’t her affection slowly but surely turn back towards Ainz where it belonged? If only Relc wasn’t in the picture…

But then, he had no clue who Relc was, at least, not until someone shouted from the city wall, demanding that Ainz ‘return his daughter’.

It had been a hasty decision, to open a Gate in front of the Drake in question and give him access to the Sixth Floor, but Ainz wanted to talk to this Drake, to see him up close. Who was this Relc and what sort of person was he? Who was this ‘dad’ who occupied so much of his sister’s heart?

Ready to find answers to his questions, Ainz returned to Nazarick.

Soon, very soon, he would meet this Relc face-to-face.

* * *

**Vengeance**

Embria wanted to punch something or scream. No, wait, she wanted to punch something _and_ scream. However, her position as Wing Commander meant that she had to keep tight control of her emotions and the current situation didn’t change that.

Still, she was mad as hell that her _stupid_ old man went and threw himself into an unknown portal simply because it was dangled in front of him.

( _would he have done it for Embria too?_ )

She had been angry with the Watch Captain when Zevara finally told Embria what had happened to Relc. No one else would tell her and the captain only did because Embria had gone looking for her, wanting to know where her dad was in all this mess.

And it was a mess. Drakes and Gnolls were running around, and many were using the magical door at Erin’s inn to escape to Celum. Originally, Drakes and Gnolls wanted to escape to Pallass, but the Walled City wasn’t accepting refugees at the moment, not when the city was still dealing with the aftermath of the destruction of a section of the wall.

Klbkch was going about his duties as a Senior Guardsman, seemingly unaffected by Relc’s disappearance, but Embria didn’t have the energy to confront the monster. She was… tired.

First her mother, then her twin, and now even her father. If Ashe and Relc were dead, then that left only Embria as the last surviving member of their family. She… never really thought about being the last one left. She was alone now, and all she had was her command and the Liscorian Army.

Narrowing her eyes, she clenched her claws into fists and promised vengeance.

When her orders came, she would gladly march against The Great Underground Tomb of Nazarick.

* * *

**Opposition**

An arena lay on the other side of the portal.

Quickly looking around, Relc didn’t see anyone else in the vicinity. Sucking in a deep breath, he bellowed a name.

“ASHE!”

The word echoed but no reply came.

With no reason to stay, Relc swiftly ran off towards an open gate. He had barely crossed to the other side when it suddenly slammed shut, nearly on his tail. Twitching his tail away from the dust, Relc glared upwards and around but again didn’t see anyone.

“Wow! You’re fast!”

A yellow haired and dark-skinned human popped into view from up high. No, wait, this brat had pointed ears, so maybe a half-elf? Whatever, that wasn’t important.

He pointed a claw at them. “You! Tell me, where is Ashe Grasstongue? Where is the Drake with grey scales?”

The smile slipped off the face of the half-elf and dropped into a glare. “Are you trying to take her away? You can’t! We just got her back! I won’t let you!”

“M-me neither!”

Another blond head popped into view, but this one wore blue instead of red. The glare from this one was much softer than the first half-elf’s, but both were clearly of one mind: they weren’t going to let Relc anywhere near Ashe.

He growled and thrust his spear towards them. “I don’t care if you _are_ children. If you mean to stand between me and my daughter, then I will cut you down just the same as that Ainz bastard!”

This time even the mild half-elf gave him a dark glare.

The one in red yelled angrily. “Don’t call Lord Ainz such names!”

The one in blue stammered crossly. “L-Lady Momocha isn’t yours anymore. Sh-she is home now!”

Relc didn’t understand. Who cares about this Momocha person? 

He just wants his daughter back!

* * *

**Decision**

The half-elf in red paused while maintaining hostile eye-contact with Relc. Scowling, they turned to their companion. “We can’t kill him.”

They both seemed deeply disappointed by this.

The one in red glared down at him. “I’m going to open the gate again. Lord Ainz will be here soon. _Don’t_ make him wait.”

They disappeared despite his shouting. True to that one’s words, the gate lifted back up.

Relc really wanted to punch Ainz in his bony face, but right now looking for Ashe was his priority. Still, she was in a dungeon and he was outside, so wouldn’t it be more to the point to go back inside to wait for Ainz?

Looking around, he didn’t know where this place was. There was a forest nearby, but not one he recognized. Searching this place would be pointless, not to mention he didn’t even know the direction Liscor was in from here.

Scowling, Relc stared at the gate with narrowed eyes. Quick as a flash, he darted to the other side but this time the gate stayed in place.

Grumbling, Relc returned to the arena to wait.

This Ainz better not keep him waiting for too long, otherwise Relc was _out._

* * *

**Loss**

Neither Albedo or Demiurge wanted to let Ainz go face Relc alone, but Ainz put his foot down. This Drake was Ashe’s father, the male who raised Momocha’s new body, and Ainz was going to talk to him _alone._ Still, they continued to be vocal until at last he agreed on a compromise:

Cocytus would be sent in first in order to exhaust the Drake. Once the Drake was down, then Ainz would go and talk to him.

Through [Message], Cocytus gave Ainz his reply.

“[It. Would. Be. My. Honor. Lord. Ainz. I. Will. Definitely. Fight. The. Drake. To. Exhaustion.]”

After that, Ainz had the Mirror of Remote Viewing brought to him.

He watched as Cocytus kept his word, easily fending off the Drake for hours until a desperate attack left a single, long scratch upon his otherwise perfectly smooth carapace. 

In the Mirror, the Drake seemed to laugh before he fell to the ground. Cocytus stared for a long moment, and only Ainz’s [Message] to him reminded the Guardian to pick up the magical spear the Drake had brought with him.

When Ainz finally appeared, the Drake chuckled tiredly from his position on the ground.

“There you are, you bony bastard…”

* * *

**Mine**

Ainz stared down at Relc with a pitiless gaze.

“So. You are her father.”

The mention of her gave the Drake the energy to lift his gaze again. He glared with yellow eyes.

“Where is my daughter? What did you _do_ to her?”

Ainz heard fear in Relc’s voice, but not for his own well-being. He felt a modicum of respect for the Drake because at least he considered her before himself, at least in this moment.

“She is alive and well. Of course, she has no idea that you are here.”

Relc sagged against the ground, seemingly relieved for a second, but then he tensed and looked back up at Ainz. “You could be lying.”

“I could,” Ainz agreed. “But, in this, I am not. I have a vested interest in Ashe’s continued well-being and I will dedicate a considerable amount of resources to make sure she is kept safe.”

The Drake clenched his large fists. “ _Why?_ Why is she so important to you? She’s never met you before that day you attacked Pallass, has she?”

Ainz paused for a long moment.

“She is important because I love her.”

( _and when was the last time he told her that? a long, long time before she went missing back in their old world, long enough that it had increased the guilt he felt back then, a heavy regret he had promised many times to correct if she would somehow come home to him again—a promise he has yet to keep, and one that he should_ )

The Drake laughed humorlessly.

“You’re insane if you ever think she’ll love you back.”

Rage made him bellow.

“ _She will!_ If I have to hold her here for a thousand years, she **will.** ”

Relc snorted. “Drakes don’t live for a thousand years. We’re lucky if we reach ninety.”

His undead status made him calm again. 

“I know now that she exists in this world. When she dies and takes another form, I will find her again and bring her home, as many times as it takes. She will love me again.”

“You say that as though she ever loved you in the first place.”

Ainz hissed. “She did. She loved me the most out of anyone. I am her brother, and she will love me again. She only needs time to forget you.”

Relc snarled. “You are _not_ her brother. I sure as hell didn’t contribute to your existence, and neither did Veryl. Ashe only has a sister. There is no _brother._ ”

Ainz merely shook his head. “An accident put her in your life, but before that, she was my sister. Even now, she is still my sister. My twin, my family. _Mine._ ”

“She isn’t.”

The red glow of his eyes blazed but the Drake didn’t stop.

“I don’t know where you get this whole ‘before she was Ashe’ thing you’re talking about, but even if she was your sister in some other life, she’s _my_ daughter now. She is _my_ child.”

The Drake didn’t flinch and neither did he silence himself. Instead, he challenged Ainz.

“She is _mine._ ”

“ **Never.** ”

“ _Always._ ”

They were at an impasse, neither willing to give up on the one they considered their family.

( _he couldn’t let them meet again, not when she clearly loved this Relc more, and not when this Relc clearly loved her in return—he wouldn’t be able to compete, and he doesn’t want to see what kind of look she will make, so these two **can’t meet**_ )

* * *

**Return**

“She was mine _first._ ”

That’s the last thing Relc hears from Ainz before a dark portal opened up beneath him. The next thing he knows he is being unceremoniously dropped out onto wet grass and it’s dark. With tremendous effort, Relc managed to force himself onto his hands and knees. Distantly, he can hear someone shouting something in the distance, but he can’t make out what it is.

He can see that he’s on the hill of Erin’s inn, though, so at least he’s back near Liscor.

Relc knows he’s in no position to swim back to Liscor or even manage the walk on the water bridge and the climb up the wall, so he chooses to stagger over to the inn. He’s nearly there when guardsmen burst out of the inn and he can see Erin’s surprised face over their shoulders. He can’t stop to talk to her, though, because the guardsmen drag him into the inn and then straight into Liscor through the magic door.

He has to make a report to Zevara, but aside from the two half-elves, having a rough gauge on the mutant Antinium’s strength, and reporting that he’d lost his favorite spear, Relc doesn’t have much to add to what they already know. Ainz didn’t mention that he would be back tomorrow (today?), so that’s news to Relc.

Remembering something, he tossed out that Ainz was delusional and under the impression that Ashe was his sister reborn or something.

He wishes he hadn’t said that, though, because Zevara made him sit back down and explain what he meant. It was nearly two hours before he could leave her office, and since no one knew exactly what time Ainz would be returning, he didn’t know how much time he had left to sleep.

When Embria came running up to him, Relc gave her a hug but told her that if she wanted a report then she would have to get it from the Watch Captain because he was _exhausted_. She called him an old man and told him to get some sleep.

He watched her trot off to see Zevara.

( _he had watched Ashe disappear into a crowd_ )

Sighing deeply, Relc tiredly headed home to an empty apartment.

* * *

**Respect**

It was during the meeting with the Guardians that Lord Ainz asked him if he was fine. Cocytus knew his lord was referring to the scratch placed on him by that Drake, so he answered truthfully.

“It. Is. Fine. There. Will. Be. No. Lasting. Damage.”

The meeting continued, and Cocytus could not help but divide his attention. Most of it was on his lord as Albedo laid out the plans for tomorrow’s procession, but a part of him was still focused on the Drake from earlier. Truthfully, Cocytus felt he should be angry at the Drake for leaving a mark on the perfect form granted to him by his creator, but more than that, Cocytus couldn’t help but respect the Drake.

The Drake, Relc Grasstongue, had attacked him futilely for hours, yelling and trying to goad Cocytus into putting more strength behind his attacks. Due to Lord Ainz ordering that the Drake be kept alive, he didn’t respond to the taunts at all. In the end, despite being clearly outmatched, not once did Relc give up or attempt to run away. He had deemed Cocytus as an obstacle between him and his daughter—Lady Momocha trapped in a lesser form—so he had not tried to escape. Instead, the Drake put everything into his last assault, his desperate attempt to thrown Cocytus down—and only ended up putting a scratch on him.

Even down, the Drake hadn’t given a thought to giving up on Lady Momocha. He had laughed, cursed, and promised Cocytus that this defeat wouldn’t stop him. Unless he was killed, Relc would never give up on his daughter.

A warrior’s spirit and a father’s devotion, unyielding and steadfast.

Cocytus… respected Relc.

He could see why Lady Momocha would plead for Relc’s life.

* * *

**Procession**

The alarms went off at the first sign of the undead in the distance, marching towards the city with armor glinting in the sunlight of the still cloudless sky. They marched heedless of the water in the valleys between the hills, and by the time they were within less than a mile, the Watch had assembled on the walls. 

They parted to show Ainz Ooal Gown was present, and then the undead master opened a portal, this one larger than any that had preceded it. From this massive gate came a giant made of stone with red glowing eyes and symbols upon its body. It picked up a massive squared stone from somewhere—possibly from another portal—and flung it towards Liscor, causing a panic on the walls.

The massive stone landed with a heavy shake and threw walls of water into the air. From his spot, Ainz proceeded to cast the same spell that had previously summoned the rain and later parted the endless rainclouds. However, this time he created ice an instant, ice that spread outwards from him and covered so much ground that they couldn’t see where the effect ended. It was a small mercy that the ice didn’t climb the city walls.

At Erin’s inn, several adventurers had come out, possibly to face Ainz or his monsters if they came too close, and now they were chipping the ice near their feet, frozen in place.

The undead marched forward but Zevara and Embria held back attacking. They all watched, incredulous, as the undead in magic armor made a staircase of themselves. Other undead in gold armor lined up in two rows and held up red banners with symbols of them. By this time, Liscor was broadcasting to the other Walled Cities, and all six were in time to see the procession that followed.

Ainz came first, and behind him were seven others, including the mutant Antinium and the inhuman commander in red from the attack on Pallass. Some of his minions were humanoid, but clearly none of them were mere Humans. The smallest was a flying pinkish blob, but Liscor wouldn’t underestimate any monster under Ainz Ooal Gown.

The undead behind the massive stone disassembled themselves and came around to the side facing Liscor to form another staircase. It was a clear invitation, and, reluctantly, Liscor’s leaders and representatives began climbing down the wall to gather at the bottom before making their way over.

The members of Liscor’s council went, as did the guild mistress of the Adventurer’s Guild, the guild master of the Mage’s Guild, Zevara, Klbkch, Krshia—who argued to be present as a representative of the Gnolls in Liscor—and Embria.

Relc had been ordered to stay back, and when he had refused he had been given the alternative of obeying or being put into a jail cell until everything was over. He chose to obey and watched from the wall with narrowed eyes.

* * *

**Conqueror**

When the delegation from the city arrived, Ainz summoned a table and a single chair opposite from himself. That chair was much smaller than the throne he sat on, but it was still far from a plain chair. The implication was clear: only a single one of them would represent them as a whole.

They huddled together to whisper rapidly about who would take the chair. From the corner of his vision, he saw Albedo and Demiurge sneer slightly. That Ainz would speak for all of them was set in stone, and they looked down upon this group that had to argue over who was most important. At last, though, an older Drake with pale green scales sat down. 

Ainz held up his free hand.

“Welcome, Liscor. I am Ainz Ooal Gown of The Great Underground Tomb of Nazarick. Who do you claim as your representative?”

The Drake spoke, a male now that Ainz heard him speak. “I am Hrkss Sharpclaw, one of the longest serving members of Liscor’s Council.”

“Then, Sharpclaw, from today until your retirement or death, I expect to see you when I summon a representative from Liscor. Sickness and death are the only reasons I will accept for your absence. Is this understood?”

The Drake nodded uncertainly. “Y-yes. However, we don’t understand _why_ you are doing… whatever this is.”

Ainz sensed his Guardians bristling, but they held their tongues.

He explained to them.

“I claim Liscor under my protection. Liscor cannot refuse.”

One of the other Drakes burst out, “Why? Liscor doesn’t want _your_ protection!”

Ainz was dismissive.

“That you don’t desire it is irrelevant. Ashe Grasstongue has pleaded with me to spare Liscor, but I assure you that she would accept just her father and sister surviving if it comes to that.”

The female Drake with red scales and a mild resemblance to Ashe glared at him.

“My younger sister would never turn her back on her home.”

“True,” Ainz agreed. He lifted a bony finger. “But answer me this: is her home a place… or a _person?_ ”

Grim silence fell on the Drakes and the lone Gnoll across from him. No one said anything, but Ainz felt his non-existent stomach drop slightly. They all knew the answer to that question, didn’t they?

Just how many people knew that Ashe loved Relc the most out of anyone or anything?

( _did he so truly underestimate her devotion to that Drake by this much?_ )

The same Drake, Embria would be Ainz’s guess, narrowed her eyes at him.

“Liscor is _Relc’s_ home. He would never forgive her if something happened to the city on your orders.”

“But he would live, which is all she wants at the end of the day. She intends to never see him in person again, so his affection for her is secondary to his continued existence.”

Ainz waved his hand. “Enough. The morning grows short, and the day shorter still. We have much to cover. To begin, Nazarick intends to come to Liscor’s aid in the event of monster attacks such as with the Face-Eater Moths or in case of enemy siege. For this, communication needs to be established…”

And so it went.

In the end, Liscor reluctantly and passively accepted his words, but Ainz knew it would be a long time before they could actually accept both him and Nazarick as their protectors. No matter, as long as the city continued to stand with minimal loss of life, Ashe would be content.

As for the Gnoll and the Antinium, other Gnolls and Antinium not of Liscor would not receive the same protection or leniency from Nazarick, regardless of whether or not they had tribe or fellow Antinium in the city. Ashe made no plea for them so he was not inclined to spare any others who moved against him. That went for the Liscorian Army as well, much to Embria’s consternation.

There was only one break, an hour for lunch in which both sides left the area, but otherwise the meeting continued for most of the day. It was late afternoon when the last of the parchments were signed and rolled up, copies on each side written in different languages but Liscor’s was double-checked with magic glasses by Albedo.

Ainz opened a Gate and stood up to leave, but when he did, Embria spoke up again.

“Wait!”

He deigned to look at her. “Yes?”

“I want to see Ashe.”

He eyes flared in displeasure. “Denied.”

She glared and held a claw against her armored chest. “I am not my father. She cares much less for me and we have barely seen each other since he left the army and took her with him. I want to see her. I need to talk to her.”

He remembered his sister’s words. Embria was her twin in this life, but when she had been newly born she was unable to accept Embria in place of himself. This one didn’t pose the same danger that Relc did, and Momocha didn’t say she never intended to see Embria again. If she learned that Embria had asked and that he never considered her thoughts on the matter…

He compromised.

“Come alone to Nazarick. When you arrive, if she wants to see you, I will permit it. Just don’t enter the tomb itself.”

He left, and took the Guardians with him.

( _his sister was quiet again, and wouldn’t meet his eyes, and he wondered if he made a mistake in saying Embria could come here, but at least in that he was confident_

_his sister could love someone else, but she said herself that no one could replace him as her twin_

_so there was little risk in letting Embria come close, if only once_ )

* * *

**You couldn't just pick and choose at will when someone depended on you, or loved you. It wasn't like a light switch, easy to turn on or off. If you were in, you were in. Out, you were out.**

**~Sarah Dessen, Along for the Ride ******


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some minor changes to chapters 1 and 6 made. In chapter 1, it said Relc hadn't been home since before the start of the second war. Incorrect, as he was supposed to have been on the walls during the Necromancer's siege (don't ask me where he said that; The Wandering Inn is so very long). In chapter 6, I delete the scene where Ainz, Albedo and Demiurge watch the Face Eater Moth attack on Liscor because I write about it later only Ainz is taking part as per his agreement with Reader.
> 
> With that said, here's the next chapter.

**Returned**

Cash and Gold didn’t know what to expect when they had been ordered to gather with the rest of the denizens of Nazarick in the Throne Room, nor did they know how to react when they were shuffled close to the front. They existed in despair and only lived out of obligation to their creator’s elder brother, but then, as Lord Ainz spoke, a spark of hoped dared to flicker in their hearts.

This Drake was nothing like the magnificence Lady Momocha had been. This Drake was shades of grey dressed in white and gold, land-bound and nothing like the beauty that was their creator. And yet—

_“Nazarick, I have returned home at last.”_

Oh, how they cried with joy.

She didn’t look like herself, but if Lord Ainz accepted her then there was no one else she could be—their Lady wasn’t lost to them anymore.

( _but she had yet to return to her chambers, and they waited eagerly for the day when Lord Ainz finally brought her to them_ )

* * *

**Uninformed**

Sealed away by himself, uninvited to leave his domain, Pandora’s Actor knew nothing but what he was told, and it had been a while since Lord Ainz came to see him.

Alone, he catalogued treasure he had already counted numerous times.

Lonely, he thought of her every day.

* * *

**Hesitation**

Ainz stood outside of his own quarters. He had yet to let his sister back into hers, though he should amend that. First, though, was that thought he had while talking to her father when he was on the Sixth Floor: Ainz should tell his sister that he loves her. Back when she had been missing in their previous world, hadn’t he hated himself for not doing that more often? Hadn’t he promised to tell her that if he ever saw her again? And yet, with her on just the other side of these doors, the thought of actually doing so was… daunting.

Ainz was an undead, he had no heart, no brain which produced chemicals, and yet here he was, metaphorically sweating over three little words.

His sister wasn’t the same as she had been. For her, that (Name) was twenty years long gone, though that was hard to reconcile with since she’d only been gone for a little over two years for himself. Why was there such a discrepancy in their timelines? Why were they here in this world? If they were here, couldn’t the same be true for the other members of the Forty-One?

He shook his head. He was trying to distract himself from the task that lay before him. She hadn’t asked, but he knew that she would want to know how things had gone, if anyone had been hurt. And though she didn’t know it, Ainz wanted to tell her something important, that promise he made so long ago.

She was his sister, the only family he had. She was his guild member, the only one he had found.

He had to convey how important she was to him, before something happened and she ended up lost to him again. Not that he would let something like that happen easily, not with magic at his fingertips and Nazarick under his command (so far).

Steeling himself, Ainz reached out and opened the door.

* * *

**Dad**

Laying on your front on one of the plush couches in Ainz’s quarters, you looked up as the door opened. You found yourself disappointed when it was just Ainz, but you mentally shook yourself. It wasn’t practical to think that Relc could make it all the way down to the ninth floor, or even that he could find you in this maze of hallways and rooms. Besides which, you _shouldn’t_ be disappointed to see him, not when he was once your flesh and blood just as much as Relc is in this lifetime.

Sitting up, you inclined your head in greetings as he walked over. “Hello, Ainz.”

Taking a seat across from you, he stared back with the red glow that substituted for eyeballs.

“Sister.”

Che. Looks as though it will be a while before he will call you ‘Ashe’.

He nervously tapped his skeletal fingers against his knee while his other hand kept hold of the Staff of Ainz Ooal Gown. His gaze seemed to be darting around the room, in that way he used to do when he had something he wanted to say but needed to gather up the courage to actually open his mouth.

You waited and stared down at the rings on your claws. Two claws didn’t have anything on them, both of which would be the ring fingers on humans, though on Drakes they were ring claws. Claws. It’s annoying how ‘claws’ is used for both the hands and fingers of drakes. You shook your head to get your mind back on track. Your ring claws were empty, and you knew why.

Neither you or your brother ever placed rings on the left ring finger of your avatars because that was where a wedding ring should go. You two weren’t the only ones to do this in the guild, much less among all the players in Yggdrasil. However, your right ring finger was bare because that was where a Ring of Ainz Ooal Gown should go and there had only ever been forty-one of those. Your avatar had had her own, but you were not her, the ‘Revival Angel’ Momocha, thus you did not have the ring.

Plus, Ainz obviously didn’t want to give you too much freedom, probably afraid that you would use your ring to escape from Nazarick. 

Not that you would, not when you being here meant that Ainz would keep his word and spare your father, your sister, and Liscor. Honestly speaking, you could forgive the loss of Liscor and even Embria, but not Relc. Your father in this life wasn’t perfect, but he was important to you. Actually, you wondered— _when_ did Relc become a key figure in this life?

Looking back, when you were first born, you only stayed out of a combination of pity and guilt towards the father of the body you were unwillingly placed in. For years you felt like an imposter in that small family of Relc, Veryl, and Embria, an intruder who had fooled them into thinking you were one of them. Due to those feelings, you let Embria lead you around and you didn’t kick and squirm whenever Relc or Veryl picked you up. You tried to be… not troublesome or burdensome. The fleeting moments of happiness you did have were always quickly replaced by guilt, because how dare you be happy without Suzuki?

So when did Relc become more than just a father to you? When did you accept him as your dad?

…Perhaps… perhaps it was when Klbkch brought you back from your despair and you saw all the food Relc had left for you. He loved to eat, you knew that, and yet he had brought you so much food and didn’t eat a bite of it while you were unresponsive. Klbkch told you to live, that Relc had brought you all that food and even fought _him_ when Relc thought he had a hand in your state back then.

Relc had fought _Klbkch the Slayer_ for your sake. He could have started another war and he didn’t even spare that consequence a single second of consideration.

After that, weren’t the two of you closer? You left to become a Courier, yes, but wasn’t going home to him the best thing every time it happened? If you had stayed close to him by staying in Liscor, you wouldn’t have had the time to miss him, so perhaps you wouldn’t have grown to love him as much, but you did leave and you did love him so very, very much.

“—ter? Sister!”

Startling slightly, you lifted your gaze to Ainz’s skull.

“You’re crying.”

Surprised, you lifted a claw to your face and felt a wetness trickling down from your eye. He was telling the truth, but when did you start crying? _Why_ did you start crying?

* * *

**Rejected**

Distressed, Ainz watched his sister try to stem her tears.

He had barely said anything this time, so why was she crying? Was it _because_ he hadn’t said anything?

“Sorry,” she murmured, eyes closed. “I’ll stop, just—I’m sorry.”

Why was she apologizing? Yes, he was uncomfortable, but then, he’d never been comfortable with her tears because he never knew what to do, but that didn’t mean he wanted her to hide from him. She was all he had in his personal life outside of Yggdrasil so she had always been a vital presence to him. Was it because _she_ wasn’t comfortable in front of him anymore?

Releasing the Staff, Ainz stood up and walked around the expensive coffee table to sit beside her. That was what he had done as Suzuki when his sister cried: he would stand or sit beside her, and she would always lean over and—

She turned her back on him.

He felt something deep inside himself crack. Her silent rejection hurt to the point where his undead status kicked in and his emotions were flat lined. However, the echo of pain remained, and he stared at the alien back in front of him.

_No._

She squeaked as he embraced her from behind. The spikes on her back scratched against his bones but left no mark. He had no bodily warmth to impart on her, no tears to share with her, nor even a heartbeat she could listen to. He was cold and hard and lacked substance, but his soul cried out for hers.

_Sister._

* * *

**Personal**

Something in the way he said that word made you think he hadn’t meant to say it aloud.

( _it was whispered agony, the despairing plea of someone who was left behind_ )

* * *

**Mundane**

Ainz didn’t say anything after that, and neither did you. He held you in that embrace for what seemed like forever, but while you hadn’t returned it, neither had you struggled to get away. In the end, he had released you, gotten up and left the room with the Staff of Ainz Ooal Gown.

Time passed, and Yuri came with food. After that, you were escorted to the library where you could borrow some books, and then you were returned to Ainz’s quarters. You refreshed your memory on pronunciation of your former mother tongue and tried not to draw out ‘s’ sounds, a habit shared by many Drakes.

Left to your own devices with Yuri occasionally checking in, you wondered if this was what the rest of your life would be like. You didn’t think you would live very long if that was the case because if you didn’t die from loneliness then you might actually die from boredom.

But, today was not a day for asking for things from Su—from Ainz.

* * *

**Bodies**

He sat upon the Throne and stared at the list before him, unable to understand why Momocha’s name was not present when her soul existed in this new world. He did not doubt that Ashe Grasstongue was his sister reborn, not with what she knew, so why then, was her name not here?

Could it be that The Great Underground Tomb of Nazarick refused to accept Momocha’s new avatar?

…Well, thinking about it, that might be the case. Momocha in spirit she might be, but she obviously wasn’t of the Angel-class.

Making himself sigh despite the lack of lungs, Ainz slumped on the Throne.

When Ashe Grasstongue died, would attempting to resurrect Momocha succeed? Technically, her soul was in this realm and merely lacked her Yggdrasil body, but typically players resurrected through either by use of an item or by paying an enormous amount of gold before respawning at one of three locations in-game. This wasn’t Yggdrasil so really, there was no guarantee…

Why was he even thinking about this? Ashe was still young and healthy. She probably still had a few decades left in her body. He couldn’t kill her or allow her to be killed—she would never forgive him, and what would he do then? Chase after her soul only to have her run away? For how long? For the rest of time?

Was he thinking about Momocha the angel because of some delusion that it would be easier to reconnect with her if she regained her Yggdrasil form? Perhaps, but perhaps not, considering they were naturally on opposite sides of the karma spectrum.

Sighing again, Ainz stood up. For now, he would work out of one of the many other vacant offices in Nazarick.

There was much work to be done in keeping his promise to his sister.

* * *

**Forever**

It is late at night, but the only reason you know is because you asked Yuri to tell you when 10 PM came so that you could go to bed. You can only make a rough estimate, but it’s been hours since you settled down to try and sleep. The bed covers were changed as per your request, and now you were lying alone on a luxurious bed that didn’t even belong to Momocha.

The door opened, and you heard the quiet rustling of cloth. Soon, Ainz appeared in your line of sight and he paused, seemingly surprised that you were still awake. As he stood there trying not to fidget under your gaze, you remembered being in his position long ago, afraid and seeking the comfort of his presence.

You did your mourning for Suzuki, but was it really so terrible to have him back? He was more Ainz than Suzuki, but he still considered himself to be your brother. You remembered both Suzuki and Momonga, this undead avatar who took the name that once belonged to everyone. This was he, a being who considered you his sister, even after all this time.

So why can’t you start your journey back to being his sister?

Relc will die someday and he is the one who will be lost to you then, and since there are no gods or afterlife, when he died, that would be it. Your current body will also die someday, but your [Reincarnate] class will give you another life with the memories of two lifetimes. You won’t be able to get Relc back, but Ainz will still be there. Ainz will remember, and as long as he loves you, he will welcome you back to his side.

So you shouldn’t push him away. You shouldn’t keep shutting him out.

He was family you could have _forever._

* * *

**Fleeting**

Ainz couldn’t decipher the look in her eyes but when she pulled the covers back, he remembered a time long ago when their positions were reversed. Hesitating for a moment, he decided to grasp this chance to help close the distance he could still sense between himself and his sister.

Undead don’t sleep, but he laid down under the covers next to her anyway. With [Negative Touch] off, he didn’t hesitate to clasp her proffered claw, laying his skeletal hand over it.

They had slept like this when they were younger, especially after mom died. He had no flesh to feel with and could only barely remember how their hands would warm when they were clasped like this, but the gesture was enough.

Earlier today she had shut him out, but right now she was trying.

Her yellow eyes stared back at the red glow that represented his and she did not look away. She didn’t say anything, not even ‘good night’, but neither did she pull away.

Eventually, he watched as her eyes blinked closed, losing the battle against sleep.

( _and for a second he was terrified she had suddenly passed away, but then her chest expanded with a breath, and he reassured himself that she was only sleeping_ )

His sister slept with uneasy dreams that made her brow furrow, but she did not pull her claw away.

For a long and wistful moment, he hoped that dawn would never come.

* * *

**We are like islands in the sea, separate on the surface but connected in the deep.**

**~William James ******


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMFG. I completely uploaded this to the WRONG STORY. Apparently I'm more out of it than I thought. lol
> 
> Well, sorry if this update over on The Greatest Healer in a Fantasy World confused you. It confused ME and I had to stare for a little while before I realized my mistake. Sorry about that.

**Dawn**

Of course, wishing for something not to come often makes it arrive all the quicker. 

All too soon it was morning and his sister’s new form was shifting as she awakened. Her scale-covered hand slipped from his boney grasp and then she was yawning widely, and my, her jaw can open really wide. He can literally see the back of her throat. Her teeth, though, are what catch his attention, an almost gleaming white whereas her so-called father’s teeth were yellow. Did Relc not believe in toothbrushes or something? Even Ainz brushes his teeth.

His sister is wide awake within a few minutes, out of bed and slowly stretching her limbs. Ainz doesn’t know much about Drake physiology but even he can see the strength in her legs.

“You mentioned you were a Courier.”

She glances over at him before resuming her exercise. “Yes. Level 40. An achievement, considering that I am only twenty.”

“Do you have… other levels?”

There is a long pause and for a moment he thinks she isn’t going to answer.

“[Reincarnate]. I have just one level in that. Those are my only two classes.” 

Her speech picks up, trying to brush over the fact that she just admitted to being able to reincarnate.

“People here believe that leveling slows with age. I, however, am of another opinion. You see, people tend to pick up multiple classes, and unlike Yggdrasil, those classes do not cap at levels 5, 10, or 15. So, instead of building a character based on multiple jobs—sorry, classes—people end up stunting their growth or wasting their levels on classes they either rarely use or classes that don’t help out their main ones.”

“Like wasting your levels on a fantasy build,” Ainz mused. “So you believe that the people of this world are allotted only 100 levels as is in Yggdrasil.”

She nodded. “Yes, but I have no proof, so it is only a personal theory.”

“What is typical for a person your age?”

She shrugged. “It varies, really. I met a male my age who was a level 18 [Blacksmith] and he was just an apprentice. He said he’d probably be under his master for another eight to ten years before he set out on his own. ‘Good’ [Blacksmiths] are typically those with levels in the late 20’s.” She finished off her stretches and turned to him. “People like leveling up, so they don’t think much of grabbing as many classes as they can. I would have done the same thing if I hadn’t noticed at a young age that those with a lot of classes leveled slowly. My current level is practically unheard of for someone my age. Then again, being a Courier isn’t exactly a safe job. The more danger one is in, the more of a challenge you overcome, the quicker you level.”

He gazed at her in deep concern.

“Then, sister, what trials have you put yourself through to achieve your current level?”

She shrugs again and he wants to shake her, to tell her not to be so careless with her own life.

“Remember, I only have two classes so leveling up in the Runner class was easier than if, say, I had three other classes. My class changed at level 30 from Runner to Courier.”

“Will it change again?”

She hummed thoughtfully, her tail swaying slowly behind her. “It’s hard to say. I’ve heard of some people getting, I don’t know, special names? Like, this one farmer near Zeres is a level 36 [Root Farmer] and he grows mostly things like carrots, potatoes, basically root vegetables. He’s old though, like nearly fifty. If I were to get a specialized Courier name, it will probably be around level 50 or 60. Maybe higher, and that’s only if I keep being a Courier, which I… rather doubt.”

He had no facial muscles, but Ainz winced nonetheless.

Yes.

Ashe Grasstongue could hardly go back to a normal life after being claimed by Ainz Ooal Gown.

* * *

**Falsehood**

“Oh.”

There was something familiar in the way she said that. Looking over at her, he saw her eyes slowly look away from him, obviously so, and he vaguely recognized it as her ‘I’m-going-to-tell-you-something-I-did that-I-probably-shouldn’t-have-and-you’re-probably-going-to-have-to-deal-with-it-at-some point’ face. He hasn’t seen that look since before she moved out of their formerly shared apartment, though he did hear that same look in her voice at least three times while playing Yggdrasil.

He sighs in a mix of fondness and apprehension. “What is it?”

She nervously tapped her claws together.

“Um… so… when I was thirteen, I might have mentioned being Momocha in a previous life to someone in Liscor?”

His gazed snapped back to her face. “What?”

He listened as the story tumbled out of her. 

Back when she was thirteen, she fell into a despondent state. Someone, Klbkch, brought her out of it long enough for her to confess that once she was slave who lived on paste. Ainz nearly snorted as that was an apt description for being a cog in the machine as any. Yes, he, and she, and most of their friends had been wage slaves, and yes, they lived on paste. He tried very hard to not think of her bad times back then, those days he had to beg her to swallow some ‘nutrition’ down. He shoved the memories away and focused again on her story.

Basically, she lied to this Klbkch, this Antinium, and she made out their real life and their Yggdrasil accounts as separate lifetimes. It was as convenient as an excuse as any other, and aside from them being human in their first lives, it was almost one he could approve of telling the Guardians. Still, it was best that she had told him this because now he knew of it and would not be lured into some trap to reveal lies in their backstories.

If he is asked, then yes, he did become a skeletal mage in his second life and summoned his sister to take another form so that they could be together again. It’s basically the truth since he started Yggdrasil first and later introduced her to the game. As for her third life, he just moved his second life to find her again. Whether he would tell that to the Guardians was up in the air for now, but the main thing was that he was a brother who would move worlds to keep his sister by his side.

And wouldn’t he, if it really was in his power? Yes. He would.

* * *

**Effort**

Ainz left you to Yuri’s oversight and said you were allowed up to the Sixth Floor if you wanted to go. Some of the traps on the higher levels were active just in case, and neither you nor Ainz wanted you to be on the receiving end of one. Imagine if you got teleported to Kyouhukou’s domain. Better to be on the safe side and stay in the boundaries Ainz set for you.

Taking Ainz up on his offer, after breakfast you asked Yuri to take you up. You both had to walk there and you couldn’t help but be amazed at just how large Nazarick was in real life. The halls of the Ninth Floor seemed to stretch on for ages and that was just one floor! Traipsing through floors Eight and Seven were an experience. Eighth Floor was creepy and made your scales crawl while Seventh Floor was hot. Glancing around the mix of barren and blazing geography, you thought about the crush you once had on Demiurge so very long ago. Did you really like the demon when he was just an image on a screen? He must have been attractive to you then but right now all you could think of was that he lacked scales and therefore you weren’t interested.

Then you remembered that Sebas was a Dragonoid and you nearly tripped over your own feet (claws, technically, but screw that! Both your fingers and your hands as a whole are already referred to as claws and you’re not throwing your feet in there too even if it is how Drakes classify those particular limbs).

Yuri half-turned. “Is something wrong, Lady Momocha?”

You bolted upright and waved your claws. “No! I’m fine!”

She stared at you for a moment before nodding. “Very well. Please, follow me. We are nearly there.”

Yes, you knew that. You had come here often enough back when you were still human. You hadn’t taken the teleporters between the floors, not when you had your Ring of Ainz Ooal Gown, but you were familiar enough with the layout of the whole ten floors of the place. [Perfect Recall] made remembering such things very easy.

Arriving on the Sixth Floor, you were first in a corridor of sorts. Yuri led you ‘outside’ and you had to physically refrain from letting your jaw drop. If you didn’t know any better you really would have thought you were actually outside. The ceiling that Blue Planet worked so hard on was currently the beautiful blue of the sky, and white, fluffy ‘clouds’ decorated it. ‘Sunlight’ filled the area and you could see the forest in the distance. The coliseum stood regally against all that and you found yourself impressed anew at the effort your guild mates had put into this place.

Holding stiffly on to your composure, you suppressed the urge to cough and asked Yuri to lead you to the water. She did, and you sat on the shore and watched the light glinting on the surface. Your guild mates really thought of everything when they made this place—imagine making even the water move when there was no wind. Truly, no details were spared into the making of Nazarick’s floors.

You were a player in Yggdrasil and a normal human once, and it’s only that knowledge that keeps you from believing that gods created this place.

Imagine if you didn’t know that—what awe and terror would this place inspire then?

* * *

**Owned**

“Ainz Ooal Gown won’t interfere in Liscor unless the city is under siege or attack.”

Olesm was muttering to himself as he stared down at a map of Issrysil, gazing between the spots that indicated Liscor and the approximate location of The Great Underground Tomb of Nazarick in the Bloodfields. It was not the first time he said that line, and that was basically the summary of the meeting between Liscor and Ainz Ooal Gown. The undead…. Mage? Archmage? The undead king of Nazarick had no interest in Liscor other than the fact that Liscor was important to Ashe Grasstongue. However, even then, losing Liscor was acceptable as long as Relc Grasstongue lived. Ainz Ooal Gown would place Relc above Embria and Liscor combined, regardless of the fact that Embria was Ashe’s twin. 

Olesm hissed as he realized his mind was wandering again and he shook his head to focus back on his sentence. Ainz Ooal Gown had no interest in meddling in Liscor unless the city was danger. He would move to protect Liscor, but only because Ashe Grasstongue had asked it of him. The Drake herself hadn’t been seen since she disappeared into a portal near Pallass, and it had been even longer since she had come home to Liscor. Ainz Ooal Gown had informed them that it was unlikely he would interfere in their daily lives, but it was non-negotiable that they would contact him in regards to a city-wide emergency. In case of attack or siege on Liscor, he would send his ‘Guardians’ and/or undead troops to defend the city, same as in the case of war on Liscor by other parties. Pandemics were the only exception to his help, though he didn’t clarify why even when asked. Basically, Ainz Ooal Gown would be a shield for the city, ensuring that they would not fall.

It was not a comforting thought, especially in light of the The Necromancer some years back. No one wanted undead near the city again, but Ainz Ooal Gown had had his eyes turned on them by Ashe and he had claimed them.

_He had claimed them._

Embria—when she wasn’t worrying over her father or pretending not to care about her sister’s absence—wanted to fight for Liscor’s freedom. Zevara was stuck between wanting the same but also not wanting to uselessly throw away the lives of the Watch and possible the citizens’ as well. 

Speaking of the citizens, quite a few wanted to use Erin’s door to escape to Pallass but Pallass had ordered that the connection to their Walled City be cut and that any passing through from Liscor’s side would be executed on the spot. The Walled City was _blaming_ Liscor because of Ashe Grasstongue, conveniently forgetting that it was _because_ of Ashe Grasstongue that the Walled City still stood at all.

Stifling an exhausted sigh, he glanced at the other Drake in the room. Wall Lord Ilvriss was speaking to someone via his personal scrying orb—they all found out the hard way that Ainz Ooal Gown and even Ashe Grasstongue were protected against such—and Olesm found himself pondering the fact that not even a Walled City’s defenses could protect against the magic held by Ainz Ooal Gown’s _underlings_. If his underlings could do that sort of damage on their own, then what sort of magical might was the undead ruler keeping under wraps? The portals alone made him a formidable foe, so what devastation could his attack magic have if he moved against them?

Digging his claws slightly into the wooden table, Olesm glared down in the map in a mix of despair and anxiety.

There was no escaping Ainz Ooal Gown, was there?

* * *

**Insufficient**

Embria all but had permission to set foot in Nazarick. Perhaps not in the dungeon itself, but definitely in the so-called graveyard reported by the Mist Scales. From there, it would be up to her sister’s whim on whether or not she would come out and speak to her, but even if she didn’t Embria would be able to see the entrance to Nazarick. She could do some reconnaissance, perhaps catch something the Mist Scales missed in their ill-fated foray into the dungeon.

( _she tries very hard not to think about how unlikely it is that her own twin will want to see her even if she goes all that way just for that small chance_ )

There are things that that undead ‘king’ will not say or divulge, and while she and Ashe are not the closest of sisters, Ashe is still a Drake. She will concede to the hierarchy of Drakes and will answer Embria’s questions.

How many levels are there? What is the approximate strength of each of the ‘Guardians’? What is the weakness of Ainz Ooal Gown?

( _why did you trade yourself away?_ )

She wants to go as soon as possible, but the Bloodfields are awake by now. It is spring and it the dangerous plants will be at their most active. Ideally she would wait until late fall or until the snows of winter, but she can’t wait that long. Mid-summer will be the latest she will even consider, and truthfully, if she could jump through the air like Ashe could then Embria would go right now.

But she’s not Ashe. Embria can’t jump on air or run hundreds of miles in a single day. She can lead her wing into battle and hold her own with her spear, but she doesn’t have the skills to reach her sister in the next few weeks, let alone the next few days.

Narrowing her eyes, Embria abruptly stood from the chair she was sitting at. Her soldiers stared at her but she didn’t have any new orders for them. Instead, she left her second-in-command in charge and left to find her father. It was early evening, so he wouldn’t be too drunk yet. As the days passed, he was drinking less, though he did have a relapse on the night of his return from wherever it was that Ainz Ooal Gown sent him.

( _he couldn’t do_ anything _, not a single damn thing, and it_ ate _at him_ )

She wasn’t going to put up with him moping again, not tonight.

( _she was every bit as impotent as he was, but instead of drinking, she got angry_ )

* * *

**Manipulation**

Ainz arrives into the light on the Sixth Floor, sees Mare near the coliseum wall and barely has time to wonder where his sister is when she comes leaping into view from the inner coliseum area. He sees her legs kick in the air and then it’s as though she just jumped off something because she goes higher into the air, clearing the top of the wall. She falls for a few seconds and then she is jumping in the air in a zig-zag pattern to slow her fall. She lands on the ground, kicking up a bit of dust as Mare claps just a few feet away. 

The dark elf says something as his sister stands, and a smile crosses her elongated face as she waves a claw, trying to be modest. It’s then that Aura appears on the top of the wall and her sharp eyes catch sight of him.

“Lord Ainz!”

Her call startles the other two into looking around and they see him, Mare first and his sister second. Yuri is just walking into sight now, exiting one of the archways leading into the coliseum. He greets them all as he nears them, coming to a stop just a few scant feet away from his sister.

She is glowing with energy, though of course not with literal light. Her scales are grey, but somehow they seem brighter than when she was down on the Ninth Floor. No doubt her heart is working hard, pumping blood through her body in an effort to keep up with her exertions. It’s probably a skill that allows her to jump on air and, briefly, he wonders if she will tell him how she got that skill and how she used it in her career as a Courier.

He wants to hear her stories.

Not because he wants to know how she has been happy without him and Nazarick, but because he wants to know more about her. His sister has been gone from him for less than three years by his perspective, but from hers she has had twenty years to become a different person. He wants to know who his sister has become.

( _he wants to know the weak points he can exploit to bring her back_ )

* * *

**Awkward**

Ainz arrives and before long it’s just the two of you as he dismisses Yuri and the twins. It’s strange to see them smiling at him so happily, even when he sends them away. Yuri isn’t as expressive as the dark elf twins but happiness gleams in her eyes anyway. Is it because Ainz is the guild master, or merely because he is one of the Forty-One?

The term ‘Forty-One’ brings unpleasant memories back to you. Before you were transported to this world, even then the members of the guild were seriously depleted. You yourself would have stopped playing if Suzuki wasn’t your twin, if he didn’t live just a couple blocks away from you. You don’t blame them for giving in when real life called, not really. It’s just how things were, and they needed to feed and provide for themselves, and sometimes even others, so you doubt that even your brother held it against them.

Oh, man. ‘Real life’.

For you, ‘real life’ suffered a major shock when you were first reborn into this world. You had two decades to adjust, but now ‘real world’ needed redefining. Your brother was here, but in all his Yggdrasil glory, so what was ‘real’ anyway?

Was this real right now? Were you really here with Suzu—Ainz by your side?

Glancing over at him, you catch him staring back at you, and you both flinch, breaking eye contact to snap your heads in different directions.

You have resolved to try to reconnect with your twin, but that doesn’t make the attempts to communicate any less painfully awkward.

* * *

**Hoarder**

Ainz berated himself.

He promised himself more than once that he would tell his sister he loved her, if only he could just get that chance, and yet here it was and what was he doing? Looking away from her after getting caught staring! She must think he’s so weird. And maybe a creep too, because who just side-eyes someone without a word?

Nervously flexing his free hand, he tried to think of something to say because if he didn’t then this silence was probably going to just keep stretching on and on.

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

The second the last word comes out of his mouth, Ainz wishes there was something he could do to take it back. He does _not_ want to know about his sister’s love life, not really. She’s a living creature, a Drake—not one of the Lizardfolk—so she probably has ‘needs’ and _no_ , he doesn’t want to picture it, thank you very much!

“I had one. My _senpai_. But he wasn’t a Drake so I never let it go anywhere.”

He waits a few seconds more, trying not to visibly cringe, but thankfully that seems to be all there is to that story.

“So you wanted a Drake for your husband?”

Why is his mouth betraying him like this?

She shrugs, and he notices that her tail is moving differently from the usual. It’s quicker, more agitated.

“I did, but who would want me now?”

He almost says something else, but this time he physically slaps his hand over his exposed teeth.

He never says aloud: _‘I wouldn’t let you go, anyway.’_

* * *

**Reliant**

Once, back in the heyday of their guild, Bellriver asked him if it would be okay to ask his sister to consider a _miai_ with him. The question had come from nowhere and left him nearly speechless. He stammered out a question of his own, asking Bellriver which prefecture he lived in. His friend’s answer left him cold because it was far away from where he and his sister currently lived.

Bellriver and Momocha got along well. He knew that. She got along well with most of the guild members and was polite and distant to those she didn’t like. Suzuki hadn’t thought anything of it, had merely been glad that she was having fun and that he didn’t have to feel guilty about excluding her anymore. Sure, _maybe_ she seemed to get along with Bellriver the most, but he could have said the same thing about BubblingTeapot, HeroHero, and even Ulbert. It just never entered his head that his sister could potentially become romantically involved with anyone, never mind their fellow guild members.

He thought of her no longer being within reach, of being hundreds of kilometers apart, of having multiple prefectures between them, and the thought of being left alone had forced several small words from his suddenly trembling lips.

“Please don’t take my sister away.”

( _in that moment he sounded like a lost and frightened child_ )

Bellriver retracted his question and tried to smooth things over. He never said it was a joke, but Suzuki couldn’t get over the fact that Bellriver wanted to marry his sister and therefore _take her away from him_. Bellriver had left their chat and logged off soon after that.

The next time Bellriver logged on it was to inform him that he was quitting Yggdrasil.

Suzuki apologized for their last conversation (but never said it would be okay for the proposed _miai_ to take place), but Bellriver assured him that he wasn’t quitting because of that. He had laughed and said it would be easier to just leave the guild if that was the case. No, it was his job that demanded his attention, as well as the woman his parents set him up with. Yeah, he was a newlywed, and real life wouldn’t let him ignore it anymore.

So Bellriver left and then they were twenty-one.

He asked his sister once if Bellriver ever said anything to her. He had asked in a private chat, so he never saw whichever expressions she might have made. Eventually, after what seemed like forever, she said that Bellriver once asked her if she would marry him. She never gave him a proper answer because she had been so shocked that the first thing she said in reply had been to ask him a question.

She had asked him what prefecture he lived in.

Bellriver laughed, but not mirthfully. He told her that she and her brother were two peas in a pod. He told her to forget he asked and that was the second-last conversation they had.

( _hearing that, he felt a surge of relief that was almost staggering—she hadn’t wanted to leave him anymore than he wanted to be separated from her and now he knew he didn’t have to worry that one day she would up and leave him_

_but the same belief that brought him joy, she would never willingly abandon him, would also be the same reason why he suffered so greatly in the wake of her disappearance less than five years from then_ )

Their last had been when he made a private chat to tell her goodbye and the he had gotten married. He then made an aborted sound, as though he cut off something he started to say, and in the end he told her to take care of herself. That was the last she ever heard from him.

* * *

**Hell**

Here in the present, Ainz couldn’t help but feel relieved that his sister had put off getting married. If she was married with kids, then it probably would have been impossible to make her happy here. Sure, he would have tried his best to arrange things so that she could have at least her children with her, but a mother would be difficult to deal with. No to mention, would he be an uncle then? He didn’t share her blood anymore, but they _knew_ they were twins so…. Better to have luckily avoided that particular entanglement.

It was difficult enough with just her being attached to her father. Ainz wasn’t out of the woods just yet in relation to the whole Ashe-and-Relc thing. In fact, just thinking about it was giving him a headache.

There was no guarantee that his sister would be reborn in _this_ world when she died again, so he wasn’t inclined to let her out of the safety of Nazarick. If she changed worlds again then he would probably never find her again. Thus, he had to make the most of her current life. He had to spend as much time as possible with her _now_ , just in case they didn’t have a later.

He was an undead. He would no longer grow. Age could not touch him.

But time could touch her. She would age. Eventually, she will die.

If she can’t be reborn in this world again, if she’s going to slip from his fingers one more, perhaps forever, then he has to stock up on her presence now. He has to enjoy her presence while he has a chance, just in case.

Just in case.

( _he doesn’t want to think about it—time stretching on forever in which he is alone with just the memories of his sister and their guild mates_

_memories aren’t enough, will never be enough_

_he doesn’t want to have to learn how to live without her again_

_not again_ )

* * *

**are you because of me?  
am I me because of you?  
the lines have long since blurred.**

**if, that is, they ever existed.**

**~Katherine Mariaca-Sullivan ******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [coughs]
> 
> My embarrassing mistake aside, the original end note I had was basically thus:
> 
> My birthday passed last weekend (Feb. 10). I got present, a cake, and food. It was nice. :)


End file.
